<p>All of us moms are feeling your anxiety- and it is so sweet of you to not want to worry your parents. I agree the suites can be isolating especially if you don’t have a roommate! I really think through the community service opportunities and once classes start you will find kindred spirits. I totally agree that it can be hard to attend some of the bigger events alone. Take care and best of luck, it will definitely get better, and soon!</p>
<p>You’ll be fine. Son and his best friend were alone in their suites, and though next door to each other, both gave their parents that lonely call on their first night alone in their dorm room. After working all day at Alabama Action, they were too exhausted to be lonely and crashed out after dinner every night. Then classes started, and kids on the floor started doing homework together, walking to classes together.</p>
<p>I remember even from my college days, seeing the same people following the same path as me to class. We eventually fell into step alongside each other and wound up eating lunch together and reviewing for tests while we waiting for the classroom to open up.</p>
<p>Living in a single is not much different than living in the suites, as each tends to go to their bedroom and close the door. Many times I’m visiting my son and am surprised to see the suitemate come out of his room from a nap. I had no idea he was even home!</p>
<p>Good luck to you on your first year in college. You’re going to do great!</p>
<p>OP…</p>
<p>Let us know if you attended any WOW week activities!</p>
<p>Are you in Honors?</p>
<p>I find that these planned activities are often very intimidating for a loner, or someone who is just not a “joiner”. Don’t feel that you won’t find your place if you don’t find your fit at WOW or the football games or Get On Board Day. You’ll find your people, and if not, you’ll find your place. College is not just about learning and meeting new people, but it’s also about finding yourself. Wishing you the best of luck this year.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone, and our son was a freshman and in your shoes last year. Being somewhat introverted himself, he had a bit of trouble at first finding his groove.</p>
<p>Just don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and meet people. Try your hardest not to be shy. Introduce yourself, because I think you will quickly find there is not a more friendly campus out there! Especially in a school the size of UA.</p>
<p>Also, I will let you in on a little secret… There are MANY students who feel exactly like you do right now, they just may be a little better at hiding it or sharing what they are thinking. Remember that and remind yourself of it. It will help!</p>
<p>Good luck to you, and keep us posted. We are here to help.</p>
<p>There is a TON of great advice here for all incoming students who may be a little on the introverted side, are attending alone, not knowing anyone beforehand, etc. </p>
<p>I do not want to discount what has been said in any way, but instead, this thread should serve as a cautionary tale to these incoming students for next fall.</p>
<p>The time to avoid this situation of feeling isolated starts the moment you apply to UA. There are many steps to take that can help you before you even set foot on campus.</p>
<ul>
<li> Set up a profile on Roommate Finder - even if you are living in a single, you can see others’ profiles and probably find someone with similar interests to correspond with, as early as December of the year prior to your attending.<br></li>
<li> Start looking on Facebook group sites for the year that you are attending. You will become familiar with several different types of students and their families, and there may be some who are similar to you, again to start corresponding with, before you even get to campus.</li>
<li> Read these CC posts and between the lines you will find students who are like you. The Classofxxxx Roll Call threads seem to provide a lot of information. Write to people and make connections with others.</li>
<li> Ask your local recruiter for a list of students in your area, or from the neighbouring high schools in your home state, or if they cannot give you a list (due to confidentiality), ask for their help in connecting you with other students locally.</li>
<li> Look on the Dean’s List from previous years to see who from your town or who is nearby to you, is attending UA already. With some sleuthing, you/parents can often connect with these other families now, and they are a valuable resource for information about their experiences.</li>
<li> Buy a UA decal for your car window(s) and some UA apparel. You WILL be amazed at how many people mention a connection to UA after seeing these.</li>
<li> Look into your local UA Alumni group - there are several nation-wide, as well as some more specific ones through your eventual college (e.g., College of Eng’g has it’s own alum group).</li>
<li> Seriously consider one of the pre-college activities: either Early College or SITE, or Camp 1831 for incoming Freshman; or, if you are an Honors College student, either Alabama Action or Outdoor Action. ANY of these activities give you an instant group of new people to hang with who all have a common objective. You get to move onto campus earlier than everyone else, and this gives you additional time to get acclimated.</li>
<li> Sign up for as many clubs and groups as you feel comfortable with. Research beforehand which ones you are interested in. Contact them BEFORE you get to campus, throughout your Senior year in HS and ask them about their group. Trust me, there are more than enough groups for everyone - the trick is finding the right fit, and not getting overwhelmed by how many different opportunities there are, and therefore shutting down and joining nothing… Do your homework before you get on campus and hit the ground running.</li>
<li> Look into the same activities that you enjoy at home, at UA, and plan on continuing these. Do some research before you get to Tuscaloosa and find out what similar groups you can join in the community.</li>
<li> Look at the job boards and try to find a very part-time job on campus. Having a job often gives you an instant connection with a group of other students, especially if the job is people-oriented and customer-service oriented.</li>
</ul>
<p>Plan on keeping busy at college. Many parents caution about overloading your first semester, but I have found that if you are busy doing things you enjoy, you will find time for these and still be successful at your studies. </p>
<p>To parents: read between the lines here about how isolating the suites can be for some students at UA. It is far too easy for some students to just shut themselves in their rooms and not connect with others, especially if they do not know (or like) their suitemates. Take steps to prevent this before your student gets on campus.</p>
<p>Good luck, Fay - you’ll get there with making those connections. Be sure to come back and let us know what worked for you.</p>
<p>-I’m starting to feel more comfortable here in UA! I attended a few WOW events and I met some amazing students who share similar interests as me! I quickly realized that I am more comfortable attending small WOW Events such as the Ripple Effect and the Gorgas Library Open House rather than large WOW Events like the Kick Off Event or Student Night at Target. </p>
<p>-I’m still kind of intimidated to eat in Lakeside Dining alone, but I hope to get over that fear soon. (I always take my food to-go and eat in my room).</p>
<p>-Living in a single suite is still lonely, but I am grateful that I have this suite because I can focus on my homework and not worry about noisy roommates.</p>
<p>A BIG thank you to everyone who gave me tips and suggestions! All of these really helped! Feel free to leave anymore suggestions!</p>
<p>Glad to hear you are coping and feeling better and that you’ve found some smaller events to start with. My son mentioned he ate at Burke and found it to be less noisy and crowded than Lakeside and he liked that. Know you are not alone!</p>
<p>Superb! 99.99% of things at UA just work themselves out. I met one of my best friends in university because I was sitting alone in the dining hall and she was doing the same and we both noticed this and connected. I hope you will eventually get comfortable eating there instead of in your room.</p>
<p>Addtl comment about Lakeside. YES, it seems particularly noisy and crowded in there this year - this is so different to last year when we first moved S into Riverside. Then it was a week earlier than everyone else, so naturally it was quieter. When I visited him in Oct last year, I also ate there and found it had toned down (probably will do that immediately after classes start tomorrow and people start getting on their individual schedules). So this is a good point SpaceCoastMom makes - Lakeside is especially intimidating right now because everyone is eating together and people appear to have already linked up with one another. Once classes start, it will tone way down, and eating alone will not seem strange or intimidating at all.</p>
<p>Keep it up! These feelings are more common than you might think. :)</p>
<p>When you want to be around people in the dining hall, but have no one to eat with, bring a book. Once you have classes, you might bring your most enjoyable text. Or else bring your favorite all-time book to read - even if it is Harry Potter or something similar. </p>
<p>That way, you don’t feel like people are wondering why you are alone. Perhaps you just have some reading to catch up on. The benefit of bringing your FAVORITE book (text or otherwise) is when someone says “Oh, you are in Art Appreciation? Me, too!” or “The Sorcerer’s Stone is MY favorite book!” It gives you a starting point and attracts people who share your interests. </p>
<p>Also, if no one asks about the book, if it is one of your FAVORITES you may feel very comfortable reading and eating dinner, even if it is the tenth time you read the material. When you FEEL comfortable, it makes everything easier.</p>
<p>Fay2013, have you noticed there are over 1700 views on this thread? You are definitely not the only one feeling this way! You’ve probably helped many others by starting this discussion.</p>
<h1>1 Try to eat at the other dining halls in addition to Lakeside, particularly Bryant. While other dining halls recently introduced bar-style seating which means that a stranger is more likely to sit next to you, Bryant has had this type of seating for years and students eating there are used to eating next to strangers. There is also a higher percentage of upperclassmen eating at Bryant because it’s somewhat removed from the areas frequented by freshmen.</h1>
<p>I’m really glad to see that you’re enjoying some of the many activities UA has to offer.</p>
<p>^^^Yes, please, go eat at Bryant. You will likely meet a very nice boy, perhaps an engineering major, over there. Lots of introverts in that group, so you will not be alone. Bring a good book with you, and you just might strike up a conversation with someone who has read the book as well. Good luck!</p>
<p>Fay2013: There is a lovely veranda outside at Lakeside Dining where you can eat your meals. When I was on campus last week, they were doing some construction work out there, but it is probably finished by now. </p>
<p>Don’t be afraid to eat at any of the dining halls alone, your food will be hot and you can stay for dessert. 
I agree about always having a book with you, you can do some class reading or your homework. You will be surprised at how many students would love to have someone to eat with. I am sure you are not alone in wanting that, many students are shy. Just smile and chat with people on line and you will find someone to eat with. If you go back to your room to eat, that will make it harder to meet people. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.</p>
<p>Glad to hear that things are getting easier. Keep checking in with us…</p>