Frustrating Remarriage

Paying for College
1

<p>I present my dilemma to the CC community..</p>

<p>My mother just remarried, and her new "husband" will not be paying for anything related to education on my behalf. Dad isn't in the picture at all (no info).</p>

<p>Not only was this done behind my back, but the whole game changes because the EFC does, and my mother is a low-income parent. Not only do I have 5 other siblings, 2 out of school, and 3 younger ones, but I expect my financial aid packages to sharply decrease, even though the new stepdaddy has a low-income job as well.</p>

<p>I understand that FAFSA doesnt care if the stepparent won't pay, but considers it in calculation.</p>

<p>What is the advice that you all might have for me? Before this situation, I was looking into schools such as BU, GW, and Northeastern, but now I feel that my state safety schools are the only hope.
Any help is appreciated.</p>

2

<p>I’m sorry, but I’m going to offer congratulations to your mom on her marriage.</p>

<p>You need to understand a few things…first…the schools you have listed cost in the $50,000 range. There is nothing that entitles a student to attend a college at all, never mind one that is this expensive. </p>

<p>Even IF your mom hadn’t remarried, the schools you list do NOT (read that again do NOT) meet the full need of all accepted students. SO your EFC per FAFSA would have been the MINIMUM you would have been paying to attend theses schools. Even if you had gotten the full Pell Grant, that is only $5500…hardly enough to fully fund the schools you put in your post.</p>

<p>There is nothing that says that parents (married, divorced or remarried) MUST pay for their kids to attend college. Yes, the financial aid formulas consider parents in the equation one way or another…but there isn’t a law that states that parents MUST pay for college.</p>

<p>Because the schools you listed to not meet full need for all accepted students, it is QUITE possible that you would not have received sufficient aid to attend anyway.</p>

<p>I would suggest that you look at your stats and try to find some schools where you would receive guaranteed merit aid. Also, your say that your public university in your state is your “only hope”. I have no idea what state you reside it, but there are many very fine public universities in this country. Perhaps yours has an honors college for which you are eligible. </p>

<p>Please try to be happy for your mom. It sounds like she has been “going it alone” for a while and is happy. There will still be college for you…and a brighter future for your mom too.</p>

3

<p>If the step dad is low income as well, and you have a good sized family then all this may not change your EFC much at all.</p>

4

<p>Do you know what their combined income (AGI) will be this year? Run the number through one of the online calculators (College Board has one) to come up with a projected EFC. What state are you in and what is your intended major?</p>

<p>I agree with thumper that, unless you have amazing stats or a large amount saved for college, it’s likely your original pool would have been unaffordable for you and your mom.</p>

5

<p>It seems the OP resides in NY so there are some good affordable in-state options. Hopefully the OP will get over the feeling of entitlement about his mother’s life.</p>

6

<p>If that’s the case, and the stats are very good, he should be looking at schools that wil guarantee to meet need not pricey privates that will require big loans as part of the package. NEU has been proven to be unaffordable for most low/lower-middle kids. OP, have you looked at schools that will meet your need or any that will give you full scholarships based on your stats?</p>

7

<p>He can’t necessarily apply to schools that meet full need because they will all use CSS-PROFILE and take into account his stepfather’s income - which may be considerable.</p>

<p>I think his stepfather’s attitude is deplorable. He didn’t just marry some random woman - he married a woman with a child and family. That family doesn’t go away like magic.</p>

8

<p>

</p>

<p>Before you brand him a dog, please note that he does not have a high income and there are at least 3 younger children to consider. It’s not clear if he some children of his own, but that’s often the case.</p>

<p>Schools that guarantee to meet 100% of need are going to be his best bet, barring substantial merit aid. OP, look at the schools listed under financial aid pledges on the Project on Student Debt website. In NY, Hamilton, Colgate, Cornell, and UB (instate safety, but has full scholarships available) may be good choices for you.</p>

9

<p>

FAFSA will take a stepfather’s income in account as well.</p>

10

<p>Thanks for the responses. </p>

<p>First off, despite my feelings, I think offering an opinion about him and the marriage is out if the question, so if we could refrain from that, it would be nice. Marriage isn’t always the best for children, regardless of financial aid and “entitlement” issues- especially when this is a third remarriage. Deplorable is an understatement concerning his role in a "family. " forgive my digression, but my feeling of “entitlement” comes from broken promises and 4 years of forward thinking. </p>

<p>I called BU today, and they actually said that if I get accepted into the honors program, my package would most likely stay at the EFC. Same with GW. I have yet to call full-need schools’ offices, but my guidance counselor said I will not have to list my stepfather down if my family does not use any of his income at all, an this was done for previous students. Any thoughts?
And yeah, Profile schools are out of the question.</p>

11

<p>GW and BU are both PROFILE SCHOOLS!</p>

<p>Your GC is wrong. The federal government REQUIRES that your stepfather’s income and assets be listed on the FAFSA. The rules for completing the PROFILE require that your step father’s income/assets be listed.</p>

12

<p>I can understand my GC being wrong, thanks for pointing that out. But BU reps told me over the phone that they accept FASFA? gotta look into that, thanks for pointing that out.</p>

13

<p>Boston University uses both the FAFSA AND the CSS Profile for awarding financial aid. They use the FAFSA to award federally funded aid…and the Profile to award institutional aid. Also…BU does NOT guarantee to meet full financial need…and they do NOT. (parent speaking from experience here…my son is a BU graduate). </p>

<p>I think you need to call BU again and discuss this with them. There is no way they are going to waive the Profile for you if it is required (and according to their website, it is).</p>

<p>If you are really a competitive admit for the honors college at BU, you should be looking at some schools where you might garner significant merit aid. What ARE your SAT/ACT scores and your GPA?</p>

14

<p>Op listed stats as</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Op’s stats will need a little bump to place him in merit money consideration at BU. Op also needs to keep in mind that the honors college only accepts between 70 and 90 students each year. there will be others coming to the table with more competitive stats, so he is definitely not a lock for the honors college.</p>

15

<p>Yes, those schools take FAFSA, but also require CSS Profile.</p>

<p>but my guidance counselor said I will not have to list my stepfather down if my family does not use any of his income at all, an this was done for previous students. Any thoughts?</p>

<p>and, your GC is very wrong and shouldn’t be giving out such poor advice under the authority of being a GC. Ugh! If she doesn’t know how FAFSA is filled out by now, she should resign. Seriously. </p>

<p>*I called BU today, and they actually said that if I get accepted into the honors program, my package would most likely stay at the EFC. *</p>

<p>Can you clarify? What does that mean “stay at the EFC”? Right now, you don’t have an EFC do you? You won’t be submitting FAFSA until after Jan, so what could those words mean? Your EFC will include your SD’s income.</p>

<p>Can you clarify…about how much is your mom/SD’s total income? How
many children are at home? 4 including you? For a family of 6, if both parents earn a lowish income, you may still have a lowish EFC.</p>

<p>Are you retesting? your M+CR may not be high enough for merit or a preferential FA package.</p>

16

<p>My ACT composite is 34 (all sections across). Better than my SAT.</p>

<p>What I mean by EFC is that before her remarriage, my estimated contribution was 2,000, consulting the 2010 fiscal year and multiple surveys offered by my school to estimate it. They proved accurate for seniors last year. </p>

<p>But yes, if I can’t get the right packages, I am aware SUNY is my best bet, if I can’t get aid elsewhere. </p>

<p>Thanks for the facts. I don’t think there’s really too much more to be said, since I’m not up for publishing my family’s detailed finances and I might as well cast the net and see what comes back.</p>

17

<p>The new husband may be terrified at the notion of putting multiple kids through college. (I would be!). Instead of being hostile, tell him that you are worried about college costs and that you are working hard to do as much as possible to make college affordable (including applying to some smaller, lesser known, in state colleges). </p>

<p>My own father remarried when I was in grad school. It was really, really hard to have another adult in my life (especially one I didn’t pick) but I was determined to be polite (that was the standard I set for myself). It turns out the dear lady was rather terrified of me – and some of the things she said to be “helpful” were really things she was just blathering to fill air space. Years later I have come to love and respect her very much. </p>

<p>So, determine that you will be polite and respectful – not because of anyone’s fine qualities (or lack thereof) but because you want to be a polite and respectful individual. I promise, this determination will pay off for you in some way in the years to come. </p>

<p>Meanwhile, it does seem like you have some “bumper sticker” pride going. BU and Georgetown? You’ll be in the crowd of kids who arrive with their sports cars and money to burn. There you will be with no change to even order a latte. That makes for a very hard, long four years. </p>

<p>Not only are these expensive schools, they don’t have easy acceptance rates. You could easily be a great student and fine person and still not be accepted. </p>

<p>You need to play some poker here. You have a few good cards (hopefully grades, EC’s, SAT’s) but you don’t hold all aces (full ability to pay, legacy status, perfect scores). So spread out and play your hand at a few other colleges. </p>

<p>Get those applications cranked out. You will NOT know the financial aid picture until next April. Sorry, but that is how the game is played. So next April, you might get</p>

<p>1) Acceptance Georgetown, all loans, no grants or scholarships
2) Acceptance Roanoke College, strong grant package
3) Denied BU
4) Acceptance Lemoyne College, special scholarship offered (a college listed as a Best Value). </p>

<p>Then, at that point, you sit down and think through your options. Before you order the Georgetown sweatshirt, look at some loan repayment charts and suddenly some of your other options might look more tempting.</p>