<p>My mother talked a couple of days ago to one of her friends, whose son had a 4.0/2400 and was a recruited athlete. He managed to get a full-ride to ASU Vanilla (presumably the football aid and merit aid stacked). Mom was pleased at her son's success, but two years later, he got into a world of trouble (living a laid back lifestyle, wrong sorts of friends, poor relationships, not the best GPA), had to drop out, and has been in struggling to catch up to where he should be.</p>
<p>What my mom took away from this convo was that full-rides at universities sap any of the drive to make yourself useful and succeed, because, "hey, it's not my money that's paying for this, I can goof off and there won't be any financial repercussions". She's using this story to try and push me away from LSU, for me an OOS with lots of probable cash, and towards a California university that isn't even in our normal budget, but which she (don't know about my dad) would be willing to pay for using her retirement savings (and not just my 529). I can't help but think that this is some cleverly concocted excuse to get me to drop LSU, because she was trying to push me away from there before all of this happened for a multitude of other reasons (humid weather, crime???) and towards a closer, safer, better Cali school.</p>
<p>My question is: have any of you had this happen to your child? Did they get a full-ride and then self-destruct? Or is my mom just panicking?</p>
<p>P.S.: If retirement account option falls through, mother wants me to use advice of private counselor to secure additional financial aid to make 40K+ colleges affordable. This consists solely of writing somewhere on the application "Regardless of my parent's financial statistics, I won't be able to attend your school unless I receive $X in aid.". Am I alone in thinking that's a horrible idea?</p>
<p>Writing that won’t increase your chance of getting sufficient financial aid or scholarships.</p>
<p>There is also a range of prices between full ride and $40,000 per year. If you can get a full ride scholarship (many of which do have some residual miscellaneous costs after paying for tuition, books, room, and board), you can also get full tuition or other levels of scholarships at various schools.</p>
<p>Also, if you do get a full ride merit scholarship, your parents’ no longer have the normal veto power over your college choice, since you will not depend on their money or financial aid form cooperation.</p>
<p>Yes, there is a range. Mother is pushing for me to beg to Stanford, which is 60K. I’m applying IS to ASU Barrett for $15K, UNC-CH, NCSU, TAMU also put me somewhere below $20K. USC and Duke are long shots. Those are the schools I’ve narrowed it down to.</p>
<p>Interesting way to think about it…I would, however, depend on money to get to the campus, etc. from my home half a country away. Plus, I’m not sure I would want to cause such a relationship rift. But still, interesting thought.</p>
<p>How are UNC-CH, NCSU, and TAMU assuredly less than $20,000 for an out-of-state student (unless you are National Merit Finalist for TAMU)? They do offer various scholarships, but they are competitive.</p>
<p>Stanford offers no merit scholarships; have you checked the net price calculator? But Stanford is extremely selective for admissions.</p>
<p>Your mom needs to have a sit down with a guidance counselor or someone knowledgeable about college admissions and financing. That person will explain that writing “I need money. Please send it to me” is ineffective. That person will also explain that finding a college that is affordable and meets your educational needs is Job 1 right now. Hankering after Stanford isn’t a good use of anyone’s time, if the need based aid they will give you (assuming you can get in) will be inadequate.</p>
<p>No, they aren’t assuredly. I’m crossing my fingers, and I’ve got suitable safeties. </p>
<p>Yes, Stanford, Caltech, HM, they don’t offer financial aid, merit wise. But neither do Harvard and Yale, and that’s where Mr. Miracle Counselor stiff-armed his way to full-rides. Mom believes that if he could do it, anyone can.</p>
<p>If you’re paying the private counselor, firing him would both save money to be used for tuition and improve the quality of advice you are getting. </p>
<p>Just read some of the threads in the Bama forum. There are stories of kids there who went on full rides (or close to it) with fantastic results. Show it to your mom.</p>
<p>Typically students who get a full ride need to maintain a minimal GPA to keep their funding, so there is actually incentive not to let things go. This can vary by school. The bigger question (if you get a full ride) is whether the GPA needed is realistic for the major you wish to attempt, and whether your parents will fund you if you are working hard but fall a bit below and lose your merit aid. It seems to me that this provides incentive to do well.</p>
<p>If you are taking out loans or getting need based aid, you can continue to receive aid for up to eight semesters if you are enrolled full-time. If you have a bad semester and/or your GPA takes a nosedive but you haven’t been suspended or dismissed, you can continue to receive aid. </p>
<p>For USC the minimum is 2.0 now. I think a few of D1’s friends lost the trustee scholarships and had to pay, so they are changing now from the 3.0 minimum to 2.0 minimum for scholarship.</p>
<p>One of my kids, now a junior, has a full ride. He needs a 3.0 to keep the scholarship, has a 3.8+. His younger brother is just starting. Fingers crossed. I think it has to do with the individual, his/her situation, personality/self discipline and unpredictable social influences at the college. You should be able to keep your scholarship if you put academics above social activities. Most students I know who lost scholarships just partied too much–or else got depressed/homesick/had mental health issues.</p>
<p>I can tell you plenty of stories of kids who messed up and flunked out or quit college while their parents were paying through the nose and they were racking up a ton of debt. There really is no connection between cost + motivation, and ASU has something of a reputation as a party school. So it might have just been a kid who is immature and perhaps also had poor study habits – sometimes really bright kids coast along and get A’s in high school without much effort, but then don’t have the self-discipline to keep up in college.</p>
<p>It is a terrible idea for your mom to use money from her retirement savings to pay for your college- and you shouldn’t go to any college where that will be a source of funding. Your 529 – fine. But unless you want to be saddled with the responsibility of supporting your mother when you are in your 30’s or 40’s and have your own children to care provide for – you really don’t want to allow your mom to undermine her own ability to be self-sufficient in her old age. </p>
<p>If your mom is forcing you to apply to schools that you think are unaffordable and that you don’t want to attend, then writing that stuff about the financial aid will probably help to assure that you are rejected. ;)</p>
<p>HMC has some merit scholarships that a decent number of students there get, but they’re only for $10K a year (they have a handful of full-tuition scholarships that I doubt are easy to get).</p>
<p>The HMC merit scholarships are tough to get. My D had 2380 superscored SAT, 800 Math II, 800 Lit scores and did not even get one of the $10K ones. A male from California isn’t too likely to get one unless you have a hook (and I doubt “athlete” is a hook at Mudd, so that probably leaves URM or legacy).</p>
<p>It is astonishing how much damage one conversation with an ill-informed “expert” can do. I have no idea who this person is that you talked to, but he did not “strong arm” his way to full rides to the schools you mentioned. He must have truly had financial need that was verifiable through tax returns, etc. Which it sounds like you do not have. </p>
<p>Look at it this way. Lots of students have parents who pay their full college bills, even spending money and books. It might as well be a full scholarship. They do not all (or even mostly) flunk out. It is a terrible idea for your mom to tap her retirement money to pay for your college. You should do 2 years at a California CC and transfer before you allow her to do that. Not saying you won’t have other affordable choices, which you then should take. But don’t let her mess up her financial future. You could just end up paying her expenses…</p>
<p>It is not clear to me what the net price calculators show for the schools you are listing, or what your stats are (so whether you have a chance at admission, or merit at the schools that offer it).</p>
<p>My D has a full ride for athletics (D1). She is starting her freshman year this month. One of the things that athletes have is mandatory study hall, every week to the tune of 8 hrs a week. If she falls short of the 8 hrs, even by minutes, she is suspended from the team for 1 week. The study hall is mandatory for Freshman and if they are successful in their studies/grades, they do not have to do the study hall after freshman year. If they are borderline, I am sure the coach will require that she keep going. I do not think that work ethic is lowered because a student has a full ride for athletics.</p>
<p>Meep. I’m actually an AZ resident (and not an athlete), so Cali schools would be out of state. We can afford $25K yearly from only my 529, which ASU/UoA will fall under (along with maybe other schools that I mentioned above).</p>
<p>Thank you all once again for the responses. My father disagrees with her regarding the situation and will pay my app fees for ASU. Now to convince her</p>
<p>Just say “Mom, do you really think I will throw my future away by flunking out of college regardless of who is paying for it?” Then mutter darkly about the athlete lifestyle getting that kid into trouble, heh.
In my experience, scholarships that require maintaining a min GPA actually motivate students a lot.</p>