“Fully financially supporting our parents (who do not live with us)” is not the same as having additional dependents from a financial aid perspective.
Paying private school tuition is a sacrifice, not a necessary expense in most situations. Might be a bit similar to a decision to buy an expensive new car or SUV versus buying a more modestly priced vehicle = it is a choice regarding how to use one’s resources.
Many high income families elect to buy a home in an area with strong public schools. The cost of the high quality public schools is “hidden” in the property value & in the property taxes.
You will not be offered financial aid. In the case of applying for private day school, safest in your situation to apply without requesting aid.
You say that you are fairly recent immigrants. In the US, the quality of public education varies, but in virtually every city, there is at least one area where highly educated professionals who value education for their children tend to buy homes. The public schools in these areas are usually good, and often best at the high school level, with the high schools offering many honors and AP level classes that the motivated students self-sort into. If your child does well there, they would have a very good chance of getting admitted to a highly competitive college, where, by the way, they will not be offered financial aid, either.
Right now, full fare at a private college is about 80K/yr. You have to plan for that, or plan on the kids attending your state’s flagship U, for about 30-35K/yr. The money spent on private high school for the kids might be better spent on buying a house (which will surely increase in value) in an area with an excellent public high school.
If you had limitless resources, sure, an excellent private day school or prestigious boarding school offers, aside from a superior education, the chance to make social connections with the children of the rich and powerful. But you’re planning on spending as much as 1.5 million total on two kids’ private high school and private college, and for every dollar you spend, you have to earn two, since at your income level, the marginal tax rate, between federal, state, and local, is probably about 50%. So essentially, you have to earn 3 million to pay for their educations. Is private high school really worth that much? Three years of your total income?
$1.5 million seems a bit high for 8 years of private day school ($320,000) & 8 years of private college ($640,000). Seems that almost $1 million would be a better estimate.
Better to consider the cost as a certain amount per year which could be as high as $160,000 if both are full-pay at private colleges during the same year. Otherwise, it will be about $120,000 if one is at a private day school while the other is in college or $80,000 for any year during which both are enrolled in private day schools. All should be doable on $500,000 a year income if education is a high priority & income level is consistent.
Sure, it’s doable. Question is, is it worth it? For most people, a good public high school followed by a good flagship in-state is totally fine for whatever they want to do in life. That would wind up costing the parents about 120-140K/child, without merit money, which the child could easily earn.
If it is a 2 income family, they would net a lot more by sticking with whatever jobs are paying them $500,000 vs quitting one to work at the day school for a tuition discount.
And I had the same questions as an earlier poster - how are you going to afford college if you can’t afford HS?
There are plenty of us out here (maybe not on this forum), who are hoping to afford college with large help from merit aid, as we are in that economic class where we won’t qualify for any federal aid, but don’t have much disposable income. And what most colleges think we should be able to contribute according to their need based calculators is only doable for two years from what we have saved since our kids were born. Now we’re just crossing our fingers.
Agree. This can be true of some families since making over an “x” amount of income is not always as straightforward as it seems. One parent may have been unemployed and in grad school for several years and then upon graduation, saw a jump in combined income when they started working again. They might not have a lot saved up or invested yet if this income level is “new” to them. They might not live in the “great neighborhood with the amazing public schools” and view private school as the best option for their kids in their situation as it currently is.
I do my best to try not to judge and just offer some advice for the question asked.
We all certainly have our own individual situations, but as someone who makes about $400,000 LESS than the OP, it is hard for me to understand how someone in the 1% (I am not specifically referring to the OP) has not been able to save a decent amount for college and/or keep their expenses on the relatively lower side.
At our income (in a HCOL area), we were able to save for retirement and college. Those were the priorities. So no huge house, no expensive (or even new) cars, no private HS, kept expenses low, etc. (We have one more semester to save for.) So it is hard for me to imagine how someone who makes $500,000 could not do the same.
I am sure it is possible, just hard for me at my income level to imagine. I can only dream of making that kind of money
I totally agree. I am trying not to judge. Maybe they live in an extremely high cost of living area, maybe they have huge student loans, who knows. But as a recipient of generous financial aid from a boarding school, we are paying a very fair amount that is still a bit of a challenge for us. I have a hard time imagining thinking of asking for financial aid if I made 500k a year. If we made that much, compared to what we make, we could pay cash for both kids full tuition anywhere they wanted to go. We make waaay less and my spouse was getting his phd for 5+ years in a town where there were no jobs for me and we had two small children. Then after he got a job it took me 3 years to get a decent job in my field. Our retirement and college savings took a backseat. And now I can’t imagine having to try to pay what colleges expect us to afford. Sell our modest home and move into a tiny old run down home, get rid of our phones? We already don’t go on vacations. It stresses me to think about how we will do this.
This is such a rich benefit, though, that it’s not usually available from day one of starting to work at the school. At the school I’m most familiar with, you had to work there for 5 years before you were eligible for free tuition.
I think potentially you need to broaden your definition of “we.” For middle-income families, the keys to affording college are one, college choice, and two, student work to make some money during summers and even the school year. In other words, “we” needs to include the student, who has to make a financially responsible college choice and help out by earning some money to pay for it. So, no matter the high school, consider state schools in your state of residence; additionally, target good private schools that offer considerable merit aid to strong students. I think they are out there.
The original post says they support other family members in another country. That is often the case of immigrants new to the US and the US financial aid system. Schools do not consider that obligation when giving out FA. A family often has to make a choice of supporting the family members or choosing private school (day school, boarding school, college).
Those are personal financial choices. Even the parents having large student loans they need to repay is usually not considered. The main considerations for FA are income and assets. Some schools do consider medical costs the family has to pay or the care of a child with special needs, but usually don’t consider other debt or obligations (the support of other family members).
There are public schools, much cheaper ‘day’ private schools like Regis in NYC, magnet or charter schools that may appeal to the learning style of the student. Lots of choices.
I understand the OP’s question. The family has already allocated much of its income to what are viewed as necessities or high priorities, leaving not enough discretionary income for BS. Realistically, few families have $60,000 “left over”.
But OP, the answers are also on target. Your family will need to reprioritize and consider what matters most. Is it caring for elderly parents, living close to those high paying jobs, saving for college and retirement, having late model cars, taking vacations, supporting a sibling with special needs, membership at a club, etc.
Some families live in school districts with high taxes and excellent public schools, making that an option… If the LPS is a bad fit - and sometimes it is, even in a prestigious district - is moving to a cheaper district worth it to lower housing costs and taxes? I’ve known people to do this, but it also assumes that they are indifferent to location. This is really about choices. It may be better to pay for BS and let college chips fall where they may --again, I have known families who have chosen this…
But do this with your eyes wide open.
Overall, you are unlikely to make a good case for FA at that income level. Also remember that schools use their FA strategically. Would you be bringing something so unique to the community that they could not get it without subsidizing you?
The cost of college for us will not be much different than 2 schools (these are expensive schools), and the plan is to afford college by combination of (1) appreciation of what we currently have in 529s (2) merit scholarship / possibility of being a recruited athlete (3) cash flow as we’ll continue to work (we are in early 40s now)
I’m rather new to these realities and not sure I fully understand your question. One of the kids is in sports academy - many of their student end up on D1 college teams (he is still in middle school so early to say how it will shake up)
Her point was to make you aware that athletic scholarships are only available at D1 (except Ivy League) and that full scholarships at those colleges are only available for headcount sports - Football, Basketball, Tennis, Gymnastics, and Volleyball (and full scholarships for the last 3 are for women only). Otherwise, counting on athletic scholarships to pay for college should not be the central strategy.
