<p>Bobwallace, we can’t presume on how people handle money. The parents may not be able to scrape up the money because of the way they live and spend.</p>
<p>Her parents are going through a foreclosure right now. They are not going to get a PLUS loan. </p>
<p>If it comes down to a 2k difference or so where it means niece going or not going to school, I will pay it. We are not rich and I have my own S starting school this fall but will figure out a way to do it.</p>
<p>CC is great. I went to CC (the same one niece would go to) and went on to get my BA. I just know this family and if niece does not go away to a 4 year right after graduation, the odds are 99% against her completing a BA, at least before she’s in her 30s. </p>
<p>Sybbie, I appreciate your post about not spending other people’s money. I just can’t post what I’d like to say in response. </p>
<p>I am just going to wait and see her SAT scores - only two more weeks to go.</p>
<p>We are not talking a $2K gap. We are talking a lot more than that and for 4 years. If she got into Harvard, she’d probably be charged 10% of family income. If she got the full ride XYZ award, she’d have nothing to pay. But they are all long shots. You want a plan in place for if she does not get any aid that calls for a review process with a lot of competition. She does not have the numbers for a good chance at the top awards. Most of them are numbers driven and cut with test scores. Take a look at these boards and you’ll see the competition. Even with straight A’s , many communtiy, local colleges want full pay or have a small token award. </p>
<p>Bottom line, she may get something, but prepare in case she does not.</p>
<p>Nothing has to be decided until we get the June test scores - and there’s always early fall scores, too. </p>
<p>She’s not applying to Harvard and I don’t think she’ll get a full ride anywhere. I am planning for a school where she will have to pay room/board/fees and looking for the best option of that. If it doesn’t happen we’ll come up with Plan B. </p>
<p>Believe me, I get a whole lot of how this works, having gone through it this year with my own S. I also know there’s a lot whole more I need to learn, especially when it comes to medical programs. </p>
<p>I’ll update when she gets her SAT scores.</p>
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<p>I’m sure you’re right, I just can’t fathom a high income family that can’t commit 4% of their income for a kid’s college.</p>
<p>They are so far behind that they are hit every direction with immediate consequences if they don’t pay this, that or the other. I feel that way right now as things seem to be falling apart in my home all at the same time. If we had back bills with creditors after us as well, it would be crazy… I know people who live like this all of the time, and the only way anyone, including their kids can money out of them is to be first in line when the check is cashed. So, getting $2K out of them during the year is possible only by being right there and getting it from them in increments and immediately when any money comes into the house. Even with the best of intentions, gathering up that kind of money when you are so far behind, is difficult. There may never be a balance of $2K in the checking account.</p>
<p>Remember that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Is either one of the parents your siblings or are they your in-laws?</p>
<p>Unless you are the sibling of one of the parents, even then unless you have a good relationship with that sibling and they have asked for your assistance, I would tread very lightly. People, even family members can be very funny or defensive when they think that you are passing judgement on how they live or how they are raising their children. </p>
<p>If you are the sibling of neither of the parents, this would mean that either mom or dad is the sibling of your husband, what is his take on this? How does he feel about your intervening?</p>
<p>No matter how well meaning you are trying to be, this could potentially blow up in your face, and you could be viewed as an “outsider” trying to get into their business. Since you cannot make this decision in a vacuum, how does your spouse feel about you taking this on?</p>
<p>You wrote about your nephew:
</p>
<p>Are you also willing to assist this child, if he is looking for a way to turn things around; go to community college or vocational school?</p>
<p>As a person with a lot of siblings (9) there are things that I don’t get involved in or give advice unless asked. I also try to treat my nieces and nephews fairly and equitably (if not equally) as it can cause a riff in the family.</p>
<p>My husband and are on the same page regarding this niece. He just doesn’t know what needs to be done. His sister (niece’s mother) thinks they have a lot of time because college doesn’t start until next year - she’ll “worry about it next summer”. SIL says she is happy for the help but it’s the BIL who is the road block here. No one helped him in anyway so his kids have to do it on their own, too. </p>
<p>If my nephew had any type of desire to attend CC then yes, I would pay for school if that meant the difference going and not going. Unfortunately, he wants nothing to do with school in the immediate future and I think if I were to push it, he’s sign up and not attend seeing as he had no buy-in of any sort. With niece, if it come to it, we will probably tell her we’ll loan her the $ but forgive it at graduation. I don’t think it’s unfair to give a little more - be it time, money, etc - to a child who has put forth the effort into her school work.</p>
<p>I think you’re a very good aunt, and I hope one of the scholarship options comes through for your niece. </p>
<p>My family had chaotic finances, and it was a soul-sucking, gut wrenching experience when I was in college (and before), but at least I went to college in a time when it was possible to pay your own way through the UC system.</p>