<p>They leave as fledgling young adults as they go to College.</p>
<p>As they return home for the first time for Thanksgiving, they have obviously done some major independent living and growing up.</p>
<p>What has been your experience with the first visit home???</p>
<p>Ask them, as you might request of a house guest to PLEASE remember that everyone else in the house continues to live the life of a non-college student so please conduct yourself accordingly! :-)</p>
<p>ie. no banging dishes at 1 in the morning when you know that certain people (parents) need to be up at 5:00 am to go to work!</p>
<p>OR ELSE, the collective we might feel likewise obliged to, oh i don’t know, run the vacuum right outside your bedroom door at 8:00 AM on Saturday! </p>
<p>LOL!!!</p>
<p>My son came home at Fall Break…we noticed all of his dirty cloths during the stay made it into the hamper versus piled on the floor (pre-college)…when asked he said yea, he found that it was neater that way…</p>
<p>…“While you may be IN college, you arenot AT college…”</p>
<p>Mostly I was wondering about how the dynamics of the parent/child relationship change when the child no longer is one.</p>
<p>Curfew is the one issue I know most parents face an issue with. Thankfully, when D came home a few weekends ago she was too tired to stay out too late. She was in bed before we were :)</p>
<p>I think the main ground rule we had to establish was “it is a courtesy and expectation for you to let us know where you are.” For my DD, this wasn’t an out late at night thing but that she would head out for a long training ride and not let me know (and I am really neurotic about her cycling already). It wasn’t until her first summer home that we had to have discussions about curfews, drinking, etc. She was such an introvert in high school that she never went out, so for us it was really uncharted territory. We tried to pick a small number of rules that were most important to us and didn’t allow any negotiation about those. We learned to relax a little about some of the smaller issues (like keeping her room clean – I just learned to close the door).</p>
<p>I just wanted to know whether to expect her to still cuddle with me while we watch movies on TV!</p>
<p>All y’all are scaring me! Lol</p>
<p>We had to remind our son that we would be waking him for lunch… :)</p>
<p>really, you just want them to be a nice addition to the family when they come home. they should help out when asked, let you know what their plans are (so you know how many to make dinner for) etc… it would be nice if they checked with you before they made other plans in case you already had something in mind.</p>
<p>mine likes to help out at home when she is here. she likes to help with the christmas tree and cooking. one year she wanted us to make a thanksgiving dinner here (we never have it at our house), so we did that. she likes to piddle in the kitchen and she doesn’t get to do that much at school.</p>
<p>as far as keeping their room clean … let that slide. not a big deal. just make them clean it up before they leave.</p>
<p>TXArchitect: She will. :)</p>
<p>With our oldest, I remember being disappointed because he spent almost all his time home being out with friends from high school (or it at least seemed that way). I was better prepared for our middle child by having adjusted our expectations. Our Bama daughter is more of a homebody so it hasn’t been as much of an issue.</p>
<p>My D picked up right where she left off. She acted pretty much the same as she did before she left. She still told us where she was going whenever she went out, got home at a decent hour, let us know her plans, etc. Of course, she still threw her laundry down the chute for the laundry fairy to do, too. I guess some things never change.</p>
<p>Never had issues when my oldest came home from Bama, which was rare. He knew he was part of a family, and there were expectations. Each morning, I would leave a note what I needed him to do – usually some laundry or cleaning the bathrooms, etc., and he did it. He knew this made my life a little easier. We’ll see what happens next fall when the younger son goes to college.</p>
<p>TXArchitect…absolutely. My husband laughs because my D actually talks to me more now that she is in college than she did in HS. She literally talks my ear off about EVERYTHING…Hubby calls it ‘uploading’. she has to get everything out and we just sit and talk and talk. She is a senior in college this year and coming home on Friday. I am so excited.</p>
<p>Othere D, at UA, is still the same as she was in HS. Does not talk too much, but will go in streams when we are out to dinner or driving.</p>
<p>Things really did not change much at all…other than when they go out, they stay out later than they did in HS. I do find that drinking is not an issue at all.</p>