Not as much as you might think. All of our collegekids have had multiple classmates with LGBQT+ parents. Two have had hallmates in first year where (assigned) roommates were paired with other kids with LGBQT+ parents.
The absence of an advantage is not “discrimination”- and “social exclusion” over things they can’t control -from race to gender to physical characteristics to heritage etc, etc, etc is sadly common for massive numbers of students. People get bullied for precisely the things they can’t control - too thin OR too heavy / too book smart OR not book smart enough / too much of x / not enough of x.
I am sorry that some facts about your parents has made your life harder. If that is the most important thing about you, write an essay that shows how it has shaped you into the kind of person that colleges x, y & z are looking for. Be clear that the AOs at all of the colleges you are applying to will read a LOT of ‘this fact of my life has led to genuine challenges in my life and I have used that challenge to grow into just the kind of student you want to have on your campus’ essays- so go beyond the obvious.
Child, not diminishing the obstackes, but is not even close to the same thing. You are not a member of an oppressed minority. Writing an essay making that assertion will lead to eyerolls from the LGBTQ AO that had actual struggles.
I went to a HS where it seemed like every other kid had 2 moms or 2 dads. So, yeah.
Write about your challenges or not. But your thread will just get locked if your sole purpose is to argue with those giving their opinion.
I don’t see this as really being a hook either. These days, having 2 parents of the same sex is a lot more common than it was 10 years ago. You probably had a more stable upbringing than kids of divorced parents and we know how that topic has been overdone way too often. If you insist on writing about growing up with 2 gay parents, then write your story about why it is unique and how it made you the person you are. You don’t need that to be the theme of your essay but it can be in your essay.
A good example that someone gave my kids when they were writing their essays once was that someone can say they love math. Tons of kids love math, but how do you write about just math? Colleges want something unique. When this kid brainstormed, he actually thought about how he used and created math puzzles of some sort to invite his girlfriend to some dance and when she solved the problems there was the ask. It was unique, it was creative, and it clearly showed his love for math, without him screaming “I love math”. You want to brainstorm ideas to use. Also, there are tons of schools that have supplemental essays that ask you to share about your community, your family, etc. that you can clearly mention this. I don’t think however it is going to be the thing that colleges say “aha, we have to let him/her in”.
I remember a few years ago reading on here that people thought talking about how they overcame depression as a hook when they were applying to Ivy league schools. While great stories, I thought to myself eek, that has to be one of the most taboo subjects to write about because mental health of students is such a touchy thing and no college wants to know they’re bringing someone on with a history of mental health problems and there someone is spelling it right out for them. That person of course didn’t get in to any of the Ivies she applied to and maybe for the best.
So bottom line, write about your story, not your parents, and how it made you who you are, but find a theme to write about so the reader can find that theme even though your story may be about something else. Like solving puzzles, but a theme of loving math.
It may depend on a lot, but most applicants to selective colleges, especially private ones, are not going to get many applicants that struggle. That’s why it’s considered unique. The average income at these colleges is like in the $200K range, so most applicants are not facing any kind of economic challenge.
@theloniusmonk, you have made enough thoughtful posts on CC that you must have seen how many challenges students post about! this application season I have already seen posts on writing about eating disorders; sexuality; abuse; bullying; family breakup; medical issues for the student; medical issues in the family; death in the family (parent/siblings); repeated family moves; and more. And, fwiw, I have also seen posts from students whose families do earn $200K+/yr but there are financial or personal issues about paying for college. And the season is still young!
Writing about any of these challenges fits in the same category of challenge as the OPs situation. It requires some hard thinking and good writing to write the ‘overcoming obstacle’ essay in a way that makes it compelling to a “T-20”.
I’m not downplaying the struggles, my point is that these challenges are unique, so adcoms are not going to see a lot of them, hence why the OP asked if growing up with same-sex parents could be one.
If the AO considered having gay parents a hook or even just gave extra points for a unique experience, does the AO then have to give more points for being the adopted child of gay parents? A different race from your parents? An adopted child of gay parents of a different race who then divorced? I knew a child who was adopted by gay parents, a different race, whose parents then got divorced, and she suffered through a very public custody fight because one parent had found religion and didn’t want her daughter to be with the other parent who was gay.
Everyone has a back story. Colleges are interested in your story going forward or at least how you are growing from your experiences.
I knew a handful of kids with gay parents who had top grades and test scores, amazing essays and recommendations, excellent EC’s, yet they still didnt get accepted to T20s.
Barely anyone who applies to T20s gets in.
I can see the AO thinking “what the heck does having 2 gay parents and being bullied in wrestling have anything to do with studying econ at Harvard (for example)?” So if you somehow brought all those together to create a solid framework for why you should be admitted at a T20 for econ then maybe the AO wouldn’t put it into the automatic no pile.
The schools my kids attended have had same-sex parents/families going back to the mid-1980’s so while it might have been unusual a generation ago, and still may be unusual in certain parts of the country, it would get a big yawn where I live.
OP- you know your story better than we do. If you can frame your experiences in a way which makes you a compelling “Oh, I want to know this person better” type of applicant- great! If it’s just a “woe me, I struggled so much” tale than try for a lighter touch- many colleges have been receptive and inclusive to the LGBTQ community (students, staff, interested community members) for almost 50 years now (my own certainly was- and this was in the early 1970’s) so your story may not resonate the way you think it will.