Yes, there are LD coaches, and I concur with finding the right level of school for this student. But I have seen many college kids, particularly boys, fail out due to an overdependence on parents-if they are relying on mom reminding them of things several times a day, that isnt going to work at 99% of colleges ( outside places like Landmark). Some dependency can be unlearned, and the earlier the start, the better. Perhaps even a gap year. The intellectual ability wont matter if the student cant be somewhat independent.
Buy tuition insurance
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Comments such as ālessen the level of support ASAP b/c he wonāt get that at any collegeā is simply inaccurate. Lessening support that a student may need is unnecessary. Fist they should demonstrate that they have internalized skills before considering lessening support. Pulling the rug out isnāt a wise idea until they can ride the bike well without training wheels.
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We will have to just disagree on that point.
LDand/or ADHD Students should, once they are enrolled, sign up through their disability services office for continuation of support they have in place and demonstrated a need for. There can also be other types of support services available. Iāve too often seen parents/students who think they want to āstart freshā and start college without support and/or meds. Then when they start to crash and burn as the first set of big exams come at thanksgiving or towards the end of the semester, they try to clamor (often too late) to get the support services in place. If these students would do this, they are much, much less likely to fail out as @roycroftmom mentions.
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Yes we will. Working 40+ years in the field - Iāll stick to my experience.
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Just keep in mindā¦the support one gets in high school might not actually be the support that continues in college. For example, there arenāt case managers in most colleges who will chase down a student to complete and turn in assignments. There arenāt case managers who will discuss accommodations with the professors and how to do those accommodations.
Does this high school student have an IEP? If so, a transition plan is required for students starting at age 14, and this should include having the student take more ownership of things they need to do themselves, and ways to seek help.
Even without an IEP, it is a good idea for this student to learn strategies to help themselves post high school. To me, this is very important,
I would suggest you also look into an executive functioning coach. Some students benefit from this, and there are such coaches near or even at some colleges.
Iām going to page @compmom for her opinion.
I do think college students need to have good self advocacy skills, and need to advocate for the accommodations to actually be done in their classes. They also need to know (as @jym626 stated) what supports are available to them at their college, how to access those, and most importantly to access them earlyā¦not when itās too late.
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Exactly. One accommodation I particularly love for similar students, that is often not asked for but often easily acquired if the student has the documentation, is to have only one big (midterm/final) exam a day. Hugely helpful, and many donāt know to ask for it.
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Lots of students at elite schools have adhd. What they have in common is their ability to find work-arounds. Some set reminders on their phones, watches and computer. Some write messages to themselves on their bathroom mirror. Some find a study buddy like them, and that person reminds them when turning in assignments. No one gets multiple calls a day from school. Re-focus expected support to extended time, class notes, and maybe a tutor-things colleges provide
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Hyperbole doesnāt add to the conversation. Not hearing anyone mentioning multiple calls a day. (Reminding many times a day doesnāt necessarily mean multiple calls). And there is a year still Left to help this student internalize skills or develop self advocacy skills
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The OP did. That is why she is thinking of changing from FT to PT work. Needing to make that change suggests a truly substantial amount of student support. And I agree there is a whole year left to work on this, hence the suggestion to start promptly.
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We donāt know how many reminders - maybe a cue before school, a text at lunch or after school to remember to bring home
The necessary materials (if student is in school) , reminder to look at calendar/day timer before next day, etc Donāt know enough About the student or their situation, but itās unlikely it would be necessary for the mom to cut back her work to part time. There are so many other interventions available to students who is overall generally strong student
Many colleges have robust support including academic and executive functioning coaches. These services are often open to all students regardless of documentation of any type of LD. I find the key to these services is actually seeking them out and using them. It took DS YEARS to come to a conclusion that these services would actually help him. We were lucky that he figured it out before college. Personally, we probably wouldnāt look at a college that didnāt have such services, simply because to me that would be a college that is unlikely to value neurodiversity and isnāt as invested in helping all students succeed.
Even pre-Covid, executive functioning coaches were working with clients online. DS coach had many clients who were away at college. Itās a great stop-gap, but truthfully, if you can find a great coach at the school (usually free or MUCH cheaper than private coaches) they will be more aware of the ins and outs of dealing with specific courses and professors, navigating the administrative tasks of who to contact regarding finances, scheduling and advising.
@Four_leaf_clover , as your son is a rising junior you have a lot of time to research academic support centers. Luckily, there is a lot of information on college websites. DS was in a position to get applications out early (and hopefully get responses early) so that he can then contact specific schools with acceptance in hand and very specific questions. The only kink in that plan for your son is that if heās making a ton of progress junior year, donāt apply too early. You want to apply at your peak.
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THIS
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I agree; my S23 has ADD and I see my job as a parent is to help him find systems and tools that work for him, and itās his job to utilize those tools that we find to help him handle things on his own. As we joke: Iām not going to college with you, so weāve got to figure this out!
He uses an app called Habitica to help him with routines throughout the day; such as morning routine (brushing teeth, skin care, change dogās water bowl, walk dog, put lunch in backpackā¦), afternoon routine, evening routine, etc. What times of day he checks his calendar for appointments, etc. Hey, heās an incredibly smart kid - and at the same time he needs to check a box to make sure he brushes his own teeth at night or he forgets. Thatās his ADD.
He also uses the Freedom app to block (across all platforms, his phone, laptop, etc.) access to particular websites and apps at certain times of day so he can do his āhead workā without going down internet rabbit holes.
There is so much executive functioning Iāve handled as a Mom, that heās got to take the baton on as he grows into an adult - and thereās no level of IEP that addresses āadultingā life skills. YES, heāll check in with disability support services at college, but no they are not there to handle a studentās day to day life. Plus, think ahead to how they fare after college; ADD is more than homework and test accommodations (or possibly work accommodations) - ADD impacts all aspects of life and executive functioning. We need to prepare our kids for all of it.
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Also, Cutting back to PT could mean cutting back from 8-6 to 10-3. We simply donāt know. Hoping the OP can clarify so we donāt need to make assumptions.
lolololol
I have a problem with the causality link to diagnosis here: overall school performance is not too bad, then the ADHD is āmildā?! If you are a very clever kid, in a family that gives lots of support (āI feel quite exhausted reminding him many times everyday. To give him the support he needs, I have decided to transition to part time work from full time work.ā), with tutors plus in-school support, then the impact of your ADHD might be āmildā, but that doesnāt mean that the degree of severity is mild! That same kid, same level of ADHD and cleverness, but w/o a family that can/will give that support, pay for tutors, and in an underfunded underperforming school could end up with a āsevereā diagnosis.
fwiw, first year students at Oxford- who definitionally have sterling school performance!- are told that as many as 1/3 of them will get an LD dx during their first year- that cleverness is no longer enough.
tl;dr- the severity of the dx should relate to the degree to which it impacts the students own ability to engage successfully with school, not the quality of the final output.
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Wow, thanks for so many responses and great discussion. He was recently diagnosed during sophomore year. I have been disappointed by his school support although it is a prestigious private high school. I suspect there is a lot of demand for academic support that is exacerbated by the pandemic. The only support teacher is stretched very thin and does not have much time for him since he is doing āwellā compared to other kids. Thatās why I have to get him tutor to help with his organizational skills in addition to my help at home. It is not easy to work with teenage kids as you may know. Now during the summer break, I spend a lot of time to help him stay on task, for example, with his SAT prep, since he complains it is not fun to do the prep.
It is our plan for him to take a gap year after high school so that he gets more time to develop his executive functions.
Thanks for the update. One small thing- as others have said, if he is doing ok in his academic subjects, he doesnāt really need a tutor- he needs an ADHD or executive function coach. Getting the right kind of support will be important.
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To clarify, this tutor we hired is trained to help him with organizational skills as well as English essay writing. He actually enjoys working with his tutor. I often times ask the tutor to reinforce what I think is important skills for him to improve upon.
I wouldnāt. One of my kids has ADHD and we never disclosed it to anyone, not our district and certainly not on college applications.
Sounds like your kid is doing fine despite having ADHD. Kids get Bs. I feel any attempt to explain away grades will sound like an excuse. As others have suggested, look for an EF coach to help with organizational and time management skills going forward.
Donāt get caught up in the hyper competitive college frenzy. Bs on the transcript are fine and good enough for admission to the majority of colleges.
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