<p>"If FAFSA says our EFC is more than the cost of his tuition, why can't we afford it? "</p>
<p>Amen. This comes up every year when new people fill out the FAFSA and then wander here to CC, still glassy-eyed in disbelief. I'm grateful for everything that makes us look like Donald Trump when we complete the FAFSA, but there's a far cry from what they SAY we can pay vs. our monthly outlook after paying bills.....</p>
<p>Our EFC was over four times tuition and fees. So I don't bother filling out FAFSA forms anymore even thought the college sends emails to our son suggesting that there may be financial aid available.</p>
<p>On asset allocation, sometimes that includes commodities or shorting. One of the reasons why I don't like 529s in that you have less choice in your ability to manage resources.</p>
<p>Our son has always been engaged in the financial side of our decisions from the early teenage years. He knows how hard it is to make money and keep it as he can see what I do in the income department and he sees how frustrating it can be. He also sees the times when things are really good.</p>
<p>Fwiw, while the PRIMARY responsibility of financing an undergraduate educations rests with the parents, it is NOT exclusive. Most schools expect the students to contribute to their education by working during the year, and especially during the summer. Inasmuch as this is typically part of financial aid and its self-help component, nothing precludes a student whose family EFC exceeds the COA to contribute in the same manner. </p>
<p>Further, if working is not feasible nor recommended, having the student borrowing a portion of his own education should not be ignored, especially when there are multiple siblings. </p>
<p>In a way, parents tend to complain about their children not understanding the "world" and avoiding taking real responsibilities, but do not realize that they are contributing to the problem by making it simply too ... easy! </p>
<p>PS Here's a book that, although not being germane to this discussion, should be a must read for parents and the ... students.</p>
<p>[url=<a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26317942/%5DDude">http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26317942/]Dude</a>! Why guys aren</p>
<p>I look in the mirror when these things happen, and want to see who is to blame, Xiggi. You are absolutely right.</p>
<p>Haven't read the book myself, but reading the article (very well done - makes me want to buy the book) you'd think that this was some new phenomenom, but my memory says while the lexicon has changed over the years, the middle-class male struggle with maturity described has been the same for a long time. I think it is probably better publicized as the media is more tuned to this type of stuff than it used to be. And likewise, I think our culture has become desensitized to so many things now that this stuff has become the mainstream of publishing. Generations back, this was stuff that was known but not talked about in polite company, much less in the mainstream media.</p>
<p>Getting back on topic, I sense that my children (both male and female) are struggling with the idea of what we are doing for them to prepare them for the world (and how much it costs). While I tell them that they should be enjoying this part of their lives, I try to reinforce the responsibility of making the most of the opportunities presented and treating the resources spent acquiring these opportunities as very limited resources. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, with my Aspie son, this is more difficult than with most. Goaliegirl struggles with the conflicts of an entitled peerage at boarding school (future members of Guyland and Girlland - if such a parallel universe exists) and the expectation of parental units. This, her Junior year, will tell a lot of whether she falls into the "it's all good" excuse for suboptimal results or whether she is prepared to be her own person and step it up (both academically and athletically) and go after the things she tells me she wants for herself.</p>
<p>Perhaps she needs to read about Guyland and make her own assessment of where she wants to be...</p>
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<blockquote> <p>There is another lesson here - asset allocation. As you get closer to needing the money you are saving you must move it to more conservative investments. The OP did not do this (they left it in the market) and they got burned.<<</p> </blockquote>
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<p>I absolutely agree, but I also know that 529 programs can be tricky when it comes to moving assets around. Some have restrictions on how many times you can re-allocate your $$, some have restrictions on what kind of portfolios you can invest in, etc. I've never used them because I like to have complete freedom to move money around as I see fit and when I first looked at them, the fees seemed high.</p>
<p>I agree with Sax about applying to a variety of schools when it comes to merit aid. We had the same outcome--highly ranked privates costing $45,000 per year to offers of full tuition at in-state public. In March or April, once everything has been received and what the final cost of each school would be, our very smart D realized that she could go to a great school on a full-tuition scholarship, and use all of her college savings on grad school--at least she HAD the opportunity to make that decision--if your son does not apply to schools that offer good merit aid, he won't be able to make that decision--if he is as smart as you say he is, it only makes logiical sense to give yourself plenty of possible outcomes.</p>
<p>I started this thread to share my communications with my son, as opposed to a referendum on proper money management practices. For some, yanking money out of the market makes sense. For others, when college costs rise 10% a year or more, yanking money out of market would leave us far behind for the far end of our tuition obligations. So some has come out, some has stayed. We're still behind, and anyone else who isn't is a genius who should have a TV show or something.</p>
<p>As to raising "men" as the story references, it's an interesting article but doesn't describe either of my two at all. Video games and drinking not how they spend their time. Each worked f/t this summer because they wanted to. My discussion with S was timed in a way that was right for us. Too much earlier and it wouldn't have had relevance; too much later and it would have had a negative impact. Also, an earlier discussion assumes that spouse and I had the information then that we do now. While some of you were apparently preparing yourselves, financially and otherwise, for your kids' futures, and having open and honest discussions with them about money and the future (when? Age 10? 12? 14?) and studying up on college expenses, merit aid and the like, my spouse and I were busy focusing on the here and now for our kids at whatever stage they happened to be. Plain and simple, they were not ready to hear it before now, and we did not know enough to have the conversation we just had. What we did was focus on stashing away as much money as we could while living in the moment with our kids. I think the way they have turned out so far shows the decision was the right one for us.</p>
<p>Yes, most of the Guyland talk was OT, although it does point out an often aimless part of a certain segment of "entitled" (upper-middle class) kids who have had the best of opportunities presented to them (college paid for by parents without staggering amount of student loans) and have put it to little (or no) use (able to work meanial jobs and not be burdened).</p>
<p>Even without the partying et al, we parents have to be mindful that our kids do need to find a direction, lest we enable the slacker lifestyle (at considerable expense to us). </p>
<p>To that end, having the discussion of the opportunity costs of spending your college savings on undergrad vs. graduate education is valuable in defeating that entitlement notion that there is always more. I think you have done well in doing this.</p>