<p>Did he think your daughter was a hooker? Lovely guy.</p>
<p>I was very proud of her. He has since said he is very, very sorry and that he was just listening to some of his scummier frat brothers, but my daughter has yet to forgive him. From what I understand his “sure thing” date fell through.</p>
<p>My son told me recently that one of his roommates will have his fraternity formal in, get this, Puerto Rico. When I told one of my son’s former AP teachers, she jokingly said she’d be the roommate’s date.</p>
<p>Our formal is held in another, more urban town about an hour away, where we stay overnight. On the night of our arrival we go to dinner then pre-game, then go to a club which we rent out and return to the hotel. Then drive back the next day.</p>
<p>northeastmom, I <em>definitely</em> think you made the right decision! The idea of a car full of 17 yr old boys with new licenses driving 5 hours on icy roads, possibly at night, makes me turn pale with horror! 
What they might do when they arrived at their destination wouldn’t thrill me but would worry me far less.</p>
<p>tx5athome, what a sleazy guy. You D should be congratulated.</p>
<p>Consolation, I did not have to even think it over over for 30 seconds. Frankly, he was probably relieved when I said no because he could just tell his buddies that his parents would not allow it. He was a beginner at skiing (he had gone skiing a handful of times) and his friends were going to abandon him for more challenging slopes anyway (many lived all winter long on the slopes for years). I also had real concerns about my son trying to keep up with more advanced skiers and having an accident on the ski slopes.</p>
<p>Wow. My husband was in a frat and my son is now in a frat. Their formals consist of a dinner-dance at a restaurant off-campus, and maybe a party at the house the next night. That’s it. They’ve never gone away for a weekend. In fact, my college had 16 frats and I don’t ever recall hearing of any of them going away for the weekend.</p>
<p>Is this a certain region of the country? Because where I come from, a frat or sorority formal is an evening, not a weekend. And according to my son, that has not changed.</p>
<p>In the south, a majority of fraternity formals are overnight or weekend long events, whereas sorority formals are mainly just an evening event.</p>
<p>Even in the West, some of these frat events are overnight. When I was in a sorority, the frats had these overnight formals in hotels and because of the drinking, the slogan was…take the elevator home.</p>
<p>Anyone read Tom Wolfe’s Book I am Charlotte Simmons? He described a frat formal very similar to what some of you mentioned here: hotel, couples sharing rooms, underage drinking, etc.</p>
<p>We had them in the Midwest too, back in the 80s as well. We didn’t even rent party buses back then to travel to Indianapolis or Chicago. I remember going to a formal in Michigan and having a very miserable 5 hour drive home with my (new) ex boyfriend. Not all fraternities did the big weekend, but some went all out. Truthfully, the vendors are better about serving alcohol to minors now than 20 years ago. That is why so much pregaming happens. The kids know they won’t be served at the venue.</p>
<p>“It just amazes me that they can have alcohol when they are not of the age- how do the vendors get away with it?”</p>
<p>Frankly I’m surprised at the naivet</p>
<p>I know that it is possible for those underage to drink I just wouldn’t think the vendors would allow it!! I haven’t gotten any definite info but I have known her boyfriend for 2 years .I have no idea if she will go or not but she hangs out with this group often and she should be fine as long she doesn’t drink do drugs or have sex!!! HAha!!!</p>
<p>In today’s environment, the vendors, the hotels, the restaurants, etc. are NOT serving alcohol to the minors. The minors are drinking in the hotel rooms or on the party buses BEFORE the event. It is the same way kids drink at prom or at football games or before any school-sanctioned events.</p>
<p>Mamom – re Charlotte Simmons == you left out the date rape drugs slipped to the girls during dinner and subsequent date rape scene …</p>
<p>Again, though, fake IDs are also a pretty significant part of greek life these days.</p>
<p>^ well been years since I read it. Maybe the OP should wait til after the formal to read it.</p>
<p>“These days”? Ha ha. Nothing new under the sun. Really, people have been creating fake ID’s since … well, the beginning of drinking ages. </p>
<p>These days, what has changed is legal liability. When I was in school, vendors (such as hotels or restaurants) would indeed serve alcohol to any of us attending fraternity / sorority functions, as long as we looked old enough. Today? There is so much more liability concern on the part of the hotels and restaurants. The Hilton, Marriott, etc. management does NOT want to be the one seen as providing the alcohol to a bunch of 18, 19, 20 year olds. Back then, they didn’t care.</p>
<p>The preponderance of fake ID’s is not limited to greek life. Check out other CC threads on the topic.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the info- I’ve decided to let her go - it is a VERY small school= very few are going so it should be fine-I pray that they are safe-she has dated this boy 2 years (as of today) and I know him well -</p>