<p>We deposited $500 in S’s account in August. To cover books, gas, entertainment, runs to Target, etc. He also had $75 school bucks for laundry, extra food, etc. </p>
<p>At the time, I figured he would run out pretty quickly with first semester odds and ends. But, he has not asked for a penny more and says he is in good shape whenever I prod.</p>
<p>He lucked out with books, they were less than $150. But also he is a tightwad and is saving $$$ to buy an electric guitar.</p>
<p>A job is not a charity. You don’t give a job to someone because he/she needs a job, that’s how it is in the real world. My daughter applied for a job on campus that wasn’t designated for work study. She was hired because she was the best candidate. They’ve had many workers in and out of that office for the last 3 years, but they love D1. They are holding the job open while she is studying abroad this semester. She will go back this Spring and next year as a senior. They said she has done more in the office (organize their database, website, budget) than other students. D1 also teaches ballet, which I don’t think that many people could do. </p>
<p>Just because we could afford to pay full fare for her and also to pay for all her spending money, it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have equal opportunity as other students when it comes to work experience, which is a very important part of overall education. She needs work experience to get meaningful internship, in turn to get permanent employment someday. It’s all part of resume building. No different than what she did in HS in order to get into college.</p>
<p>It is a mistake to graduate from college with no work experience.</p>
<p>I am always amused when parents don’t want their kids to work while they’re at school… as if they are spending 24/7 studying and a part-time job will hurt their academic performance. D has had a job since day 1 (4 hours per day/3 days per week) and has top grades at top school and still finds time to volunteer, socialize and do what pleases her extracurricularly. </p>
<p>They want to be treated like adults, so why not expect them to act like it too?</p>
<p>Supposedly, studies show that a job helps a student manage time better and encourages self-discipline. </p>
<p>That said, nothing wrong with sending them off with some funding, paying for transportation home for the holidays, giving them a pile of quarters for laundry, etc. I did that, and send a funny card occasionally with a gift card inside to Starbucks or CVS. </p>
<p>You can show you care without being overly indulgent. </p>
<p>If my kid ever charged something like a tattoo on my credit card–I would go through the roof and make sure every dime was paid back. I actually saw a show on MTV last year where a student did this to his mother. She was working 2 jobs to pay for his schooling and he had the nerve to get a tattoo that cost several thousand dollars and appeared shocked that she was so mad and tried to manipulate her into forgiving him. He didn’t even seem that remorseful about what he had done. I was speechless. This poor woman was sacrificing so much for her son’s future and he practically spit in her face.</p>
<p>It’s tough out there in the real world–especially now–and mom and dad aren’t always going to be there to bail them out–the sooner kids learn that lesson the better off they’ll be.</p>
<p>I see too many spoiled kids–and not just from wealthy families. Even though it’s done out of love, it’s counterproductive. Better a job than an allowance, imho.</p>
<p>If my son could find a job on campus or slightly off (he doesn’t have a car), I have no issue with him taking the job regardless if we are full pay. I agree that life doesn’t work like that and while I believe in certain social programs that assist others less fortunate, a job (that is not work study) is not a social program. You would never presume to say my husband shouldnt have a job because there are others who may depend on it more. Life isn’t going to be handed to my kid on a silver platter and it’s best he accepts that now.</p>
<p>Well, our pattern differs depending on which child we are talking about. We are paying $0 for our D to attend college and she received a stipend in the form of a scholarship which is covering her books and some expenses for entertainment and the like. She is going to rush in the spring and if she decides to pledge, we will pay the expenses associated for the sorority. Son is a money pit! Is on work-study, thank goodness, but I usually send him $50 a week with a “motivational letter”. Works for us.</p>
<p>And regarding working- D didn’t work in high school and I don’t want her to work now. I’m a firm believer that education is her job right now. Son worked in high school and didn’t work at the academics. He enjoys working but I know D would be completely overwhelmed if she had one more thing on her plate right now.</p>
<p>As far as the job goes, frankly I was surprised that he was hired - figuring all of those on-campus jobs would be reserved for work-study kids. BUT my son has a great personality, is very good at what he does and I have to assume that they would rather have the set of qualifications from a student who doesn’t necessarily “need” the job than a less qualified student who does. Old Fort is right, everyone needs work experience. I want him to work was just a little concerned about the first semester part of it (learning how to manage the academic expectations of an Ivy).</p>
<p>Oh, I hate these threads–they inevitably turn into a bragfest about giving your kid the least amount of money (i.e., “your kid is soo much more spoiled than mine”). And I don’t think most college kids need an allowance, either (maybe in some special circumstances).</p>
<p>Money doesn’t spoil kids. It’s the attitude. I know plenty of rich kids who aren’t spoiled in the least and plenty of not rich kids who think the world owes them a kite on a string. Money is not the defining difference. Some kids can work and do the academics required and some can’t. I feel badly for those who really need to be hitting the books trying to make a job work as well because they are on work study. But this much I know: My definition of emergency spending is usually not the same as what my son would consider emergency spending. Give credit cards with caution. :)</p>
<p>There really is no reason to give your child your credit card if you want them to have money. My son’s debit card (linked to his checking account) has the Visa symbol and is accepted pretty much anywhere the Visa is accepted. His checking account is linked to my account, and I can transfer money online to him instantly. So, if he has a big purchase he thinks I should be paying for (books, trip home), he can call me to ask for the money to be transferred to his account, and then he uses his debit card. He knows better than to ask me to pay for a tattoo! Believe me, he would be paying every cent of that back to me before he saw another dime!</p>
<p>Oh yes, he has already paid us back for the tattoo - and at the rate of $8/hour it represented many hours fixing people’s computers, I hope he enjoys it (not!)</p>
<p>Turning to the practicalities of this issue, D and I just went through her debit card statement line by line to figure which October expenses I’ll reimburse her for. Our understanding is that she uses her own funds (from her summer job and current babysitting gigs) for non-essentials, and we pick up the rest. But the process wasn’t that easy. I had no idea whether a CVS expenditure was only for prescriptions and needed toiletries or included other items, and she couldn’t remember and hadn’t saved any receipts (lesson learned there). Even if she had the receipts, how tedious to go through each one! When it came to fueling her Metro card (she’s in DC), some of her trips were personal, some were for events she was required to attend for classes (a play, a dance recital, a museum exhibition), and she used her card when we were going around town during family weekend. I finally decided to pick up half of her Metro costs because it was impossible to keep track (especially since Metro trips, unlike NYC subway rides, are charged by the distance traveled). Then there were food expenses to dissect. She’s expected to maximize her use of the meal plan, but sometimes her schedule requires her to eat elsewhere, plus I encourage her to keep fruit and milk in her mini-fridge. But then there are time she’s eaten elsewhere just for fun, which is considered her own entertainment expense. In addition to parsing the debit card statement, we have to review the statement from her college “bucks” program, which she has to use for laundry (reimbursable) but also uses for snacks/coffee (not). I thought I had set up a simple plan, but wow, not so much. All in all, however, this has been great experience for her. She is quite astonished at how fast the expenses add up and has a new appreciation for every dollar and renewed incentive to find more sources of income. We may switch to an allowance-based system next year, when we’ll have a better handle on her expenditures; we didn’t have a clue how things would go freshman year, so didn’t even attempt to come up with a number that would cover everything. I can certainly understand the temptation to just hand over a credit card and hope your kid doesn’t go wild.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Hope is a relative term. I hope to not go broke as well. :)</p>
<p>Our S has a card in his name which is paid in full automatically out of his checking account every month and one in our name which we pay. He uses the one in our name only for expenses we have agreed in advance to pay for. This works out really well for us.</p>
<p>I love that, Modadunn! Hoping not to go broke is a familiar feeling in our family as well. MommaJ, you have far more patience than I do. Although it’s very good training for any future expense reports your D may have to submit !</p>
<p>My son had money in his account to start the year, and he has been fairly wise in spending it. But once a month, I have him check his balances with his college accounts – just to make sure he’s okay, as he uses this money for laundry, books and supplies and assorted local eating places. So far, in nearly three months, he’s asked for a total of $100. He’d like to get a part-time job, perhaps tutoring next semester.</p>
<p>^^^
WOW MommaJ–that’s a lesson in balancing a budget!! You should work for the government–you’d make them accountable for our tax dollars!!</p>
<p>Your post is an example of how kids sometimes don’t know what they’re buying or how much things can cost. Until my D got a job and started paying for things herself, she, too, had no idea how expensive trivial things were. </p>
<p>It’s just good practice for adulthood to be practical about some purchases. I didn’t give my D a credit card. She got a secured one on her own. When she lived at home, she was given everything she needed, wanted and then some. When she left for school, I told her it was (more or less) independence time–time to grow up. Certainly not overnight, but step by step. She’s surprisingly happy to be taking responsibility for herself now. </p>
<p>Some schools offer seminars to students regarding financial matters and fiscal responsibility, but I think it’s a parent’s job to teach them those things. It’s an important skill set–why leave it to chance?</p>
<p>So this is what I have learned from all of you (and I think what we will do)…</p>
<ol>
<li> He already has a local checking account so that he can deposit his paycheck.</li>
<li> When he comes home for T’giving, we will go over the first cc statements to determine (ala mommajay) what he is spending.</li>
<li> Together we will agree on an amount that we are willing to contribute.</li>
<li> I think we will take back that tempting credit card for now. You are right - if there is an emergency we can always charge something for him over the phone (plane tix, emergency room, etc).</li>
<li>Help him to create a budget that he will follow and then…</li>
<li> Step back and watch.</li>
</ol>
<p>Had our first lesson in saying no last night - called to ask if he could go to visit his gf @ Brown next weekend (actually asking if he could charge a $200 train ticket) we said we hoped he had a nice time but it would be on his own dime. I do feel bad - it’s not entirely his fault, we have never given him clear and consistent messages regarding money. So we begin the process - better late than never, right?</p>
<p>I think the period of the time that the money should cover is important too. Perhaps in the beginning depending on the student’s spending habits money should be given once or twice a month. Overtime as the student, hopefully, learns to manage money it should be given once a semester or once a year.</p>
<p>Regarding the OPs post about an amount that is reasonable, I think it very much depends on where the school is located and what the living situation of the student is. Obviously, cost of living in say, Berkeley, is going to far outstrip more rural locations like Fresno. This is true for even the most basic items, like groceries, and also true for entertainment options (concerts, movies, etc). The living situation of the student is also important to consider. If they are in a dorm, depending on their specific dining hall hours/class schedule, it may not be practical for students to rely solely on the dining hall. If students are in an apartment, they can be expected to cook for themselves most of the time. </p>
<p>One other note on credit cards - I think it is vital that students have one that is monitored by their parents for two reasons. First, learning the value/perils of credit cards early on can reduce temptation later and secondly, if students don’t have access to such a card, they are more likely to sign up for one of the many available to them by unscrupulous vendors. The problem with this, of course, is that parents may not even know about these cards until the damage has been done.</p>
<p>Where is Violadad who can link all the previous threads on this topic!!??</p>
<p>The parents in this family did not cover any discretionary spending at all…and that included textbooks. Our kids had summer jobs, baby sat, and worked a few hours during the school year to earn any spending money. It was THEIR money. Folks have asked me how much my kids needed for spending money. The truth is…I have no idea. I didn’t earn their spending money so I didn’t monitor the amount or what they spent it on. Our kids were much more careful spending THEIR money than they were when we gave them OUR money. And is good for them to know what their own earning power could purchase. The reality was we covered room/board/tuition/fees/transport home/cell phones. They covered anything else…dinners out, the occasional burrito or pizza, concerts, spring break trips, clothing, etc. We did give them gift cards for holidays and birthdays…but not a regular allowance.</p>
<p>This, however, is a personal family decision.</p>