@KarenK99, hahah thanks. (I actually have five kids, but went through it twice for one of them!).
I think what you’re saying - a difference of a few thousand might be expected but not significantly more - is usually true. But I still think there are occasionally nice surprises, particularly if a) you have need combined with b) they really want you. This is a need-merit grant, or in other words, a merit grant that is given to those in need.
You can’t predict if they’ll really want you, though, until they really want you. So I always advise folks to apply for a few financial reaches. Be sure you are clear to your kid that they have two hurdles–getting in and affording it.
I’ve said this before, but a while back my older D got into her dream school, RISD, and though we had an EFC then of literally 0, she got only a Pell Grant (which is a very small amount), and nothing else, only an offer to borrow money. You might say, "Oh well RISD probably didn’t give money to anyone, " but that’s not true; I happened to know another girl who got very significant need/merit grant that same year. They just wanted that girl more than my D. You can’t predict this beforehand. And I don’t mean anything against RISD by the way. Any school is entitled to want who they want. Some schools just don’t have the wherewithal to give a lot of grant money.
Also, remember that you can also use one offer to negotiate with another school. I know several people who’ve done this successfully. For instance, School B gives you $25K grant. School A is your kid’s dream school; but it is giving no money. You can use School B’s offer to negotiate with School A. They will sometimes match. Again I’ve seen this happen. It depends again on how much they want you. And some schools will also give you more if you appeal the decision on its own merit, not by comparing. This happened to my D, who got a generous offer from a top school, but not quite generous enough. She appealed - we actually didn’t submit any additional financial pieces, just appealed - and they met as a board, and granted additional money. They were very kind about it too.
Finally you can also appeal on a financial basis if you have a special case, e.g. high medical bills, and of course any financial change of circumstance.
So after this long rambling answer, bottom line is: Usually it’s generally correct,but sometimes there are outliers. Because of this, I’d recommend applying to 2 schools or so as financial reaches.