I’ve been reading this forum for the past 24 hours and I’m impressed and a little overhwhelmed by all of the great information here.
Here is our boy’s situation:
B to C+ student
No PSAT or ACT scores to go on yet
Finances definitely a factor for us
Son doesn’t know what he wants to study
Son quite shy
Loves the outdoors
On track to make Eagle Scout
Runs track and cross country
We live in NJ
How do you get the process rolling? Any specific suggestions for the summer between sophomore and junior year, and winter break junior year?
We went to Rutgers Day this year in New Brunswick, ate in the dining hall, rode the bus around the campus and saw some sights. That was a nice and low-key way to introduce a college visit without any pressure. He enjoyed the day and said he should see some other schools. The truth is I am worried about him getting into Rutgers, our flagship state university. I would like to see other options like University of Vermont, but I don’t know how we’d afford that or other OOS universities. Do we even bother knowing we won’t have $50K a year to send him there?
I don’t think his grades will be strong enough to get merit aid from private schools. Also, I don’t see him as the kind of kid who would want to be a plane ride away from home (and again, finances). I see how CC might be a good option for a kid like mine, but I think he benefits from being around other motivated students, and I understand it’s hit or miss at some CCs. The idea of a gap year worries me, if it turns into a year of drift.
He will take the PSAT at school in October (junior year) so we’ll have more information then. Really wish we had him take it last fall but that was before we knew anything about the process.
I know this post is a bit of a ramble, so thanks for reading this far. I want to help, without putting on too much pressure or hurting his confidence. I want to make this process as enjoyable as we can.
Thank you for ANY baby steps advice for the next few months!
Some SUNY schools give OOS scholarships. My D’s best friend at her SUNY is from NJ and had a scholarship that brought her down to instate tuition.
Some schools give scholarships for Eagle Scouts. I have one, so it’s an area I researched. Most of them are in the South, which my son had no interest in (he actually prefers cooler weather), but give it a go. ES looks good on applications and on resumes, so I would encourage him to finish that up.
I would also encourage you to look at the threads for 3.0 - 3.4 students for the years 2017 (my son’s group), 2018 and 2019 and you can get some great suggestions. Not every kid is Malala or Nathan Chen or even a 36 ACT, perfect SAT, GPA kid and those threads are friendly and filled with excellent suggestions.
Definitely if he can pull up his GPA a bit for Junior year that will help with the application process.
You have some very good in-state options. My knowledge of Rutgers is mostly based on having either studied or worked with people who did their undergrad there, but they made Rutgers look quite good.
You should run the NPC on schools that you are considering. If you are not divorced, do not run your own business, and do not own a farm or rental property or a second home, then they are usually quite accurate.
Make him take a diagnostic SAT/ACT test in May/June. All NJ cram schools will administer it for $50 or so. Results will probably be bad.
Make him use this summer for SAT prep. A few hours every day doing pieces of SAT tests and work on weaknesses with family help or sign him up for a cram school. This will also prepare him for the PSAT. There is a chance that good SAT results will compensate for weaker grades.
I have to ask, are you sure he wants to go to college or pursue a future that requires college?
I know it’s not popular to say, but I know there is a huge need for bright motivated students in the trades. I know of well-paying blue collar jobs that cannot fill their positions due to a lack of qualified candidates. Learning a trade means he could one day run his own business - you still need to be smart and know how to manage your customers, pricing, and so forth. I just bring it up because you state he doesn’t know what he wants to study and you are unsure of whether he’d get into your flagship etc.
If you definitely are interested in college, I’d check out the threads for 3.0 students. I’m not sure what the costs are at other NJ state schools - like Rowan, etc. But generally speaking, those are usually the most affordable for students who don’t qualify for a lot of merit money.
Hi-not a parent but current HS. I’m the oldest and first kid going to college. It sounds like visiting Rutgers was a good first step. Taking practice PSATs during the summer might be a good idea. Taking a practice SAT and or ACT for the summer at home might be good too (although, I’d keep it low stress).
If you are thinking about finances, sophomores can also apply for some scholarships. Many of them are easy to apply to; some don’t require test scores or letters of recommendation. Try websites such as fastweb or scholarship owl. I really wish I had done this when I was your son’s age! You also can find scholarships that your son qualifies for and can apply to in the future.
My first suggestion would be to look at your finances and decide what can realistically afford. Every college has a Net Price Calculator which can give you a feel for what you can expect to pay. Understand that these vary in accuracy and will not be accurate for the self employed, divorced, have rental income and some other issues. It just a starting point to get a feel for what things cost. You might consider sitting down and maybe having a stiff drink handy.
Next explain the budget realities to your son. Then explain the importance of the standardize testing. These are not tests to taken without prep although many do. It does not have to be professional prep.
We started with touring different types of colleges to get a feel for what our kid would like. Living in NJ, you have lots of colleges nearby. It does not necessary have to be schools that he would ultimately be interested in. This will help him get a feel for what he might want in a college. I would try to pick college that are realistic. I am not a big fan of touring schools like Princeton, Columbia, NYU, etc if they don’t line up with your stats or budget. So many kids fall in love with the dream that just isn’t realistic. It is perfectly find to have reaches but try to help him evaluate his chances.
NJ does have some decent CCs so look seriously into that option. I would be surprised if there are not motivated kids at some if not all of them. Not everyone can afford to start at a 4 year college. Some of those would be very motivated to work hard in order to be able to transfer.
There are many threads on this board that discuss the NJ state schools. Do some searches with the names of the schools and see what pops up. Do not be discourage about threads of kids that don’t want to go to Rutgers. If you stay on the board long enough you will read many threads of kids dreaming of going OOS and how their flagship is not worthy. Funny thing is on other threads will be kids dreaming of going to the same school since it is OOS for them and so much better.
Once you know your budget and stats try posting on the financial aid board. There are some amazing people there that might be able to give you some guidance about what schools could be affordable.
A C+ gpa is a 2.3. A B gpa is a 3.0–so there is a big difference between the two. Find out his average gpa as a starting point and research from there.
Without knowing your circumstance, it is hard to give advice. Do you feel your son is working up to his potential? Are there any learning disabilities that are keeping his grades down? Behavioral/ emotional/ maturity issues?
If you think that he can potentially do better junior year–I would visit some schools that fit into the 3.0 range for average gpa as an incentive to apply himself more and as others have said, really work on SAT scores this summer. Money spent on a combination of group classes and private tutoring may be financially worth while if ultimately it allows him to go to an in-state option or to get scholarship money.
Some schools are fairly forgiving of freshman/ sophomore grades if they see an upward swing. So junior year grades and early senior year grades can really change things.
However, if you feel he is working up to potential and has good support from his school, then I might consider a community college setting to start with and then transfer for junior and senior year. That will put more schools within your range financially and by then he will have more of an idea of the direction he needs to go.
Then he can decide if completing a four year degree is best (and where) or whether a trade school is the better option.
+1 on budget. Unless you are independently wealthy, that should be the first factor in determining where you look, especially with a B-ish kid (like mine). The 3.0-3.4 threads are a wealth of information! There’s also a thread “for the B and C students” …
Try the Colleges That Change Lives (there is a website, ctcl.org, I think) – small liberal arts colleges that have endeared themselves to plenty of folks.
Re: budget: just because you might make what you think is a lot of money does not necessarily preclude financial aid. I say this because people in Jersey sometimes think their incomes are too high – compared with a lot of the rest of the country, it seems that way, but it’s not always gonna be a barrier to FA.
Also, most colleges do not award even merit aid/scholarships without you filling out a FAFSA, so don’t skip that step when the time comes.
Financially speaking, you are right now in the “prior prior” year as far as determining what colleges will expect you to pay. Your expected family contribution will be based on the tax information from THIS YEAR, 2018.
So, if you need to do some financial things to look poorer, this is the year to do it and you still have time! Ask more in the scholarship/fa thread for great advice.
How has he performed on standardized tests so far in school? If he is regularly ranking in the 90th percentile, then some PSAT prep may make sense. He might be able to pull himself up into the range where the test score would qualify him for National Merit money. If he regularly scores in the 70-80 range, skip the PSAT entirely (I took Happykid out for brunch that day) and instead work directly on the ACT and SAT. Have him try both of those. Some students do better on one or the other. You can even have him try them at home - just pick up a test sample book at the public library.
Have a chat with his scoutmaster. Where have scouts with his temperament and interests gone to college in recent years? The scoutmaster has seen a lot of young men over the years, and may well have good ideas for your son.
Lastly, when considering the CC to 4-year route, don’t forget to investigate CCs that have residence halls. I don’t know if there any in New Jersey, but there are several in NY state, and at least one MD CC has optional on-campus housing at an adjacent public U.
He can potentially qualify for merit with those grades, depending on how he does on the SAT. My son is finishing up his freshman year at Rowan. It’s been great for him. I would expect you’re going to be full pay at the NJ state schools (TCNJ would be a reach; it’s definitely more selective than the other NJ schools, besides Rutgers). A lot also depends on major - STEM will be harder than other majors.
My son was offered merit that made most of his choices cost the same as our in state options - Lycoming and York in PA. Kutztown is a PA public (and less selective school) that would have cost us about $20k all in out of state. U of Maine will match Rutgers tuition if he’s accepted.
Definitely find the 3.0-3.4 gap thread - there are tons of schools mentioned there to research.
Thank you, techmom99. Whether or not my teen would qualify, I had no idea SUNYs gave OOS scholarships–great tip. And I will look up those threads from 2017 you mentioned tonight. Appreciate the help. Thank you!
I was going to reply to each one of you but I’ll try to condense my comments in one reply for now here:
I didn’t know anything about Rowan. Thank you to everyone who suggested it. NJWrestlingmom, I’m so glad your son’s had a great year there.
I think I’m happy to hear 2018 is an important benchmark year for determining aid because I went from coporate to self-employed/the gig economy and my income’s dropped considerably since 2017 and is irregular right now. I am married and my husband has a long-time steady “regular” job. I’ll look up financial aid advice about getting our income down for the FAFSA.
I loved the scout-specific suggestions like schools with scholarships (found one in West Virginia–yep, the South!) and to seek advice from the scoutmaster on boys like mine transitioning to college. I will definitely do that.
After reading the suggestion to have my son take a practice SAT this summer, I found a free proctored exam at the local library next month. So I’ll ask my son to take that and see how he does and then focus on improving from there.
Finally, on trade schools: no, have definitely not ruled this out and will make sure to explore this idea with him. I come from a blue-collar background and have had some disillusionment with the corporate world, having survived multiple mergers and layoffs but finally getting hit in my last job by doing the job of multiple people and losing my benefits. No looking down on the trades by me! Nothing would make me happier than to see my son happy, so open to whatever that is.
I will check the other sites and books mentioned, and thank you for all of the encouragement and advice. I do hope he gets his grades up. They are already better than they were freshman year, which is a relief.
I’m so glad to have found this site. Thank you, everyone.
It’s still a little early for him to be thinking about college, though you can start if you want a head start. If he is working hard, then grades are fine, but if he isn’t working hard, or if he potentially has any learning challenges, now is a time to address those issues.
I personally am not a fan of stressing kids out with a lot of SAT/ACT prep or retakes. There are many many schools that don’t require or don’t emphasize standardized test scores. http://fairtest.org/university/optional Please look closely at this list!
We don’t know what he is interested in. (For example, could an interest in woodworking lead him to wooden boatbuilding programs? Check out North Bennett Street School for artisan/crafts programs if he has any interest. National Outdoor Leadership School as well since he is a scout. EMT training?)
What was his Eagle Scout project?
UVM is quite selective. You might want to buy a college guide, like Fiske or Princeton Review, to learn more about colleges, and I second the reference to Colleges that Change Lives (website, book, fairs).
Lesley in Cambridge might be a possibility.
Some community colleges have excellent programs, so it is worth looking into.
If you think he might be interested in the trades, look into what career & technical classes your high school offers. Our high school offers several options – HVAC, manufacturing, paramedic/fire/rescue courses, early childhood development, etc. – and some are 2-year programs that run junior and senior year. I know at least a couple of ours have a path where kids are only 1-2 semesters away from an AA when they graduate high school, and they can start at the local community college that summer and have their AA degree by December.
It also can serve as a free way to rule out a career path – for example, I spoke recently with two different boys who went through our early childhood program, which includes working in our district’s preschool. One said he took the classes because he planned to be a teacher, only to find out he didn’t love working with kids the way he expected; he then had time to find a new path without spending money on college education classes. The other one was just the opposite – he took the classes mainly for the credit, only to find out he loved working with young children and had decided to become an elementary teacher.
I’m from NY, and both my older kids sound like the same kind of student as your son.
My son went to Neumann in PA for a year-- LOVED it, and did really well, but decided he wanted to join the local fire department at home. He’s attending Community College this year, and the fire department will reimburse us his tuition.
My daughter will be attending Plymouth State in NH next year-- and she’s twitching with excitement. Her grades got her a $5000 scholarship from Plymouth, which certainly did her ego no harm!
NJ: Centenary, Montclair State
CT: Southern CT
PA: Neumann, Holy Family, Cabrini, York,
NY: Mount St. Mary, St. Bonaventure, St Thomas Acquinas, SUNY Delhi, SUNY Morrisville, SUNY Old Westbury, SUNY Alfred
MA: Salem State, Framingham, MA College of Liberal Arts
NH: Plymouth
Another thing you can do right now is look at his classes and expected teachers for next year. Junior year teachers are the ones who will be writing recommendations for whatever college or jobs program he goes into senior year. If there is a teacher he already knows that he likes, see if you can angle him into their class.
If he performs better when he is in a class with teachers he likes and who like him, set him up to succeed.