<p>Thanks everyone for your support. Hopefully there will be good news in the end. Meanwhile, I’d like to believe something like this happens for a reason. Definitely a life lesson for an uber-achiever… I’d like to believe every setback we experience today helps us prepare for greater success tomorrow.</p>
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<p>I agree, and I think it is well accepted among CCers that this is how each new class is assembled at top boarding schools. </p>
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<p>I think you’re spot on. Regardless of dollar figures, FA is an FA, and those who ask for FA put themselves in at least twice more competitive pool.</p>
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<p>How naive I was! FA web pages from PEA, SPS and Hotchkiss gave me a false impression that a middle class family like us would be expected to contribute about $20-25K a year. Now I doubt how representative those figures were.</p>
<p>In my humble opinion and having gone through this process several times I think schools do try to create a specific atmosphere or environment with each class and may make admissions based on that criteria, whatever it is. Like Etondad said in an earlier post, trying to figure out admissions decisions will cause you to lose your mind.</p>
<p>but if you have the capacity to renogotiate your finances to contemplate 4 years of full pay, I think most schools expect you to make those changes ~ however “drastic.”
How naive I was! FA web pages from PEA, SPS and Hotchkiss gave me a false impression that a middle class family like us would be expected to contribute about $20-25K a year. Now I doubt how representative those figures were. </p>
<p>If I win the lottery, I would set up a gap scholarship program. There is a chasm between that $75,000 to $80,000 full ride threshold and the ability to pay full tuition. Many great kids fall through that “crack.”</p>
<p>We too were totally misled by the FA calculators on the web pages of some schools. We really thought - based on those - that we would end up paying about 25K. We too filled out the 'how much can you contribute" form with those figures in mind. At the schools to which my son was denied or waitlisted, we can only wonder if the aid request was the reason. </p>
<p>Thankfully, some schools just ignored our silly “FA optimism” and offered an acceptance - on the condition that we fork over full tuition, of course. If we had to do over, would we have saved the agonizing by just leaving that ‘need FA’ check box blank? I don’t know if I could, even now, bring myself to not check it!</p>
<p>As Payn4ward said in the benefactress aunt thread - it is not “beans and rice” anymore, it is now “beans or rice”. Love that! Yes we have joined the group of CC parents who have thrown caution and their retirement funds to the wind. You will know us at parent weekend: we are the ones in the thrift store clothes hoarding the hors d’oeuvres.</p>
<p>There certainly is a crack, and it’s a middle class dilemma. To afford excellent education, one better be either very rich or very poor. FA initiatives at many Ivy League colleges address this gap, asking for 10% of income up to $200K household income. Sadly, that is not yet the case with these boarding schools.</p>
<p>@SharingGift, no doubt BS is a huge challenge for all but the most affluent (incomes of over $200K). That said, many BSs do provide at least comparable aid to colleges, and even more to avoid loans before college. </p>
<p>Boarding school can be fabulous opportunity (but maybe not the only…) and it can be worth the effort to find the place you love that will love you back enough to make it manageable. I urge you to keep looking, and don’t assume it is beyond your means. It really isn’t always. We needed substantial aid and got it. But we had to do some serious research and soul-searching about priorities (financial and academic) first.</p>
<p>I like the idea of a gap fund for middle class families. We all want the best for our children, but the rice or beans analogy described it beautifully. On the other hand, the wealthy aside, I was once a scholarship kid and I realized someone had to make a sacrifice or donate so I could attend Exeter as the first in both side of my family. So even with the weight of tuition bills for two kids we try to put something towards a scholarship fund at high school and college to support the next person who needs a hand.</p>
<p>Still - when I compare my tuition at Exeter and MIT (low 4 digits) to the mid five digit tuition numbers I’m seeing now I wonder how our children will fare given the debt load they’ll leave college with. Salaries haven’t kept up in any way or shape with those increases.</p>
<p>I’ve posted on this a bit over the years, but D was in this position a few years ago. BS aid does not work the same as college aid, something we learned after the fact. She was WL due to aid at two schools (applied to 3 total) and did not make it off either WL. </p>
<p>What she did do was thoroughly enjoy her friends at home, worked hard, attended a couple of interesting programs that we could not have afforded if she had gone to BS, graduated as Val of her class and is now about to graduate from an Ivy, having studied abroad twice and will begin a job in the non-profit arena that she is thrilled about. She’s able to do this because she has no student loans. </p>
<p>Yes, it’s a blow, but it doesn’t mean you can’t “make lemonade” and a hard working student can find other opportunities if BS doesn’t work out. Had we gone into debt over BS, due to other life events that came afterwards, D’s choices as to which college to attend and what line of work to go into would have been narrowed. I hope it works out for your child, just wanted to mention that if it does not, you might have prepared the ground for more opportunities later.</p>
<p>We are also in the same predicament. My daughter really wants to go to BS so we applied to many schools and, after the dust settled we have: One admission and six wait lists: the school who accepted her is not giving any FA. Her public HS is not a viable option (at list not for the next 4 yrs). We are hoping like you that due to the number of WL one of them will come thru with FA. No matter how disappointed she may be, I am struggling with idea of finding $200k when my oldest is starting college in the fall, and my second next year. She has showned realistic attitudethroughout the decision process and I am not sure how she really feels. In any case there’s always next year.</p>
<p>+1 lefthandofdog. In the emotional aftermath of M9/10, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that BS is an option, not a necessity. Your daughter’s story is a perfect example of how plan B served her exceptionally well. I’m sure there are no regrets in your family even if there might have been dissappointment at first. I know I can construct a long list of benefits to a BS education, but I am unable to clearly define the downside of not providing my child with this experience when I am quite sure that no matter how he were to be educated, he would still be a lovely human being and a productive member of society. Thanks for sharing your story. It provides a nice perspective here.</p>
<p>Also love lefthanddog’s story of how rich the other path can be. We have a son in bs on generous scholarship and another headed down a different path, off to spend his second year in high school studying in Europe. One year of AFS tuition–with only a teensy bit of merit aid–is much easier to swallow after three years of bs! What he’ll do after that is up in the air, but there are many options, most of them–like dual enrollment mixed in with high school courses–free or low cost.</p>
<p>When you’ve spent so much time with your head in the boarding school application bubble, it’s sometimes hard to see all the other interesting options floating around out there!</p>
<p>lefthandofdog, thanks for sharing your story. The choice your D made seems to be paying off beyond making lemonade. I believe it will inspire many among us.</p>
<p>After two months of hiatus, I’m returning to CC. Not that DD got off WL. But we’ll be trying again for 10th grade. So at this point, I’m not planning to disclose too much about DD. Sorry. </p>
<p>Talked with several AOs, which helped me appreciate their selection processes and learn a lesson or two. For one, we won’t check the small square box next to FA. Published numbers for % students on FA can be misleading because students with FA offer tend to enroll and those without tend to enroll else where. The published numbers are the numbers after all these things are sorted out, so they are bound to be higher than the % new students who are offered FA. One AO told me that those without clear advantage (or hook in the name of sports, race, music, geography, legacy, etc.) restrict themselves into one half of the entire admission pool, and that about 10% of those admitted students got FA offer. Their published %FA was >35%. I was further told that DD would have been admitted without FAA. And I had essentially the same message from other AOs. </p>
<p>Another lesson was being passionate about the things she cared and good at them was not enough, at least in her case. Among many of her accomplishments, DD had 4.0 ever since she can remember and 800 in SAT critical reading (>2000 overall) in her 7th grade, which probably didn’t mean too much in admission process, but demonstrated that she had intellectual horsepower enough for anywhere she’d go. In addition to many, many years of music training with multiple instruments (alas, they did not include underwater oboe), she has been extraordinarily passionate about writing and art, winning scholastic awards. Without committing the risk of disclosing too much, I would say DD had at least several EC activities and accomplishments that anyone can be proud of. One area where we could have done better is to pick one or two ECs and present them more effectively. This is more of an issue related to perception than reality, but such a strategy could have helped her look more focused and more passionate. </p>
<p>Anyway, thank you all for reading this thread and showing your support. We’re moving on with our life, looking forward to fun and busy summer, and trying not to think too much about BS until September.</p>
<p>Sharing, can you clarify what you mean in your second paragraph – I didn’t quite understand what you meant about the hook. Are you saying that half the applicants have a hook and half don’t, and if you fall into the half with no hook, then financial aid is quite scarce for those candidates?</p>
<p>I think the fact that your DD had an 800 on a 7th grade SAT (which would make her CTY SET…i.e., an “exceptional talent”) should be a red flag to future applicants who think that just being a smart cookie is enough to make one stand out. </p>
<p>Your daughter was more than a smart cookie, and yet didn’t have any acceptances…that should sober some folks up right quick. Thanks for updating and good luck next cycle. I’ll be along for this one with 7Daughter the younger.</p>
<p>True, there are parents who choke when it is time to write that first BIG check in the summer… DS has a friend who applied for FA and was WL’d. During the summer, the school offered him a spot w/o FA. </p>
<p>If u are willing to reapply this fall w/o FA, then it is worth it to contact the present WL’d schools and inform them that you are willing to enroll w/o FA now.</p>
<p>soxmom, yes, that’s what I meant. This may sound like a cliche but boarding schools are in general trying to build a community of diverse talents, interests and background. I think a hook is no more than a quality an applicant possesses that a particular boarding school desires for a particular year. Unless a school is willing to be humiliated by its rival school in a football game or embarrassed in front of packed parents with a cacophonous orchestra , its needs to fill sports, orchestra or whatever EC it values are very real. I believe this trumps academic ability over and over in many places. I don’t think they want to fill the entire class with brainiacs, nor I think such is desirable. After all, BSs are not gifted schools. And they have no problem attracting smart kids with A averages. Most of the times, that’s more than enough.</p>
<p>I guess I’m digressing but reading yours and 7Dad’s post, things got all mixed up in my head. Anyway, hopefully you get the idea.</p>
<p>pwalsh & GMT, I’m aware of that and if it happens, that would be fantastic! But not counting on it. We just need to move on and live a life. Let me be surprised:)</p>