Fraternity & Sorority--- Good or Bad?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>"the people who stand by me no matter what when i really need them are my brothers. A brother goes into a fight knowing he's going to lose for one of his brothers. A brother puts his body infront of a gun for another."</p>

<p>These are just words of wisdom and encouragement. Let me ask you if you would honestly put your body in front of a gun for another brother? If this really happened to you, would you want to lose your life this way? Anyway, the point is that your statement assumes that every brother is termed generically. That is to say it's impossible to have the same feelings for every brother, and subsequently feel the need to die for each and everyone of them. And when it comes to girls, I don't think you would want to "lose" the fight. If anything, it would only create more animosity between the involved brothers.</p>

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<p>I go to a LAC that abolished its Greek system. It keeps the focus on the school instead of individual organizations. When people donate they donate to the school not to make their old frat house nicer. </p>

<p>The whole scandal with the greek system at Depauw typifies what alot of them are like.</p>

<p>I have a friend who goes to a big state U, and everything he tells me about his frat makes it seem like it's a dogmatic hold over from an age gone by. They are trying to bond guys together that really have no commonality except that being in this frat will up their chances of getting laid on the weekend. </p>

<p>This friend and I were in a restrauant together, and I pointed out some college aged guys who looked they they might be in a frat across the room. My friend told me they couldn't be in a frat because of the brands they were wearing......</p>

23

<p>I love my sorority. Then again, it's not your typical sorority because rush isn't done through Panhellenic. Anyone that wants to join can. That and the fact that we are more about Service than anything.</p>

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<p>I generally refrain from posting on message boards, but tenniscraze's criticisms of Greek life are some of the most pathetic things I've read in a while. Yes, many of the Greek systems at many Southern schools (primarily the SEC ones and a few in Texas) are elitist. Many of the top houses draw their rushees from private schools in upper class, old money areas. This social stratification is just a fact of life, and you need to get over it. It does not mean, however, that these people are shallow, snobbish, or discriminatory. Yes, there certainly are pretentious people who make a big deal about where you're from or what your family does, but in my experience most people from these backgrounds have been raised well and are great people.</p>

<p>Finally, it's sad that you so readily dismiss AndrewJH09's comments as "just words of wisdom and encouragement." It's obvious you've never experienced the type of bond a pledgeship (and I mean a real pledgeship, not the PC nonsense most orgs are trying to implement these days) forges. I may not be good friends with all the 100+ members in my fraternity, or even extremely close with some of my pledge brothers now that the process was so long ago, but there's a unique bond developed in pledgeship that will never fade. The rest of the greeks here know of what I speak, and your remarks are getting all the more petty.</p>

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<p>Like most anything - there are good and bad sides to fraternities/sororities (some erring more to one side or the other dependent on the environment at a particular school and the particular fraternity/sorority).</p>

<p>Plus, the choices that you make and the people that you choose to be close to (within the fraternity/sorority) will have a significant impact on your experience.</p>

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<p>More than 25 years after my graduation, several of my sorority sisters remain my closest friends. We live in diff places, have diff careers, made diff family choices, don't get to see each other often enough. But I know what true friendship means, bc neither time nor distance has changed the fact that the enduring friendship of these women continues to be one of the greatest blessings in my life. They are the family I have chosen.</p>

<p>Watching my freshman son endure the "rigors" (ahem) of pledging this winter, I drew on this experience in just stepping back to observe the beginning of true friendships with his brothers. He doesn't call much anymore, but that's ok. He's got some family where he is. And I pray that many of these friendships will be forever, like mine have been.</p>

<p>Superficial? Nothing could be farther from my experience.</p>

27

<p>tenniscraze, why are you tripping on the greeks. I'm not into their whole things, but here @ berkeley if you can't afford dues they'll help you out. It's just a lifestyle choice, you choose who your friends are. Sure there's some weird process for it, I'm not interested in pledging anywhere right now, but thats because I've made my own friends.
Live and let live, college is what you make of it.</p>

<p>Going greek can be alot of fun, but you can go to every frat party if you're well connected enough on your own.</p>

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<p>"These are just words of wisdom and encouragement. Let me ask you if you would honestly put your body in front of a gun for another brother? If this really happened to you, would you want to lose your life this way? Anyway, the point is that your statement assumes that every brother is termed generically. That is to say it's impossible to have the same feelings for every brother, and subsequently feel the need to die for each and everyone of them. And when it comes to girls, I don't think you would want to "lose" the fight. If anything, it would only create more animosity between the involved brothers."</p>

<p>Yes, honestly, its happened in my fraternity, brothers (including myself) have been in dire need (mugged at gun point, attacked by people in the city etc) and brothers LITERALLY have stepped between them and the person. </p>

<p>Dont criticize us as being racist also! thats just not fact. We have blacks, whites, jews, christians, asians, homosexuals, every color, creed and style of life in our fraternity and it doesn't even come up because we have a relationship that is stronger than that nonsense. Just because one person, in one greek org., at one school had a bad situation it is not appropriate to label us that way. My brothers ARE my best friends, before, now and will continue to be. Pledging is an educational and FUN process. Being in a frat is not about "connections" and superficial relationships, its about brotherhood...in earnest!. You have no idea what you are talking about tenniscraze!</p>

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<p>Frats are fine, I have friends in a lot of them. But I've also established just as strong a bond as any frat brother has with my friends on my dorm floor. So it really is just a matter of living space to me. I like my dorm so I live here. Most of the frats are in inconvenient locations, so I don't want to live there.</p>

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<p>How much does a fraternity usually cost? Do they usually "reject" a lot of people?</p>

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<p>i think pledge costs are usually a one time fee of like $500, often times, living in a frat is cheaper than dorms (it's almost half as cheap @ berkeley, less depending on the frat).</p>

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<p>That?s good. How selective are they? What is the criteria for selection?</p>

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<p>It varies - the first rule of greek life is that it is different at every single campus you go to. Some regions (like the South, specifically SEC) are more homogeneous from campus to campus, but the chapter of XYZ at LSU may be awesome while absolutely miserable at UGA. On a given campus there are some houses that are more selective than others (just as for colleges, the top chapters are more able to pick and choose the best rushees, while other chapters may be less selective). the main thing (despite what the haters will tell you) is being someone who is enjoyable to be around. If you're someone who is friendly, hardworking, intelligent, and easy to get along with, you'll have a chance at a bid pretty much everywhere. The so-called "top" tier chapters at any school may have more stringent criteria (my chapter is very strict on minimum HS GPA and ACT scores which prevented us from rushing a few guys, but because we have a lot rushees interested in us, de facto criteria for us include a lot of ECs, sports, scholarships, honors and such. But again we can be choosy because we aren't likely to have a problem finding enough guys who have those qualities, are compatible with our chapter and want to join.). While those other things are important being a nice guy is paramount. The chapter wants you to be someone they can see hanging out with for the next 3-4 years.</p>

<p>Some people on this board will go on and on about how fraternities are racist or elitist and only look at how much money you have. While chapters like that may exist, the overwhelming majority aren't like that. If you want some true information, feel free to PM me. Ignore what people like tenniscraze have to say b/c they just care about their agenda, ignoring the fact that for many many people joining a fraternity or sorority is the best decision of their college career, and they are better people for having joined. As a fraternity member, I'll be the first to tell you that it's not for everyone, and that at some schools it wouldn't have been for me, but at my school it was for me and I'm thankful everyday that I joined. The thing is, you have to make that decision, and people like tenniscraze can't imagine it might be right for anyone and thus because it was bad for one person, it must be bad for everyone.</p>

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<p>Costs can really vary. I've heard of some as low as $300 per semester, while most of the big ones at Texas, for example, total up to about $2800 or more a semester.</p>

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<p>I know for a fact that Lambda Chi Alpha at the U of A does not allow black people into the frat. My friend is in the frat, and said the old alums have alot of sway over that kind of thing. One of there alums was one of the Waltons so they are freaking rich as hell. Sean Paul is coming in a few weeks for one of their parties.</p>

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<p>Our costs just went up this semester, so now they are about $300/semester, with the 1st semester at around $450. We don't live in the house, though. And there are scholarships available, both from the chapter and from nationals.</p>

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<p>I am currently pledging a fraternity. During Rush make sure the house you end up choosing is the one you really want. I was lucky, in my case it definitely was. Also, depending from campus to campus and chapter to chapter, the amount of time you are expected to commit can vary widely, but NEVER let Greek life come ahead of grades and classes. That's just my opinion.</p>

<p>Greek life can be a lot of fun, but sometimes it can be stressful. I personally would recommend it to most college freshmen (with reservations about what chapter they choose to join, of course)..</p>

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<p>About costs - where I go to school, fraternities are cheaper than any of the dorms (even the bad dorms). Sororities, on the other hand, are a lot more expensive, from what I understand.</p>

<p>Pledging generally does include some extra one-time fees... for me they were just over 500 dollars. I don't know about other houses.</p>

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<p>Guys, of course every Greek person is going to love being Greek and rave about it. Barring some crazy drama and fallout, the entire Greek system is basically designed to help its members. Designed to create a social brotherhood, designed to build an alumni support system, designed to create academic support, designed to help you succeed. If your number one goal, above all else, is to assure your success, the Greek system is a great opportunity.</p>

<p>What causes so much resentment and debate about the Greek system are the consequences of having such a self-serving, exclusive organization. The culture of exclusiveness, the outright cockiness brought out by being in such a powerful organization, etc. Nobody likes being excluded, especially when the included are having a good time, and that's the feeling that Greeks give to many non-Greek students.</p>

<p>The major difference between Greek organizations and a normal group of friends is that a standard group has no banner, house or other symbol proudly announcing their great friendship. Greeks do, and these things basically act as advertisements to their exclusive club membership. Again, nobody likes being excluded, and the extremes either go Greek or generate resentment.</p>

<p>As an analogy... I know many CCers are Ivy League, but the majority are not. For those who aren't, wouldn't you be irritated if a group of Harvard kids all wearing Harvard sweatshirts showed up at all the parties you went to, kept mainly to their group, and acted like they were having the greatest time in the world? You most likely would either wish you were Crimson or generate resentment that these guys went around everywhere advertising their Harvardness.</p>

<p>It doesn't matter what your intentions as a Greek individual are or what mottos are listed on your website, this is the image that gets projected for any self-promoting, fun and exclusive club. As I said a million years ago the last time this was brought up, people actively choose <em>not</em> to go Greek based on moral distinctions, not a cost-benefit analysis.</p>

<p>That's just how it is :)</p>

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<p>"Some people on this board will go on and on about how fraternities are racist or elitist and only look at how much money you have. While chapters like that may exist, the overwhelming majority aren't like that. If you want some true information, feel free to PM me. "</p>

<p>...You realize how contradictory those last two sentences are, right? You should have said, "If you would like to hear my side of it..."</p>

<p>But anyways, join a frat/sor is just up to you. At my school we have a huge amount of frats/sor and from what I've seen, the sororities tend to be more...disciplined and down to earth. As for the frats, well, I guess you just need to be that kind of person. Personally the dumbest people I've met so far are pledging or in a frat. Though I will cave and say I have met a fair amount of intelligent people who aren't complete idiots from frats as well.</p>