<p>Hi everyone we have a question our D who is being recruited by D1 Schools for soccer got a strange request on Facebook from a coach at one of the schools recruiting her,he requested her as a friend on Facebook. Wife checks the page there is nothing inappropriate on there, like D said her Gmom is her friend and is always posting back and forth thanks joekel</p>
<p>This is a new trend in college admissions. I think it’s supposed to make the school look hip and in-touch. If she accepts, make sure she restricts which parts of her page he can read (this is done on “privacy settings”).</p>
<p>If it were my daughter or me, I would ignore the request. What if she accidentally posted something about being recruited by a different school? That would be awkward. I’m speaking from personal experience - D excitedly posted about an acceptance to one school before he remembered he’d friended an athlete at another one of his top choices! Oops.</p>
<p>Maine Longhorn is deadon. Kids are not used to editing their comments and responses to their friends inquiries or in casual comments.</p>
<p>Right. I don’t agree with the 200 casual friend thing. Could cause trouble later on.</p>
<p>I probably wouldn’t accept a coach. Players on the teams, on the other hand, I would/did, as it was a great way to keep in touch, talk before visits, learn more about the schools, etc. and I’m pretty careful about what I post. Oldbatesie, idk if you’re referring to a # of friends with the “200 casual friend” but I have a friend/doubles partner with over 3000 facebook friends. Wayyyyy too many IMO, but I guess he’s a popular guy…</p>
<p>i don’t see anything wrong with it. the flip side to open information is that people are more aware of their behavior because “everyone” can see and therefore behave more responsible. fb, twitter, linkedin, and a wave of next generation web-services that are coming is going to continue to push openness and instantaneous awareness. Everyone finds out about everything eventually, now it just happens a lot faster</p>
<p>Joekel,</p>
<p>I’ve given this more thought after your PM. Bottom line for me is that the potential bad outweighs the potential good in this situation. There is too much “bad” that can happen (some out of daughter’s control) that could potentially jeopardize daughter’s standing with the recruiting coach. I’m not very clear on the potential upside to accepting the FB friendship. I like social networking and I think it can add a lot of value to people’s lives. However this is not a friend -> friend (casual) relationship. It is a potential student/athlete -> coach (subordinate/boss) relationship. Some of these young adults have worked very hard to get themselves into a position to have shot at going to some great schools & great athletic programs. Remember these young adults are just getting to know the adult world. I would hate to see anyone lose that opportunity because someone posts something inappropriate on their “Wall”. Once the student/athlete is accepted to the school, then I think it can work. </p>
<p>Call me an old fart on this one, but I would play it conservatively.</p>
<p>fenwaysouth</p>
<p>oh, I missed the part where it’s a friend request from a recruiting coach, interesting! If your D is interested in being recruited by that coach I think she should accept. If I was recruiting an athlete and I didn’t get an accepted friendship request I would think that athlete wasn’t interested in my school or didn’t like me.</p>
<p>After a coach submitted a friend request, my D changed her privacy settings so that she can’t be searched for. Then she e-mailed that coach to say that she isn’t on FB very much and would prefer to communicate with her by e-mail. My older S had previously checked D’s FB and verified there was nothing even remotely inappropriate on it, but that check-up was intended as a safeguard against a school/coach/adcom hacking in (we’d heard it happens) or in case a current student athlete at one of these schools already had access to D’s FB and gave that access to the coach (which again, we’d heard happens). We had no idea the coach would ask directly, and frankly it creeped D out. </p>
<p>As others have already noted, someone can post something at any time which could make your child look bad even though s/he is perfectly innocent. This could be a joke that could be misconstrued, or even a deliberate sabotage from a jealous competitor. There is no need for the coach to communicate in this way, and the possible downsides are too many.</p>
<p>I agree with TheGFG and fenway south on this one. Don’t friend coaches. Too many times friends can ask “how the trip to X college went?” or “I heard you signed with X!” Way too hard to control information/rumors. Just use email. Let Facebook be for friends.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for the advice- we including D have to decided not to ignore or confirm request. If coach asks about D just going to say she is not on it much joekel</p>
<p>If this coach/school is your top pick then communicate with him or her including fb. good coaches listen to their athletes and not random postings from other people. </p>
<p>if this is your d’s top pick I’d engage, engagement builds the relationship and come time for offers and scholarships those athletes with relationships with their first choice coaches/schools get offers.</p>
<p>my d talked with her 1st choice coach vie the internet for 8 months before meeting the coach face to face, they were friends when they met! now for my d’s particular sport, it can not be done well unless you’re tight with the coach…so this relationship opinion may not be valid for other sports as much…but I gotta think most athletes are better with a good relationship with the coach. </p>
<p>And to parents of athletes being recruited that “relationship” does not start in the fall on a college campus, it starts now!</p>