<p>So my biggest concern/worry about college is having to make a whole new set of friends and establishing a social life. I'm not the type of person who has dozens of friends, I just have a few close ones. I was wondering if fraternities are easy to make friends in. I have this fear that people in frats are jock-ish and self centered even though I know that's probably not true. So a few questions:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Are there different types of people in fraternities so if you don't like a few you can be really good friends with others? Or are they usually all the same and if you don't like one you'll hate them all?</p></li>
<li><p>Are fraternities good for somewhat shy or reserved people to open up and make life long friends?</p></li>
<li><p>Do guys in fraternities party a lot and engage in "bad" (excessive drinking and smoking) behavior often? I'm not fond of either of those things so how would I fit in with the crowd without feeling ostracized?</p></li>
<li><p>Share your experiences with fraternities and how they affected your overall college experience.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I’m a heavy introvert, still am, always will be. However, I still have a social life; it just comes in at a lower priority than my need for alone time.</p>
<p>I co-founded a chapter of a national fraternity at my campus and ended up getting heavily involved in Greek community on campus.</p>
<p>1.) Yeah. With any organization of any reasonable size, there’s going to be variety in membership. However, keep in mind that they are all brothers. Even if one person doesn’t like another, everyone still shares the same values. Though, there are a few exceptions in cases where a chapter does random recruitment, places little importance on the brotherhood, or there’s someone who’s just not quite feeling the bond.</p>
<p>2.) Yeah. If you find an organization that’s a good fit for you, you and your brothers will make each other open up. It’s basically structured social life.</p>
<p>3.) Depends on the chapter. Find one where you will fit in without being anyone other than yourself. In my chapter, people drink, but not excessively. In fact, we will intervene when a certain brother drinks excessively. I’ve seen fraternities that drink even less than my own, as well as those who drink like no tomorrow. It’s extremely important that you join an organization that’s a good fit for you.</p>
<p>4.) I’ve made several life long friends and gained several skills in running an organization through my fraternity. It’s one of the most significant parts of my college life.</p>
<p>You will find all kinds of different people in fraternities. Also it will be hard for a fraternity to pick you if you’re introverted and don’t open up to them.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the fraternity you join. You need to find one that fits you really well and one that you fit into really well (otherwise you probably won’t get a bid).</p>
<p>I’m an introvert and I initially considered rushing for a professional co-ed fraternity, but I decided that the people in the frat were not people I’d like to hang out with or anyone I could see being my sibling. I was interested in the professional development the frat could offer me, but it wasn’t worth it if I wouldn’t like the people.</p>
<p>I eventually met up with a group of people who shared my academic interests (even if they weren’t pursuing the same professional goals) and together we founded a chapter of a Greek Letter org that fit our values and goals. I’m absolutely thrilled I made the choice to join and I’ve met some fantastic people through my sibling hood. These are people I wouldn’t have met otherwise, and I am proud to call them my siblings.</p>
<p>Now, I didn’t join my frat until my junior year, so I have a larger number of other friends outside of my frat. I’d recommend trying to find individuals with similar academic temperaments to you, and joining clubs that you really enjoy. It helps a lot to have people you get a long with to break out of your shell. Join a fraternity if you feel that it will mesh well with your values and goals, not just because it can provide friends. It is more than that.</p>