Gay Acceptance?

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Alabama
1

<p>So, I know that Alabama (the state) in general isn’t gay-friendly, but would I have a tough time coming out of the closet at Alabama? Will I feel extremely confined or unable to be myself? I’m not super feminine or anything, but I don’t want people to know me simply as “the gay kid.”</p>

<p>Also, is the gay dating scene scanty? I’m not talking about hook-ups. I mean, will it be really hard to find other gay guys to date and have serious relationships with? I just don’t want to feel like the only gay person at U of Alabama–obviously I won’t be, but it’s all about perception–like I do here in Louisiana :/</p>

2

<p>UA has had a Gay student group since the mid 80s. There was a gay bar in Tuscaloosa when I was there. It opened in 1990. From my memory, gay students felt somewhat empowered in the early 90s. With the advent of the internet, it closed down. I would go on some of the gay internet sites and ask the gays who actually live in Tuscaloosa or who go to UA what they think. I imagine that most of them think that life outside of Alabama would be much more “accepting,” but you need to get specifics from them.</p>

3

<p>i think there are probably a fair number of gays at UA. i heard that one of the fraternities has a lot of gay guys in it. :confused: </p>

<p>there are a few that post on twitter (with names like bamagayboy etc).</p>

<p>i don’t imagine it is as “gay friendly” as some other college campuses would be. depends on what you are comparing it to, though.</p>

4

<p>Well, I’m considering Alabama because of the significant amount of money that they offered me. Vanderbilt, Duke, and UVa would probably be too much money for my parents and I to handle. SMU might be affordable, but I have to keep Alabama on my list because of the sheer amount of money that I’d be given. Plus, Alabama would give me more AP credit. So, I just wanted to know if I’d be alright at Alabama should I choose to attend.</p>

5

<p>I mean the one thing that intuitively comes to mind is at a larger school, there will be a bigger dating pool, except that you’re likely to hear way more homophobic comments than at Duke etc. That’s going to force people in the closet and I’m sure you’re sick of those comments by now. </p>

<p>The others don’t strike me as gay meccas, but they will accept you and you’ll find a tight-knit gay scene, plus the surrounding area won’t be red neck city. They’re outstanding schools that are hard to turn down for anyone, and I bet UVa will give some decent aid. IIRC you’ve been throwing around ‘going crazy’ ‘miserable’ etc, and I just really hope you end up at a place where you can finally be yourself. AP credits don’t mean anything compared to that, IMO.</p>

6

<p>One thing that I believe is hugely in Alabama’s favor when it comes to tolerance is the huge out of state population. This incoming class is 55% out of state, making it a real melting pot. My son is coming from one of the best represented states, Illinois. I can tell you from what I’ve seen, a wide variety of students sexuality are well accepted (gay, bi, trans)…the kids do judge each other on any of this, which is quite refreshing. My opinion is, the more homogenous the student population is, the more pressure there will be to “fit the standard mold”, the more diversity, be it ethnic, georgraphical, the more accepting.</p>

<p>On a side note, I can tell you that SMU is probably the most prententious, snotty school I’ve ever seen. I cannot imagine it’s a very accepting environment.</p>

7

<p>Seems I’m not along in my assessment of SMU’s intollerance. According to the most recent Princeton Review, they make the top 12 list of most gay un-friendly schools in the nation, along with Brigham Young, Notre Dame & Texas A&M.</p>

<p>[The</a> 12 Least LGBT-Friendly Colleges In The Country: Princeton Review List](<a href=“The 12 Least LGBT-Friendly Colleges In The Country: Princeton Review List | HuffPost College”>The 12 Least LGBT-Friendly Colleges In The Country: Princeton Review List | HuffPost College)</p>

<p>I looked over their list of the top 25 most gay friendly schools, mostly dominated by midwest and east coast schools. Alabama makes neither the good nor the bad list, leading me to believe it falls somewhere in the middle. And again, when you consider the huge number of out of state, and particularly midwest kids…that has to be a good thing for acceptance.</p>

8

<p>Well, the great thing about UA is that we do have a group for LGBTQ+ students, Spectrum ([Spectrum:</a> LGBTQA Community @ University of Alabama](<a href=“http://spectrum.ua.edu/]Spectrum:”>http://spectrum.ua.edu/)), that creates a safe space on campus for students to have discussions, meet other people, and really just be themselves. There’s no pressure to self-identify, but students are welcome to do so if they feel comfortable. In general, I haven’t really known anyone to be marginalized as “that gay student”, but I also realize that I don’t hang out with anyone who would even consider doing that. At the end of the day, it’s all a matter of whom you surround yourself with. As far as the dating scene, it’s not superb but you get by. You can usually meet someone in passing, Spectrum, or Icon (a local gay/queer- friendly club) and hit it off, so it’s definitely not impossible.</p>

9

<p>I was wondering if this sort of question would come up.</p>

<p>Are you out to your family? Having the support of your family, especially your parents if they are funding your education, is essential. I know way too many people here who can’t be out because they would be immediately disowned. I also know some who were disowned after coming out as LGBTQ+ or even as a straight ally. If you have your family’s support, both emotional and financial, you will be a lot better off. Even if you don’t have their support, things can still work out.</p>

<p>UA has had a gay-straight alliance, now known as Spectrum, for over 30 years, and has a very successful Safe Zone program in which many faculty and staff, including everyone employed by UA Housing, are members. Note too that many LGBTQ+ students are not in Spectrum. Spectrum has a great program for new students where everyone in the group goes out to dinner and does other fun activities every month or so.</p>

<p>As for dating, there is a sizable pool of people, but remember that Tuscaloosa and surrounding areas around only have around 150,000 people, so there will be less people to choose from than a larger city. Also keep in mind that a lot of people will not be out, so openly dating them may not be possible. Icon is technically an Alternative Lifestyle bar, but has a mostly LGBTQA+ clientele. It’s often joked that the best Gay Bar in Atlanta is actually the Quest in Birmingham because as a private club, it can be open 24/7. Note that one must be 19 to enter bars and clubs in Alabama.</p>

<p>Incidents of overt homophobia on or near campus are very rare and any harassment will get the harasser sent to Judicial Affairs very quickly. In the vast majority of circles you’ll be in, people won’t care that you’re gay and in fact, you will likely be one of many LGBTQ+ students. </p>

<p>College is a great time to go on dates and meet potential spouses regardless of ones sexual orientation. Being gay, you have the special benefit of having your potential dating pool increase each year as more gay students come out. I know some very attractive gay guys at UA, not to mention other members of the LGBTQ+ community, with 4.0s in difficult majors who’d make great boyfriends, husbands, and fathers.</p>

10

<p>Thanks, everyone, for your comments. I’m not out to everyone yet, but I know for a fact that my parents will never accept homosexuality because of their Christian background–they’ll always love and support me though, so being disowned would not be a problem. But it’s very reassuring to hear your thoughts! :)</p>

11

<p>Son’s best friend goes to another SEC school, and there is a very active gay community there. So, don’t be assuming that the South is all gay bashers.</p>

<p>I do wish you the best in your life and your acceptance of yourself. Don’t worry about what other people think.</p>

<p>I lost a very good friend in college to suicide because of her homosexuality, so it always saddens me to hear that young people still nowadays are struggling with this.</p>

<p>Best of luck in college experience and in your future.</p>

12

<p>Add one more OOS student, my D13, who is very supportive of gay rights. Chose UA over Vanderbilt. Good luck wherever you end up, MuffinMan17.</p>

13

<p>Going to Bama, guys. Had to turn down Vandy and Duke :confused: But I’m very thankful to be able to go to Alabama and come out with no debt (with extra perks of course). I’m hoping for the best! Thanks for all of your support! :)</p>