Full-ride to school I hate or 30k to school I love?

Perhaps your parents care about the cost. Unless you can come up with the money on your own you are out of luck. You could enlist in the military which provides good college benefits.

Have you tried writing a letter of appeal to the school you love or the $18000 school. First call financial aid. Ask them about the appeal process. Then follow it, include a copy of your full ride and ask if they can meet you somewhere in the middle. Maybe they will say no, but maybe they will offer you a bit more money. No harm in trying.

I had no choice but to go to a school I hated for financial reasons. Not only that, but I had to live at home and use my student loan money to pay rent to my parents. I had been accepted to two other schools I loved, but couldn’t go to. I admit, those 4 years stank, but they were over quickly and it’s now almost 40 years in the past. My goal was to attend law school so I powered through college with that goal in mind. Came time for law school and I couldn’t afford my dream school, so I attended the school that gave me a free ride. I met my H there. Five kids and almost 30 years of marriage later, I don’t regret the course my education took. I am a lawyer, with a career I love and a family I adore. I don’t even think about college anymore.

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@Creekland Firstly. I wasn’t targeting your thoughts specifically. I really respect your views and posts immensely. I would have cc”d you. Just that your post reminded me of the general thought that is common on CC.

And perfectly valid for sure!

I just was offering an equally valid but different viewpoint.

And I most certainly understand what you mean. I just disagree that this type of enlightened scholarship and discourse can only happen at x school or within x range of student - this is where we part company.

And I also think one usually delves into deeper topic specific discussions with classmates during in class discussions and group study.

But the late night comparisons and debates of literary giants and then mesning of life can happen at most big schools. Full stop.

And they don’t require large numbers, just enough. And I really have never heard or seen my student or my in experience spent countless hours rehashing regressions or CAPM models. Football books movies theatre and life was 90 percent of it. And even a dim bulb like me was happy my friends didn’t exclude me from their lively debates.

OP - I haven’t read through all of the responses, but I’m kind of with your parents here. You have no idea how much of a burden student loans are. Take another look at the school where you were accepted - are there any up-sides? If not, I think a gap year might be in order. If you try again next year with another list, give University of Scranton a look. I know a kid who was dead set on another school, but Scranton offered him a full ride. And I think they might have your intended major.

you might get better advice if you name the schools

Have you gone to the school and had an open talk with a counsler?. Meet with a few professors also. Your view might change.

Were you admitted to the honors college?
You will have a chance to be a super star at college.

Also I assure you nobody drags you to parties.

At the end of the day you have to be happy your mental health is crucial , don’t taje that for granted . With that said having no student loan debt would be ideal so be sure school A is not an option . I haven’t read through the response 
 how many times have you visited ? Can you visit again ? This time with a completely open mind 
 embracing all the possibilities? If you still can’t see yourself there for 4 years you probably need to move on . Work as much as possible between now and when school starts . Honestly at the end of the day you have to be happy !

Why neuroscience??

So
decline all of your acceptances this year. Take a gap year and do whatever you want to do
including finding affordable colleges that you DO want to attend
and applying for 2020 admission.

This unaffordable college isn’t going to suddenly become affordable


And the one you “hate” is unlikely to become one you love.

How much CAN your parents pay per year? Find out that number.

OP has not told us what financial options he has or whether his family is willing or able to pay anything. Without that, we really can’t give good advice.

However, I think its important to remember that the vast majority of kids in this country do not get the “hollywood” experience of four years at a country club like institution, living in a dorm and having picnics on the quad. Most kids make due as best they can with local schools, living at home, community college and working. I have said many times that “fit” is a luxury. Its wonderful to have if you can get it, but its not the most important element. The most important element is realizing that for most people, college is a means to an end – it is a means to a better future, a better career and wonderful opportunities that only open to people with degrees.

If OP can’t go to the best “fit” college, he is still luckier than the vast majority of kids who have no affordable college options at all. He can certainly decline these offers and take a gap year and try again, but if his parents are unwilling to offer more money, he may not be able to do better than “free.”

@TomSrOfBoston : Regarding your post #17 in this thread. You misread the school’s statement regarding gap years for working or maturation. States that gap years for such reasons would not be granted.

I wonder whether this statement was with respect to those receiving scholarships & wanting to keep the scholarship even though taking a gap year.

Typically, taking a gap year for work or maturation is an acceptable reason.

P.S. OP, if admitted to the state university’s honors college, then your experience could be different than you think.

@hedgehog77 - There is a difference between deferring enrollment (which is what the information you posted from the university website is addressing), and taking a true gap year instead of enrolling anywhere at all. Questions that you need to address in order to make the better decision for yourself include (but aren’t limited to):

  1. What is your family truly ready, willing, and able to pay for your education? Something? Nothing? Are there any conditions on what you study, where you study, or for how long? Is the truth that they really, really needed you to get this full ride, but were afraid to say so? Did they initially believe that it would be OK for you to go anywhere, but had no idea what the costs could be? (If so, next time around run the Net Price Calculators at each college/university website to get an idea of costs.)

  2. Is the full ride scholarship something that you can turn down now, but apply for again in the future? Or is it something that is only available in the year you graduate from high school? For example if you would find a really interesting job and work for two or three years before going to college, would your in-state status and high school record qualify you to apply for it then?

  3. Much of forensic science is rooted in biology and chemistry. Neuroscience is rooted in biology. What specific coursework could you find at the full-ride place that would prepare you to move forward in either of those fields? What research projects are the individual faculty members engaged in? Where do their top students end up after graduation? Where did those professors earn their own advanced degrees? How much research are they publishing?

  4. What are your grades and ACT/SAT scores? Where else did you apply, and why did those places make that list? If you were starting over today, which places would you now include on your list, and which (other than the full-ride option) would you exclude because of projected cost or really bad fit?

  5. What, exactly, is available for entertainment on the full-ride campus and/or in that town? How often does the theater or dance department have performances? Does the art department have an exhibition space, and what are the hours that it is open? Is there a community theater group in town, and how many performances does it put on each year? What clubs appear to be functioning on campus?

  6. Did you check out TripAdvisor.com or AtlasObscura.com or AirBnB.com to look for things to do in that community or nearby? The student you spoke with who only eats on campus and goes to bars, might just not have the interest/money/time to do the things you think you’d like to do.

You might hate the school that offered you a free ride, but I guarantee you are also going to hate living at home with your parents, working a minimum wage job, and doing college applications all over again while all your friends are gone, off at college, meeting new people and having fun. So think long and hard before you decide a gap year is the right choice.

Which state school ?

This is important to know in order to make meaningful observations & suggestions, as well as to determine whether OP"s assessment & fears are reasonable.

Go full ride, it’s not worth the debt or financial burden. The school may be known for partying, but that is typically associated with Greek Life, which is 100% optional. Go to the school and find your people. Odds are, there’s gonna be people like you who don’t want to be there for that scene either.

Take the full ride offer and count your blessings. There are lots of students who cannot afford to go away to college.
OP does not give any valid reasons to not attend the big state school, other than “it is middle of nowhere” or “there are no decent places to eat”, which shows immaturity.
In a big state school, you will find a wide variety of students. I am sure you can find your peers among the scholars or in honors college.
Take this great opportunity and do not look back. You will be thankful 10 years later, for not having any student loans.

It seems to me that your hatred of this particular state university (to which you personally chose to apply, and which has accepted you – congratulations) is just too much for you to overcome. So don’t go there.

There are hundreds of good schools to which you could have applied, many of which would have been as affordable as the one you hate. This didn’t happen, unfortunately. Many students take a gap year to earn money for school, or attend community college to significantly reduce overall educational costs before transferring to their expensive dream school. You seem unwilling to do either, which limits your options.

From your posts, it appears that you may actually feel resentment toward your parents for this problem that you have personally created. That’s not good for anyone concerned, and is bigger and more important than the question of where you go to school. I urge you to empathize with the position in which you have put your parents, and to take ownership of this messy situation. You’ve presented them with one terribly mismatched school and another you can’t afford, and you claim that a gap year isn’t possible. This puts them under significant pressure to pay $30K for your preferred school. To resent them in any way for not wanting to do it would be truly unfair.

Hopefully, you are willing to take the advice others have offered here, and apply now to schools with rolling admissions or join the military. You still have options, including doing a service program for a year and then reapplying. A year spent working, or choosing to attend community college, would be realistic possibilities as well.

I also agree with others’ suggestions to speak with the financial aid department at your dream school. I’d recommend looking into campus employment and a summer job. Figure out if you can significantly reduce that $30K figure. Is there an amount that is more comfortable for your parents?

That said, if you personally will be funding your own education, and your parents’ position is simply advisory, then you do have the freedom to do what you’d like.

I hope this all works out for the best. The situation is frustrating and your disappointment is palpable, but hopefully you can either figure out a way to reduce the $30K or find another great educational path.

Congratulations on your acceptances and good luck in the coming years.

You’re talking about $30,000 for each of four years - $120,000 for a bachelor’s degree, right. That’s not insignificant and frankly a bachelor’s degree is a bachelor’s degree, except maybe from Ivy/near-Ivies, which probably impresses certain employers. Maybe get your bachelor’s for “free” do some serious exploration of what your true passion is, and save any financial support from your parents for a graduate degree. If you knock your grades out of the park and get as serious an education as possible from the state school, your parents might be more inclined to help fund further education in the future if they have the means to do so.

They have a right to consider their own future/retirement. If you can receive a college education without them, you could choose to be proud to do so.

My two cents. Best wishes!

I think this pretty much sums it up. If one generally engages in common life (sports, fashion, Hollywood, etc), then they are likely to find a peer group at any level of college, top to bottom. If one really enjoys engaging in research and projects and can’t even name most of the major league sports teams or Hollywood stars, some schools aren’t going to work - esp those that don’t even offer research. It in no way implies Top 20 or bust though. It just means there are some schools where one will have a tough time finding a peer group. The kids I know who feel quite at home at higher level research Us (including many state schools) are those who want to talk about their research project while rehearsing for a music production (or similar).

But
 reading more from the OP, I’m debating if this is truly their situation or if they merely don’t like the area of School A. Still, if they’ve convinced themselves that it’s awful and have a closed mind, it is likely to be that way. They are better off coming up with a Plan B they like and should be warned that a Plan B involving high debt (like they are talking about) will not be better for them for years to come.

I also agree with a PP that they should not be blaming this on parents. On CC there may be many who can come up with 30K per year without blinking, but for most families out there this isn’t the case.