My son is considering Cornell but does not want to join a fraternity. How difficult is it socially for boys not involved in Greek life? I’ve heard that independent girls have an easier time being allowed into parties than their male counterparts. This is a concern because he’s very socially active in high school and would like that to continue into college. (he will join intramural teams).
Also, is it a mistake to choose such a large school if you are not going to go Greek (since the fraternities will provide a smaller community to belong to within the larger school)?
Believe me, fraternities and sororities are not the end all be all for a happy social life. Geez, get real. So many parents and students are brainwashed about this. Only 30% of campus is Greek. So don’t tell me that the other 70% don’t have a happy social life. My D did not go Greek and is completely fine and has a very fun social life. There are clubs, program houses, and hundreds of other opportunities too numerous to mention for kids to get involved. Social life is not dependent on being Greek.
It is helpful in a large school to carve it down into smaller groups, where interaction is more likely and intimate.
The fraternities provide a built-in, pre-established way to accomplish this.But there are other ways.
A common challenge of most Cornellians is to find housing. After my freshman year a group of us, most of whom were friendly or acquainted, rented a house together. That house then became a social centerpoint. For my daughter, who also attended, it worked out the same. Actually, better. She shared Collegetown apartments with friends. And the people in the other apartments in the house, who they did not know previously, also became friends. Groups of them did things together socially, all the time.
They went to dinner in groups, had parties. They sort of made their own little frat, if you will.
My later years there I joined a coop, which was sort of a coed, non-frat frat. That was a very good experience.
There are some frats that are sort of “non-frat frats” as well. Maybe your son will wind up liking them.
One can of course meet people in other ways, and then hang out with them. In classes, activities, jobs, bars, lunch, wherever.
Most people are not in frats, so it clearly is possible to survive and thrive without them. It’s just that in a frat, part of your social life is laid out for you; you don’t have to make an effort to intitiate that part of your social life. Whereas, without a frat, it is all up to you. Just like real life. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad.
Forgot to mention, a lot of connections/ social groups are formed in the freshman dorms.
I think it’s great that they have all the freshmen together on North Campus, that was not always the case.
Thank you so much, your replies are very helpful.