<p>Our community college has a reputation of having an excellent disablities department. Since you are in a larger city is it possible that you have several community colleges to possibly attend. Maybe another school would have a more supportive staff.
Could your son email each professor and explain his disability and ask if they would be willing to keep his parents in the loop. Or if they would be willing to give your son weekly emails as to how he is doing to his school email and have your son give you the password.</p>
<p>Instead of relying on direct communications from the professors, you could encourage your son to set up regular appointments (biweekly, monthly) with his academic advisor. Many colleges have online reporting that professors use to alert advisors when students are behind in their work, not coming to class etc. </p>
<p>I know that my opinion will be an unpopular one, but I strongly believe that college students must look for support and assistance with academic struggles without relying on the parents. College is not set up for parent involvement for a good reason. However, there are alternative college support structures available that bridge the gap between the security of the parents’ involvement in high school and the autonomy of the workplace and graduate school.</p>
<p>Speaking as a college professor and also as a parent who did receive weekly emails from my son’s HS teachers as part of his accommodations, I don’t think the email thing will work. It barely worked in high school, and not surprisingly, the teachers who were the “best” about emailing were also those who were best able to meet my son’s needs in the classroom, anyway. If nothing else, the professor will likely forget to do this - and it would be a courtesy, not a requirement, in any case.</p>
<p>What worked really well for one student in my class last year was a standing appointment. Every Friday at 12:00, there she would be, in my office, with her notebook and her questions. We had a nice chat for 15 or 20 minutes and we both felt better about her understanding of the concepts.</p>
<p>But I do agree with NJSue that college is the time for the student to take on the responsibility and the parents to back out of the picture. In the OP’s situation, perhaps they should fade out slowly rather than simply disappearing the way most parents are expected to. Maybe Mom and Dad can be the son’s safety net - remind him to set up the meeting, remind him to go to the meeting, ask him about the meeting afterwards - but let him do the interface with the prof.</p>
<p>He doesn’t have an academic advisor.</p>
<p>All I want is for one person at one college to care if he succeeds. The community colleges run all these TV commercials featuring formerly at risk folks whose lives were turned around by their community college experience. Maybe Son should get a lot of piercings and some gang-relatied tatoos so the community college will recognize him as someone who should get some attention.</p>
<p>I guess that a person who is extremely bright, but doesn’t have the organizational skills to turn work in on time, etc. without parental involvement is not deserving of a college degree. I guess that is how you get briliant 50 year old grocery store cashiers. </p>
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<p>There are very few of those in the United States and they are extremely expensive. I can’t pay $35,000 a year on top of tution.</p>
<p>Here’s just a thought…it probably won’t work so well as I assume you are busy but…
Have you considered taking one of the classes with your son? I know of someone that used to take a community college course with her daughter (her daughter was still in high school at the time, and they did it together as a bonding / common interest thing). It’s also quite common for adults to be take community college classes.</p>
<p>You don’t have to sit next to him (I know if I were your son I’d hate that), but perhaps sitting across the room. And while it won’t give you an idea of his status in the other classes, you might be able to get a general idea of his mindset. </p>
<p>I’ve had medical problems for several years, and despite going to an expensive school, pulling teeth usually sounds easier than trying to get responses from professors in regards to special/unusual accomodations.</p>
<p>I’m sure most will see this as an impractical and unrealistic idea, but who knows. I wish you both the best of luck.</p>
<p>Have you met with the disabilities office in person?
Your genuine concern for your son and his consent to your involvement might be clearer to them during an in-person meeting.</p>
<p>I have been a professor for over 30 years and cannot imagine not helping a student who has asked for some reasonable request. However, I think a student preparing a letter like choryphee and personally explaining to each professor what the problem is and that in an effort to both be successful in college and to fulfill the requirements in the prof’s class, he would like the professor to contact his parents whenever he notices a problem or if he stops attending class. It may not work for every class, but I’m pretty confident it would work for most of his classes.</p>
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<p>Generally speaking, I would agree with you. But having worked with a number of Aspergers kids (I work in an Honors Program) I know how difficult things can be for some of them. They can be brilliant but can barely negotiate the campus to get from class to class. I’ve seen their fellow students be cruel but I’ve also seen other students virtually adopt them and make sure they are well taken care of. It can be a long process to help them become independent and prepare them to function well in the post-college world.</p>
<p>I wish I had a surefire answer to OPs problem. If you haven’t met with the Disability people in person, I think that’s a good idea. But, in the long run, you’ll probably have to piece together strategies that will no doubt have to vary from class to class as some professors will be more willing to be helpful than others.</p>
<p>Missypie, I’m surprised that your son does not have an academic advisor. Advisors are usually assigned automatically to all students by the major department or, if no major has been declared, through the campus career/advising center (which often includes disability services). I would ask your son about this. He may have one and not realize the assignment. I work at a master’s level comprehensive university that offers standard, but by no means lavish, services. Every student gets assigned an advisor. That’s commonplace practice at most colleges.</p>
<p>I really hope that your son succeeds. I sense your frustration and I wish you and your son all the best.</p>
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<p>Which is why it’s important for him to meet personally (with or without you) with each professor. That would be hard for any kid, but especially for one with Asperger’s…and that’s why it’s so important. Because of the impersonal nature of college, it needs to become “personal” for each professor. Even the jerks.</p>
<p>Why can’t he just give you access to his college accounts?</p>
<p>Missypie-- I have a person that works in the disabilities office who works with me on staying organized and makes sure that communication between me and my professors about my disabilities runs smoothly-- I have had some issues where I have been really sick and missed tons of classes or I had a foreign professor who didn’t understand my disabilities, that kind of thing. I would guess that if I asked her to help me set up this kind of an arrangement she would-- my professors would be in contact with her, and her with either myself or my parents. Perhaps the disabilities office would be willing to work with you somehow on this. That seems more likely than putting you directly into contact with his professors, and then professors might be more willing to discuss the issues you are worried about. Or perhaps, if he is able to handle it, he could have a person in the disabilities office that he is responsible for handing in graded work to so that information can be shared with you. Even if my university didn’t hire someone specifically for these kinds of things, I would be willing to bet someone in the office would be willing to help somehow. The program at my school is not known for being particularly good at caring for students with asperger’s, in fact quite the opposite, but sometimes there is some wiggle room that allows you to get what you need anyway if you can just talk to the right person. Maybe it’s the same at your S’s school.</p>
<p>And an idea here that is kind of out of left field, if you have copies of his syllabi and know he should be getting assignments back, if you set him up with a scanner in his room you can look at the syllabus to see what you should be getting from him and ask for it. What with my chronic illness, I often have to use a scanner to email professors my assignments-- and I use it to email medical paperwork home to my parents. That doesn’t really help with exams he may not be allowed to keep or with attendance issues, but may be better than nothing. You could even request class notes to see if he went. If he completely fell off the map, you’d have some idea. Better than nothing.</p>
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<p>LOL, I’m pretty sure that I’d have to take a substantial pay cut if I missed that much work, but believe me, after the latest college fiasco, I considered it!</p>
<p>We meet with the disabilities office next week. Son put in a written rquest for a meeting 3-4 weeks ago but they told him he didn’t need one. So I sent him back today to insist on one. I’m also going to have him make a written request for an academic advisor.</p>
<p>I’ve only had one school year, plus a summer, with Son in college, but I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with platitudes from schools about wanting every student to be a success. I guess I’d like a Nobel Prize and Olympic Gold medal, but I’m not doing a thing toward those goals…same thing with colleges saying they want students to succeed. All talk.</p>
<p>You’ve got to realize where I’m coming from and what kid I have. I have the kid on the autism spectrum…the LAST kid the prof would want to chat with after class or have over to dinner, the last kid who would be missed if he never returned to class. At best, the invisible kid. At worst, the kid you want to avoid. It’s not surprising that no one from either school has shown a shred of interest in my son, but it’s heartbreaking nonetheless.</p>
<p>I did not read this whole thread, but I wanted to chime in about the e-mail. At our college, we can only send grade information to the student’s campus e-mail because of FERPA. In the beginning we were not allowed to send anything by e-mail. We also cannot discuss anything on the phone because there is no way to tell who it is you are talking to. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, I do not figure grades every week. Our students get an accommodations form from our disability support office. The form tells us what we need to do as instructors to help the student be successful, but I do not think a weekly grade report would ever be a part of that (and I am not trying to be a smart a$$). MY heart goes out to you, missypie. I hope things work out.</p>
<p>A major difference between high school in college is that often there is no grade to calculate week to week. In some classes the entire grade can be determined from one or two major assignments, so there is no weekly update to even report. (And not all professors take attendance). </p>
<p>I had to ask my professors to fill out a form with my midterm grades… once. </p>
<p>Thankfully, they all filled out my form (with varying degrees of reluctance), but none of them that semester had any clue what my grade was before I explicitly asked them. I am under the impression that while some of them kept a “running tally” of my grades on major assignments, most of them did not actually calculate the grades until the end of the term. It was bad enough asking once… I couldn’t imagine asking once a week. </p>
<p>Does the college use a “course management system” like Blackboard? Blackboard has an online grade book, which a few (but not many) of my professors have kept updated throughout the course. I guess the trick would be to find out which professors (if any) use an online gradebook…</p>
<p>At the begining of every semester i have to geve my professors a piece of paper that states my accomidations on it. My thought is, why not just add it to it? It shouldn’t be THAT much of a problem, and some professors may be willing to do it.</p>
<p>Another thought, why not just ask him to get the test scores and such and give them to you so you could track them?</p>
<p>Icedragon, professors aren’t legally permitted to provide additional accommodations to a student by private negotiation in addition to those outlined on the accommodations form. The Disabilities Services office on campus determines, in conjunction with the student, what accommodations are reasonable in order to ensure that all students are complying with the basic requirements of the course and the university. Professors aren’t experts on learning disabilities and can’t be expected to know when an accommodation is reasonable (i.e. it helps the student succeed in fulfilling the course requirements without compromising necessary expectations) or unreasonable (i.e. it’s an unfair advantage that permits the student to get out of things that other students are expected to do).</p>
<p>Here is another suggestion if your son has not been able to communicate this request to his professors. </p>
<p>Sit down with your son and review the syllabus for each class. Get a large calendar and help him to organize the assigned reading and studying. It is usually pretty easy to figure out when exams will be based on the assignments. Will your son study on his own without proding? He will probably do very well once a system of organization is in place and he is able to see what he needs to do on a daily basis.</p>
<p>I can feel for you and understand your frustration but I still think that the way to go is to have your son deal with each professor through e-mail. I would think at the very least he should hear back from them regarding their position with this. I have a feeling that he will get some positive feedback because I do believe that most people in the teaching profession want to see students make it.</p>
<p>We do that, but the class he failed over the summer didn’t have a syllabus. He asked and the teacher said that students never look at them anyway. We made him email the teacher twice to ask about his grade. The first response was “B”. The second response was “I don’t know.”</p>
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<p>They want the engaging kids to make it. They want the attractive, witty kids to make it. The overweight boy who comes to class and sits down and doesn’t make eye contact with anyone…they don’t even know he’s there, much less care if he makes it. I totally “get” why teachers don’t warm to autistic students … the vast majority of the citizens of the world don’t warm to autistic people…but I still think he deserves to be able to earn a college degree.</p>
<p>Missypie…many people do because we enjoy the honesty that comes with being on the spectrum. It is by far the most difficult of disabilties to live with because people just don’t understand it or are unfamiliar with the spectrum. It almost seems like life is easier for kids who have obvious physical features or behaviors. </p>
<p>Your son needs that one special someone at his school that will take a real interest in him as a person. Could you help your son draft a letter to his profs that describe who he is as a person and how much he wants to succeed in achieving his degree. Maybe the letter could state how helpful it would be to have a syllubus that clearly defines the scope of the course and asking for the approximate dates of tests based upon the covered material. It does not seem like a huge request and I think if the letter comes from your son he will surely not be invisable to most people. I wish the world were a kinder and gentler place for all people but I know it is not. Please try drafting the letter with your son and see how it goes.</p>