I'm a sixteen-year-old girl diagnosed ADHD, depression, and anxiety, and I'm currently failing 11th grade as a result of it.
I attend online school that lets students turn in work at their own pace, but my depression and anxiety sent me into horrible anxiety attacks if I even tried to log on to do work and now I’m months behind in assignments with mostly F’s. Except for B’s in Chemistry and Math where I’ve made up some of the backlog.
I don’t know what to do- should I try to attend summer school and redo the grade, or maybe just redo the grade since I would fail anyway? Would redoing the grade help my GPA any? I really wanted to get into college but I’m not sure that any would accept me now. Does anyone have any suggestions, or maybe went through something similar?
You should probably talk to your teachers or guidance counselor about your options for summer school or redoing the grade. We won’t be able to advise you as well as they will.
Community college is always an option? Most of them are basically open enrollment, you take some of the lower-level classes for your eventual degree, and then you transfer to a four-year university.
You should have an advisor even for online schooling, and you need to arrange a meeting ASAP with that person, you, and a parent (it can be over the phone/Skype). You are currently experiencing a health crisis and may be able to get medical incompletes/extensions so that you can complete the work this summer and it won’t look any different on your transcript than having completed them “normally.”
That said, this plan only works if you get better. Are you getting the care you need? Do you have a therapist, a psychiatrist, good family support? You can get yourself an extension on your coursework (maybe) but it makes no difference if you’re just going to continue drowning this summer. First order of business is to be WELL. Arrange the school meeting and get your treating doctor to write an official letter explaining that due to your medical issues, you are unable to work at full capacity at this time and will need accommodations. And then get the treatment you need. School can wait, I promise. I hope you feel better very soon.
I currently have a lovely therapist and a doctor that’s helping me find the right dosage of medication. They just came a bit late unfortunately. My Mother and Grandmother are lovely and say they don’t care if I don’t pass but depression doesn’t like to hear that, ya know? Thank you for your nice comment.
Hi, and hugs! Way back in the stone age (that would be the 1980’s) I went through something similar, and I ended up having to get my GED at age 19 because none of the other available solutions at the time worked for me. It’s better today, in some respects because of modern therapy, medication, and online schooling options, but yeah, that doesn’t make the present reality for you any better, does it?
All I can say is, hang in there. It’s great that you’ve got supportive family who are getting you help to work on your troubles, and a therapist who is helping you there and with medication. I agree with @bodangles that for a case like yours, repeating the course(s) at your online school, then Community College is probably the best stepping stone, as entrance there de-stresses the “stepping up” process. There’s no rush in this. It’s your life, and your health. If it takes you a little more time, that’s fine. Nobody is keeping track, I promise!
It sounds like you are in a pickle and miserable. How many classes are you taking now and how many are you sure you can manage now? You are getting very close to the term I would rather take a penalty of some sort than face a semester of failing grades that will follow you and require an explanation. If, however, that is your only option…do it.
You are diagnosed with three chronic conditions that are most likely to be helped through medication which will take some time to sort out. Your conditions are not equivalent to strep that probably gets cured with antibiotics. The right medical regime will help you find a normal place within the context of you diagnoses. You may find that variations in your behavior or feelings make you feel rocky. Rather than assume your medication is screwed up, you may think about the pressures in your life and take action on what is makes you feel upset or unsettled.
Think about yourself and identify triggers that make you feel antsy or upset. Figure out where and wyou are comfortable in your world and when somethings trigger one or more of conditions. These can start setting your parameters. The good is good until xXxX send the bad is bad until xXxX. What must you do and what can you avoid? For example, I have terrible time when I am crowded. Instead, I wait in my seat in an airplane until the chaos of the aisle and overheads are done. I am often the last off the plane but still calm. Last is better than jumpy. I think it is helpful, at least for me, to make choices, manage my environment, and learn to calm or sooth yourself. You might find your therapist can help you set boundaries and develop coping skills.
Now back to school. Cut your losses in school and move on. If there are lessons from a bad experience, learn from them. It is tempting to relive every moment or agonize about your choices, but that is unlikely to be helpful and does take up time that could be better used. Figure out how to distract yourself. I don’t hear you say that you have academic problems so you probably will not qualify for an IEP. If you need academic sprucing up, find a tutor. Assuming you already have a therapist or clinician, see s/he can work on your documentation. That may help you get accommodations on the SAT or ACT. AHEAD.org has good info on documentation.
Perhaps getting a GED is an option or working back into high school. Community colleges can help with remediation of skills, take classes that satisfy college requirements, offer tutoring at a learning center, provide accommodations for students with disabilities, and have a smaller environment.
Best to you! Lots in your life is confusing and unpleasant now. However you have support systems to call upon. Don’t let misery get you bound up. Instead, do whatever steps help you make your way and look to your supports for observations, insight and suggestions.
I don’t think this is necessarily correct. She DOES have academic problems - severe ones, in that she cannot/does not have the motivation to log onto her courses and complete them. That is almost certainly a direct result of anxiety and depression. A student with anxiety and depression CAN get an IEP, and there are accomodations available for those students.
OP, call (or have your parent call or otherwise contact) the director of the online school. Find out if there are any extensions available in the case of medical issues. You feel hopelessly behind now, but it might be different if you could get meaningful extensions of the time to complete the course. It sounds like your therapy is relatively new, but if you’ve been in therapy for a while and you’re still finding yourself unable to function in terms of school, you might need something more intensive. Perhaps you could ask your therapist about good school refusal programs in your area.
I personally don’t think that online programs, which tend to lack the structure of a regular classroom, are a great fit for most students with anxiety and depression. I agree with the poster above who suggested you return to a regular school with an IEP/504 and some significant supports and I would give that serious consideration for next year.
I understand what you’re going through and I know college may seem like the most important thing at the moment but you need to understand that your mental health needs to come first. Stressing out and working over the summer to get into college but that will be no good if it causes your mental health to deteriate even more. My advice is work on getting over this (or at least to a livable standard) and then repeat the grade.
I also reccommend going to community college first before a research uni as college can be a very stressful and lonely place.
Just remember that everything will turn out alright in the end. Last year I suffered from severe depression and missed a lot of school because of it but I didn’t push myself and got better and now I’m mentally able I’m doing well in school.
I’ve personally found support groups very helpful. I’d recommend trying to find a DBSA group (http://www.dbsalliance.org) or a NAMI group (https://www.nami.org/Find-Your-Local-NAMI) - they may even have groups specific for young adults depending where you live. If not, there are online groups as well though I have so far only tried an online DBSA group once, I go IRL where I live.
