<p>I am a freshman girl who lives in a single suite (due to a medical condition). At first I was excited to finally have my own room! But, now I am really regretting it because I feel isolated, lonely, and sad. I don’t know anyone in the Tuscaloosa area. Even though I am a shy person, I never had problems making friends until now. Everyone seems to want to only talk/hang out with their roommates. I want to talk to my parents about it, but I don’t want to worry them more. </p>
<p>Is it normal to feel this way? Does anyone have any tips?
Thank You!</p>
<p>It’s a slow time right now before classes start. It will help to go to all the WOW activities. You will definitely need to put yourself in situations where you can meet people. Also, you might reach out to your RA. She might be able to connect with you with others who are feeling the same way. </p>
<p>Classes start soon! That will help, but you will probably find that joining some groups will help the most. What are you interested in?</p>
<p>That’s great. There are lots of opportunities for community service. I’m not sure when Get on Board day is, but there will be organizations set up for you to stop by and get info. Do you have any interest in church or synagogue? Most have campus groups that are a great way to get to know other students and also typically offer ways to serve the community.</p>
<p>You’re going to have to get out of your room and off your computer to meet people. I’m sure that no one will be knocking on your door “just because”. Not trying to be crass but school is just beginning. Adjustments take time but you have to be willing to reach out to people on campus by doing and exploring. Feeling isolated can be a normal phase but get out of your room and change that. Good luck!</p>
<p>I believe that each floor has a freshman RA to ensure that the freshmen are acclimating etc to college life. Things are just starting but please reach out. That is what they are there for and I’m sure they will be able to direct you appropriately. Good luck!</p>
<p>As others have said, get out and check out WOW and all of the other activities being put on by the school to find a way to get involved. If you are interested in getting involved in a church many are having get togethers this week to get kids together. Talk to your RA, they may know others in your dorm feeling the same way. </p>
<p>Yes, the kids there are spending a little more time with their roommates right now as they most likely just meet and are getting to know each other and it gives them that “instant friend”. Soon even the roommates will be making their own circle of friends thru their individual interests that the get connected with on campus. </p>
<p>You can do it! Go out and see what there is tomorrow and find something to get involved in on campus.</p>
<p>I went online and saw a few WOW events that I would like to attend.
I didn’t know that Riverside had a TV and game room. I will definitely check that out. Thank you!</p>
<p>What you’re feeling is perfectly normal. That’s one of the things that has always troubled me about the suit style dorms. They discourage interaction among residents not living in the same suite. But there are other ways to get to know people. </p>
<p>Like the others have said, go attend lots of WOW events. On Wednesday, get to know the others in your classes. Keep Get On Board Day on your calendar and attend. Join a fitness class at the Rec. If you are even mildly religious (atheist/agnostic), go to the appropriate faith group meeting/service. You will meet TONS of people these ways. Don’t let the slow start get in the way of enjoying this time, which is one of the best parts of being a freshman.</p>
<p>As someone who was very shy and introverted when I started college I’m going to be a contrarian. I also think things will be OK in time … be open to it taking a little while. For me the planned activities with a lot of people were not helpful for meeting new people as I was uncomfortable in groups of strangers … actually joining planned group activities made me feel worse … I didn’t feel comfortable jumping in and felt worse watching all the other people who were jumping in. For me what was MUCH more effective was to find spontaneous ways to get into groups of 2-3-4 people. For example, being the one to walk down the hall and ask if anyone wants to eat now or after “everyone” has gone out to the frats or drinking walking the hall and realizing “everyone” wasn’t really out at the big party and that the kids left in the dorm were likely to want to join me for a movie or card game or soccer game or etc. </p>
<p>Extend yourself in a way that works for you. For me, planning to go to a big party and to meet lots of new people was planning to disappoint myself … shooting for meeting and getting to know a bit about one new person on my floor each day was a much more reasonable and comfortable goal for me. Find what works for you and I’m sure you’ll be fine in time.</p>
<p>School and most extracurricular activities haven’t started up yet. Right now, students are mainly hanging out with people they knew previously and are being introduced to friends of friends. Even the latter takes time. There are plenty of both new and returning students who want to make more friends. One thing many people forget is to be open to meeting people with different backgrounds than yourself whom you might not normally be friends with. Many of the most memorable experiences I had at UA involved going with friends or new found acquaintances to events or activities which I would not normally attend. Also, consider striking up conversations when in line for something or before/after class. Some of my best friends in college were those I just started talking to and eventually found out we had a lot in common.</p>
<p>Even when there isn’t an activity going on to attend, a student can:</p>
<p>Sit by the Riverside pool and meet people.
Go to the Rec Center and meet people in an aerobics class or whatever
Get a book and sit by lake by Lakeside
Get a book and sit in Starbucks (lots of people hang out there)</p>
<p>But, definitely go to those WOW events. Also, many church groups are sponsoring events. They don’t care what your faith is…you can still meet people there. </p>
<p>Be sure to go to the Target night…probably can meet some kids there, too. (Is that tonight?? )</p>
<p>“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh</p>
<p>and I read this elsewhere on saying goodbye to friends…</p>
<p>“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh</p>
<p>I saw something called “Ripple Effect” which is a day of service for Freshmen held tomorrow, Aug 20. From what I understand, you check in early in the day and then are placed with a small group of freshmen at various places to perform service projects. You mentioned that you were interested in community service and sometimes it is easier to meet people while you are all united on a common mission! Here’s what I found:</p>
<p>The event will run from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tuesday, Aug. 20.</p>
<p>Freshmen will perform a variety of tasks at Tuscaloosa service agencies, including painting, cleaning and landscaping. Volunteer sites include Habitat for Humanity Tuscaloosa, 109 Juanita Drive and 1723 16th Ave. East; Youth For Christ/Campus Life, 1401 McFarland Blvd.; Tuscaloosa Metro Animal Shelter, 3140 35th St.; YMCA – Downtown, 2405 Paul Bryant Drive; and Tuscaloosa Head Start Center, 2200 Second St.</p>
<p>The center recognizes this day of service as an opportunity to increase the visibility of the University’s commitment to service, to enhance relationships among community and University leaders and to promote progress by producing graduates who will become effective leaders in Alabama and abroad.</p>
<p>To learn more or to register for Ripple Effect 2013, contact Kimberly Montgomery at <a href=“mailto:kmont@sa.ua.edu”>kmont@sa.ua.edu</a>.</p>