Gap Year Job Difficulties/Unrealistic Parents

Hi, everyone

I plan on applying during the 2018 cycle, but I’m in a bit of a dilemma.

Background: I recently graduated, and the plan that I’ve outlined with my advisor is to study for the MCAT and take it in January, work full-time or part-time in the interim to save up for applications and interview traveling expenses, and get my apps together before June 1st.

However, there are a few problems:

  1. I’m broke and I’ve had no luck in finding a job and I’m still having to submit a ton of applications. The job market is just plain awful and I’m either overqualified or underqualified. I’ve applied to at least 50 positions in the past two weeks so far, and nothiing…

  2. My parents don’t understand how the med school application process works no matter how many times I try explaining it to them (they think that I can magically get in somewhere by next year if I hurry and take the MCAT in September when I’m absolutely not ready and apply in October; definitely not going to happen, as admissions are rolling)

  3. I want to get an MPH in addition to an MD at some point, but I don’t think that a 1-year MPH program is realistic for me at the moment, as I don’t think that I can study for the GRE and submit grad school apps while effectively studying for the MCAT (especially if I were to get a job). My plan is to apply MD/MPH and MPH at the same time (with just my MCAT score) and see which one (or both) ends up working out. If the MD/MPH ends up working, then I’m obviously going to take that, or just apply MD and get an MPH later. Plus, as it stands, most 1-year MPH program deadlines fit into an awkward time frame that would require me to do a third gap year, which I really don’t want to do.

  4. If I try explaining all of this to my parents, they get defensive and say that I should just call med school off because I’m not working within their preferred time frame (which is totally unrealistic). They feel like gap years are a waste of time. Like, I understand their concerns (they want me to have an advanced degree asap), but they just don’t understand what’s actually required of me since my main goal is to at least get an MD. That’s my first priority and it’s really what I want to do.

All of this unnecessary pressure is really discouraging and it’s negatively affecting my concentration and study habits. And given how rigid my parents are in what they think they know, I’m legitimately scared that I’ll be kicked out of the home for “wasting time” (even though I’m studying for the MCAT and doing everything that I can to get some kind of job) or even be forced to pay rent in my parents’ home when I’m strictly trying to save up. Currently, I’m doing what I can to help out around the house to compensate (cook, clean, walk the dog, etc), but that’s not enough.

I’d appreciate some advice on how to handle this (and some ideas on how I can get some type of job).

My GPA is fine (c: 3.93, s: 3.97), but I REALLY need to work on my MCAT score (my most recent practice exam was a 502 and I’m aiming for a 515+). Also, I’m a URM.

One of the most important aspect of a successful adult person in a society is to overcome adversity. Your major obstacle right now is to get financial support from your parent during this application process. You have to convince your parents that you need money to apply for med school and take Mcat. In the mean time, try to find work, if you failed 50 times, try another 50, that is life you have to face. If you are discouraged by job hunting, you won’t have too much future as its going to be always a priority until your retirement…

BTW, med school does not have to be one year after graduation, if you cannot do it in one year, do it later.

Warning–tough love ahead!

You are now a grown up. You need to start acting like one. If your parents are placing unrealistic pressure on you and you are unhappy living in their home–move out. Couch surf with friends if you have to.

  1. It’s unrealistic to think you can find a career-type or professional job in 2 weeks or 50 applications. It make take months or even a year or more. In the mean time, look for and take any job you can get. I mean any job-- waiting/bussing tables, fast food counter service, lawn & landscaping work, construction, nannying/babysitting, tutoring. Sure you don’t need a degree to get those kinds of jobs but it will provide spending money (or rent!) and it will give you an employment history–which is something employers look for when hiring. Even a part-time job will help.

Since your resume isn’t getting any bites, can you have it reviewed by the career center at your college for suggestions on how to improve it? Are you tailoring your resume and cover letter specifically for each job you apply for? One size does not fit all when it comes to resumes and jobs.

Are you being pro-active or reactive when it comes to your job search? You need to pro-active–as in actively seeking out jobs by contacting companies, not just passively sending out resumes to positions you see posted online.

You may want to try signing up with a temp agency.

Have you considered getting a CNA? It takes 3-6 weeks of training and makes you instantly employable. Minimum wage, but you’re working in a clinical contact position. Or a phlebotomy certificate? You should be able to find training for both at your local CC.

  1. Turn a deaf ear to their comments. Or move out if you can’t deal with the nagging/pressure. Like I said, you’re now a grown up. Take control and responsibility for your own life. IMO, you are not thinking strategically. You need to be thinking more about your long term goal (med school) and how to achieve it whether you have your parents’ support or not.

  2. Now is not the time to be applying for a MPH. Many med schools offer a dual MD/MPH with no GRE required.

BTW, what is your Plan B? What if you don’t do well on the MCAT? What if don’t get into med school? You should have a definite Plan B worked out–including a way to support yourself while you put Plan B into action.

  1. It’s not unreasonable for your parents to expect you to pay rent. Many parents charge their kids rent if they move back home after graduating from college. (Some use as an incentive/encouragement for their kids to move out. Some because they need the $$ to meet expenses.) If you want to get on your parents’ good side–offer to pay rent before they even ask.

And if you’re not able to save enough money to apply for med school next because you’re paying rent–med school will still be there the year after that. Think long term.

You should not be sitting around he house studying 24/7. Find a couple of places to volunteer on a regular weekly basis so your parents can see you’re actively engaged doing something. You may want to consider involving them in your job search so they can see you are actively looking for a job.

@WayOutWestMom This is very helpful. I actually went out today to my local board of education to apply for a tutoring position since the school year is about to start up (it’s better than nothing and it’s more likely to be immediate).

Also, my plan B (if MD doesn’t work out immediately) is to do an MPH. My plan A is to apply MD/MPH in June 2018, and in December 2018, apply for MPH programs. That way, I will have something to do in 2019 that will work towards my long-term goals and I’ll only have to study for one test (if I do well on the MCAT).

I know that now isn’t the time to get an MPH, but my parents don’t seem to understand that (hence why I said that they don’t understand how intensive and how long the application process is for MD). They assume that it’s like grad school or law school. I tried explaining to them that the application process is nowhere near the same, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. When I mentioned that I wouldn’t be able to go to med school until Fall/Summer 2019, they flipped out (not in a good way). They seem to have a bit of a superiority complex because they have PhDs.

I’d like to volunteer somewhere, and I already volunteer at a Children’s hospital once a week, but my parents are kind of not making a longer-term volunteer position an option for me (it’s either get a paying job or go to school). Plus, I need the money.

I understand that I’m an adult and that I need to be making my own decisions, but I hate seeing my parents upset. It’s something that I need to work on. I should be prioritizing my own needs. They already have their lives together.

If push comes to shove, I’ll try to find an apartment that I can rent or couch surf with some friends from school.

Spend as little time at home as you possibly can. Find someplace else to be. Think about studying at the public library or a coffeeshop. (Actually studying in either is good practice for taking the MCAT. The exam room isn’t quiet or unbusy.)

Are your parents immigrants to the US? Did they earn their PhDs overseas?

I ask because I know lots of PhDs (DH has one and I hold a couple of graduate degrees) and it takes just as long to go through the PhD application process as it does to apply to med school. You also can’t apply at the last minute and expect to be successful. You may want to gently remind them of this.

Also remember that your parents are likely worried about you and your future. They may just have a dysfunctional way of expressing it. Try to be forgiving in your heart even if it’s driving you crazy. Being angry or upset isn’t productive.

Sounds like finding a job should be your #1 priority right now. Keep plugging away.

Try applying for tutor positions at the local CC too. Also you can start your own private tutoring business. There are websites that will allow you post your subject area expertise and hourly rates. Also post physical signs advertising tutoring around campus if you live near a college or CC. Contact local high school counselors and see if they keep a list of tutors they hand out to parents. D2 did private tutoring in the college town where she worked before she started med school. Depending on the local going rates you can earn up to $25/hour or more. (BTW, D2 found college students are poor & often can’t pay for tutors. Parent of high school kids, otoh, are more likely to have money and be willing to spend it on tutoring. Keep this in mind.)

One more idea since the school year is coming up. See if you cna get on the substitute teachers’list at with your local schools. You may need to get fingerprinted and take 1-3 day training seminar that the school district will provide, but subbing pays OK and can provide fairly steady employment.

Medical students need to be a bit selfish otherwise you won’t make it through the process. One thing that is critical for being a successful adult–the knowledge & acceptance that you can’t always make your parents happy. You need to be happy with your life first.

Good luck!

@WayOutWestMom
They earned their PhD’s in the US. My parents are US citizens. They can just be absurdly hardcore sometimes. I usually trust their advice on a lot of things, but they know next to nothing about the medical school process (my mom in particular thinks that I could get a scholarship with a 500 MCAT score). Ha! Yeah, right! I’m aiming for a 515+
Thank you so much for your advice! I really appreciate it! This is helpful.