You could remove the word “underage” and the truth of the sentence would not be materially altered. So I gather that you are for bringing back Prohibition? </p>
<p>The question is not whether alcohol is good or bad for you. As we know now, the answer is, as with so many other ingestable substances, “it depends.” Alcohol consumption can be safe, even good for you, or it can be deadly, depending on the wisdom of the drinker’s choices about how, when and how much to drink.</p>
<p>The question is at what age it is appropriate to allow people to make those choices for themselves. I think the best reasons for answering that question “18” are these: (1) it is the age at which a person becomes responsible for his or her choices in virtually all other realms; (2) it is the age at which, as a practical matter, most young people become removed from the environment in which the conduct of their lives is at least nominally under the control of an adult authority figure.</p>
<p>Talk to your kids, not lecture, talk. Admit that you weren’t perfect, tell them that you drank at their age. Tell them that the line between “happy” and falling down sick is only a couple of drinks and you won’t know you’ve crossed that line until it’s too late. Share a beer with your 17 or 18 year old after mowing the lawn. Let them have a glass of wine with dinner. Show them that there is such a thing as moderation. Demystify the stuff. Supervise them - be their parent. </p>
<p>To the young ladies I’m going to be even stricter than ebeeeee, don’t rest your drink on the counter and turn your head to talk to someone, hold the drink in front of you at all times.</p>
<p>Post 41–“I find interesting the proportion of CC posters (or their children) who are not partiers. Not just from this thread, but many others as well. Either it’s a very straightlaced crowd, or a crowd in denial.”</p>
<p>I think the majority of posters on CC are parents of high achieving students or HA students themselves. Now in that specific group of posters I do not find it a bit unusal that there are not “swing from the light fixture” type of partiers. Exceptional grades do not come from studying post hangover. Now I am sure there are some kids that have the ability to push superior grades and still party on the side and more power to them. As for my D, her average sleep cycle is 5 hours max per night durning the week and one weekend night each fall is spent at a football game (band). She certainly can think of more productive things to do (sleep) on her “off” night than play beer pong. Not all kids are party kids. And they certainly should not be made to feel like freaks because they aren’t.</p>
<p>And on the vomit note. Would all the “get over it comments” be the same if the OP had said blood was all over the floor? Folks, biological discharge is just that, biological discharge. The clean up procedures are the same for both blood and vomit. It is down right gross and no student should have to deal with that no matter what the cause was.</p>
<p>The fact is OP’s son is in a horrible position. If his wheel squeeks, then he will get labeled a nark, etc. If he says nothing, he doesn’t value what he deserves. I have no answers. I have no idea how I would advise a student in the same situation. What I do know is that to have others tell the OP that her kid should just get over it just does not sit right with me.</p>
<p>The area of the brain that inhibits risky behavior is not fully developed until age 25. Therefore, allowing kids to “practice” binge drinking, drinking in “moderation” &/or drug use before that age is counterintuitive. Additionally, brain cells, especially the hippocampus, are vulnerable to damage during this time. Alcohol use can damage memory & cognitive function. So, while we spend up to $55K for our kids to get educated, many of them are actually damaging their brains. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as allowing kids to make choices for themselves. </p>
<p>Perhaps the drinking age should be increased to 25?</p>
<p>When/If you drank in high school you had to face your parents; most 17 - 18 year-olds can’t go out drinking 3 nights in a row, stumble home at 2 AM and not face at least a few repercussions from mom or dad. By pushing the drinking age up all that was done was transfer that first experience with alcohol to college - an essentially unsupervised, hormone and peer pressure driven environment. </p>
<p>I don’t know when it became “fun” to get blind, falling down drunk. But I’m pretty sure it doesn’t help when “Lindsay” or “Paris” pop in and out of rehab like it’s a department store and the events are reported like important news. I’m also pretty sure it doesn’t help when we take something called “Snooki” and treat her like she’s a star. And before someone starts saying it’s the media’s fault, your wrong, the media only puts on what people want to watch. If we all turned off “Jersey Shore” they’d be gone in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>collegeshopping - that’s an excellent point about the bodily fluids.
vinceh - I agree it’s important not to lecture. It is important, however, to correct all the misconceptions about alcohol & drugs. Many kids (& adults) are ignorant about the harmful effects of alcohol & drug use, especially before the age of 25. Sitting down with your kids to drink a glass of wine does not suddenly cause the area of their brain responsible for inhibiting risky behavior to mature, however. If kids knew they could damage their brain cells, they may think twice about drinking.</p>
<p>Formyson, let me preface this by noting that I share your concerns about underage drinking and damage to brain development.</p>
<p>However, just to play devil’s advocate, I’ll bite:
Is it any more “moral” to allow an 18-year old to enlist in the military for combat duty? By allowing 18+ to enlist, isn’t the military exploiting this lack of risk judgement? At what age should we draw the figurative line between “adult” and “child,” and should that line be based on physiological & neurological development?</p>
<p>I think the key is instilling responsibility for one’s own actions.</p>
<p>Come on now, he is a FRESHMAN in college not high school. In my country, Switzerland, the legal drinking age is 16 and I rarely see 16 year olds falling arse over tit. Let him leave his desolate, sheltered life and experience the world by himself. I know I sound critical, but quite frankly, I said what needed to be said. No hard feelings, right?</p>
<p>It’s important to look at the scientific evidence when addressing the important health issues for our adolescents & young adults. It would be nice to have a glass of wine or beer with my son or daughter & make believe all is well, but unfortunately, when I send them off to college, that’s not the reality. They should know what the risks are & the risks are huge.</p>
I don’t know where or when all you parents went to college. I went to Big State U in 1981 - 1985, and it was definitely cool to drink until barfing. I was not a drinker, but I still heard all the time about “technicolor yawn”, “pray to the porcelain god”, etc. I started college at 17, and someone gave me a beer. I thought it tasted yucky. He told me that I just needed to acquire a taste for it. I asked him why I should acquire a taste for something illegal and expensive. And I was on the honors floor!</p>
<p>formyson, having a drink with your child doesn’t cause them to suddenly mature nor does it suddenly turn them into raging alcoholics. I completely agree with explaining to them the risks involved, but it my experience the kids who have struggled the most are the ones who have come from the “just say no” school of parenting. Alcohol and drugs have been demonized in their homes to the point of irrationality. Then they go off to college see their roommates having a “good time” with limited ill effects and so they decide to try it. When they don’t spontaneously combust from having a few beers they react as if they’ve been lied to all along and so they go crazy, (think of ex-smokers, they are far more aggressive in stopping smoking than the non-smoker).</p>
<p>We all take part in dangerous behaviors, we drive faster than the speed limit, we talk on cell phones while driving, some smoke, others eat too much red meat and don’t exercise, why just today I tempted fate and had some scrambled eggs. But as far as I’m concerned it’s my job as a parent to accept the fact that my kids may in fact take on some of these bad habits so I should help them realize what are reasonable boundaries and what are dangerous ones. They are going to figure it all out on their own, I just want to help them survive the process.</p>
<p>“the kids who have struggled the most are the ones who have come from the “just say no” school of parenting”</p>
<p>vinceh; Not disagreeing, but curious; How many kids can you think of, that gave you that impression? I hear that a lot, but wonder how many kids like that we are talking about. I’m sure you can always find a few anecdotal stories, but the research just doesn’t support “early” drinking as protective against excessive drinking . Maybe that is not what you are saying, but it’s what is often implied.</p>
<p>I lived in Switzerland only two years, and I saw the effects of drinking, mainly on public transportation. For example, I clearly remember running to catch the tram, hopping on the last car, and trying to hold my breath until the next stop so I could switch to a vomit-free car. </p>
<p>I really haven’t heard anybody advocating prohibition, as an early poster asserted. The issue in the original post is not whether people will or should drink, but what should be done when the resulting vomiting and noisy behavior impinge on the rights of others.</p>
I just saw this and it really depressed me. I don’t know what is sadder, the fact that young women have to worry about such things, or the fact that there are young men out there desperate or disturbed enough to actually enjoy having sex with an incapacitated woman. Wouldn’t it be simpler to get a blow-up doll, if the participation of a conscious human being who likes you is not considered necessary?</p>
<p>My modest proposal is to do away with the drinking age, and instead issue drinking licenses, like drivers’ licenses. Make kids take a course, maintain certain grades and a clean driving record, etc., if they want to get their license at 18–otherwise they have to wait until 21 (or even later?). Military servicepersons would get such a license upon enlisting.</p>
<p>I’m 18 and a college freshman; I just moved in this past Thursday. I go to a big state school, one that’s on the Princeton Review’s Top 20 Party Schools. I’ve never had a sip of alcohol in my life. My parents never lectured me not to drink alcohol - I don’t think they ever mentioned it once, but it was pretty much understood without being spoken throughout HS that if they found out I was drinking I would be in big trouble. But even as I went off to college in another state they did not mention drinking at all. Yet I don’t plan on drinking anytime soon.
I have a fine social life, I had a close group of friends in HS and almost all of them drank in Senior Year. I don’t feel like I need, or want to. I have friends, I played 3 sports in HS, I got very good grades, and I had fun, so I know I can have fun in college while staying sober. I’ll admit I’m kind of a “follow the rules” person. But again, this isn’t a result of my parents drilling anything into me. Far from it. It’s just who I am I guess. It’s not that I think something’s going to happen or I’ll go crazy, or get in trouble. I’m not afraid of it. It’s just not my thing. I don’t need to wake up with a hangover or not remember what happened the night before. And if that makes me “lame” in some people’s eyes, so be it. No one I know has ever put me down for my choices though.</p>
<p>^That’s what I’m talking about! Maybe you will keep us updated? But I’d understand if you didn’t. BTW, my D DID confide that she…experimented a little, end of her college sophomore year, age 20. Apparently it was okay, but she’s not a big fan.</p>