<p>^^^
Do any of you watch Glee? Kurt’s father gave his son a talk about sex that many of us feel is one of the best we have ever heard. Bear in mind this is a father talking to a gay son, but most of it applies to everyone:</p>
<p>“When you’re intimate with someone in that way, you gotta know that you’re exposing yourself. You’re never gonna be more vulnerable, and that scares the hell out of a lot of guys…With two guys you’ve got two people who think that sex is just sex. It’s gonna be easier to come by and once you start, you aren’t gonna want to stop. You gotta know that it means something. It’s doing something to you, to your heart, to your self-esteem, even though it feels like you’re just having fun…When you’re ready, I want you to be able to do everything. But when you’re ready, I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don’t throw yourself around like you don’t matter, because you matter.”</p>
<p>4safrontman and LasMa, thanks for pointing out the fact that everyone should thoroughly investigate medical care before doing something just because their doctor prescribed it. I investigated the HPV vaccine (as you pointed out, it was certainly “in our face” in Texas!) and reached a different conclusion than you did. There’s no right or wrong in these kinds of scenario–you simply have to weigh the evidence and consider your personal facts. Thankfully, there has been a lot written about it, and it’s easy to find, read and make up your own mind! (To clarify, LasMa, you characterized the exerpted material you quoted as representing “JAMA’s take;” but JAMA doesn’t have a take and doesn’t speak for the AMA. It’s just a journal that publishes articles submitted for publication. Over time, it is usual for JAMA to have published multiple articles on the same subject presenting various views, new studies, etc.)</p>
<p>I second what ordinarylives said about the pill. While for many it works very well with no apparent side effects, for some kids the side effects are devastating and dangerous - one girl I know became severely depressed and suicidal but was fine almost as soon as she stopped taking the pill. It’s probably not a good idea to treat the pill as an OTC med and anyone starting it should be monitored - just in case they’re in that group that has a bad reaction to it. This is also my concern about the longer acting bc meds - I’d think you’d want to know your kid could tolerate the prescription on a day to day basis before getting a shot lasting 3 months. I’ve seen more about IUD’s again recently - anyone know if they’ve changed much since the '70’s?</p>
<p>I can’t speak to IUD’s but a number of young women I know who want to be prepared, but aren’t in a long term relationships that might make them consider other methods, have diaphragms. It reminds me of my mother!</p>
<p>I went to college in the early 1970’s. Free sex, etc on the liberal campus. Not for me, nor the majority. One nonactive dorm girl was on BCPs for severe pain- a known endometriosus treatment now. Physician here who wishes had taken BCPs to have treated my cause of infertility…</p>
<p>I have told my son to remember if he does have intercourse he is sleeping with everyone she ever has- if she is willing to sleep with him she is willing to sleep with someone else and pass along any diseases. AIDS is unlikely but there are many other infections out there with lifelong consequences. </p>
<p>I hope any discussions involve stressing being able to be comfortable saying no- I would worry about the emotional consequences more than the physical ones. It was a lot easier to deny a man when there were obvious potential consequences. Now- it must be tough for some to not allow a man to use her body when she isn’t sure. </p>
<p>Not every college student is sexually active, despite reports. It seems important to advise daughters that they don’t need to conform to peer norms. Being “protected” does not mean needing to participate. I hope this message gets to every entering college freshman, including males.</p>
<p>Had the Kid buy guaranteed renewable term, life insurance. Sex, he could he could figure out. The consequences of sex I wasn’t too sure he could figure out. If there was a sex insurance plan, I would have bought it.</p>
<p>The insurance rates for a preferred kid is so much cheaper than standard and smoking rates. I wanted to lockin DS’s rates when I could. I was more afraid that he’d pick up smoking than a STD. Just now calculated that his insurance cost is less than half of 1% of his total student loan obligations or his salary.</p>
<p>BTW, tell your DD to search out young men who work for the college. Bypass, undergrads b/c they dks, MS grad students b/c they got their huita, and phd candidates b/c they got suffering spouses/gf.</p>
<p>In my humble opinion, no discussion of sex in college should ignore the omnipresence of underage drinking at college events. Even if your daughter does not drink now, it is possible that she may try drinking in the future.</p>
<p>Our daughters need to understand that for girls, the ramifications of drinking too much can be much more onerous than just a hangover. Far too many girls end up having “consensual” sex when there inhibitions are lowered when drunk. Though it is terrifying to contemplate, unfortunately, girls who drink too much, “lose” their friends, “black out” or otherwise lose control may be sexually assaulted and raped. It happens way too often, and is widely underreported. </p>
<p>Please remind your daughters that it is incredibly important to always keep their wits about them.</p>
<p>Just had this talk with DW and DD. Thank you CC members, you helped a dad more than you can know; VERY productive, open, and honest. The plans are in place.</p>
<p>Recommend book “Hooking Up” by Kathleen Bogle, about the pervasive and problematic “hooking-up” culture of casual sex on campus, for both parent’s and daughter’s reading. The book’s coverage may be shocking, but it should be mandatory reading for parents.</p>
<p>PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE think long and hard about Gardasil. Thank you to the previous posters for sharing this info on this vaccine. I am a mom living with the guilt of NOT doing the research and my DD has been sick since she had it. It TOTALLY CHANGED her life. Her doctor recommended it and still will not recognize that this vaccine has triggered autoimmune disease in my child. We since left this Dr. My DD struggles with chronic fatigue, a non-functioning thryroid and many of the symptoms of Lupus. Yes, many girls have the vaccine with no problems but when you do the research you will find that thousands get sick from it.(and some die) As my Dr put it - cervical cancer is curable but autoimmune disease is NOT. I feel terrible for my DD and I wish someone would have told me the risks.</p>
<p>OK, from someone not so recently out of college…</p>
<p>I love my IUD. I proselytize for IUDs. I have a Paraguard (copper) not a Minera (with hormones) and the change in my moods is fairly incredible. Did the shot for all of college, nice to not mess with my periods, but lost fifteen pounds after getting off the shot, and feel much more present and in touch with me and myself after reducing the quarterly hormone injection.</p>
<p>They have changed quite a bit since the 70s, and are much safer now.</p>
<p>However, some OBGYNs do not consider you for them unless you’re in a stable relationship and have had a child. Something to consider. I meet neither of those conditions, so it is possible!</p>
And your reply to my reply is well-taken.</p>