<p>My 15 yr old S has been in dance class since he was 3 yrs old. We used to call him the “front and center boy” because in a class of all girls, they would always put him…front and center. It is still fun to sit in the audience at performances and recitals and hear little boys in the audience exclaim incredulously “There’s a boy up there!” And then we’ve heard dads try to explain quietly why “their” sons can’t take dance class. But, sadly, my now 5’10" son is currently “back and center”, except when he solos. : )</p>
<p>…though if he got bit by the bug and then the ONE DAMN PERSON in this whole family who isn’t an artist, a singer, a realtor, or a lawyer and who is in a field with actual decent job prospects changed out of nursing to be another damn performer I’d…I’d do something. I don’t know what but something BAD. lol.</p>
<p>…in fact, my daughter already has it all figured out, when she graduates she’s going to make him move to New York with her and he can get a nursing job and an apartment and let her live with him. I hear there’s a shortage of eligible bachelors there, he oughta like it. </p>
<p>So maybe I’d better be “reeeee…VEIWing…the situAtion…” haha. No no, you’d hate acting, don’t bother, son.</p>
<p>Yup, I have one who was always “Front and Center Boy”, too. Until he got taller and stronger. Now it seems he’s always “Down Under Boy”, with a cute little girl hoisted over his head.</p>
<p>My S had “happy feet” as a youngster and was quite active and so we tried putting him in dance classes (which he initially was not thrilled about attending because there were just 2 other guys at the studio) to allow him to work off some of the energy. I know someone who is on the Board of Directors of a signficant U.S. ballet company and she knew that I had a son that was taking dance lessons. Suddenly, I found myself taking my S to an audition for this company’s “Nutcracker.” The next thing I knew, my H and I were hauling him to ballet classes rather routinely - and he was given a full scholarship for attending the classes. Several years ago he auditioned for various summer intensive ballet programs and ended up attending two very prestigous summer intensive ballet programs sponsored by tippy top U.S. ballet companies. He was awarded scholarships and got to spend the summers in interesting locales. But ballet requires extreme devotion - and my S had other interests, including a winter sport and acting. He changed his focus to acting. Unfortunately, he is not much of a singer and so he did not try out for any MT programs (I wish he could sing after reading the posts on this thread!). He is in a BFA acting program, but I do believe that the reference to his ballet training on his resume was helpful when he auditioned for the BFA programs.</p>
<p>It’s so much harder for the girls…S has done well with acceptances, but he has some incredibly talented female friends with amazing resumes, yet their results have been disappointing. One in particular, who my son calls a “freak” because she is so good, applied to some of the same schools as S, with no luck. She’s having a rough time right now, and I feel so bad for her. Whenever I run into the mom, she inquires about son’s status in the admissions process, and I hesitate to say anything for fear of upsetting her. So I downplay it, but it’s kind of awkward when she presses for more information. S sees her daughter frequently (they’re in many of the same classes at the studio and have been friends for years). She also asks him for updates, and he really doesn’t know how to respond. Any suggestions for either of us?</p>
<p>MTguyMom - his friend, and I would think her mother, should surely know by now, it’s an entirely different game for the guys. You are thoughtful to be sensitive about telling her of your son’s embarrassment of riches, but really, you can’t compare what a guy gets to what a girl gets…we keep hearing of ratios of two to one girls to guys. Yet how many shows are almost the reverse ratio? There are a few female heavy shows out there, yeah, there’s a few, but there’s so many more that community and high schools just laugh bitterly at because they take 12 talented guys and 3 girls. hahaha no, not when they have to go begging for men.</p>
<p>On the national level and on Broadway there’s actual and really stiff competition, though not as much as the girls.</p>
<p>But even at college, it’s still a lot easier for the guys simply because of the numbers, and I don’t think anyone doesn’t realize that.</p>
<p>MTguyMom, I can tell from your comments that you are a good person. To be objective enough to recognize the disparity in MT acceptances of boys versus girls is impressive enough, but to be sensitive enough to be concerned about how to communicate your son’s acceptances to a fragile friend speaks volumes about your character.</p>
<p>If you and your son were friends of mine and my daughter, my suggestion would be to respond to our inquiries with honesty, and to tactfully acknowledge that you realize the selection process is absurd for girls. I would probably even appreciate it if you admitted that you didn’t know how to answer the questions without hurting our feelings. And somehow try to navigate that fine line between patronizing and showing genuine concern.</p>
<p>At the end of the day, you should be most concerned and most proud that your son is having success in the audition process. The odds may be better for guys, but you still have to be good to be accepted to most of these programs. Congratulations!</p>
<p>Oh, good points arrdad. I was thinking my post might have made it sound like it doesn’t take any talent at all as long as you are a guy: that’s not in the least true for college and professional and maybe even some community theatre in communities where guys aren’t terrified of it like our little podunk town. (though in our town, seriously, it takes talent to get a lead role but I swear if you showed up and were a guy we’d have taken you in some shows…)</p>
<p>But once you try to get into college and beyond, it takes a ton of talent. It’s just that they don’t turn away quite as many throngs of talented guys as they do the girls.</p>
<p>Thanks very much, but honestly, you’d have to have the sensitivity of a rock if you didn’t feel bad for a kid who doesn’t get into a program that’s suited to them. You know how it is, you watch them grow up and evolve as artists, they’ve been in many classes and performances with your own child for years and you get to know them pretty well. So when they experience disappointment like this, it breaks your heart just as it would if it were your own kid, knowing how outstandingly talented they are and how much they’ve invested in the pursuit of their dream. </p>
<p>I don’t know how much knowledge this particular young woman or her parents have about the competitiveness of the college audition process. I would think they’re aware of the reality because we’ve occasionally talked about it, but judging from the child’s college list and the limited number of schools she applied to, I’m not so sure. I know they don’t frequent CC, so they could very well be in the dark. It’s truly amazing how many people go into this process blind, even though they’ve been involved in theatre and training for so many years. </p>
<p>We also have another acquaintance who, again, is unbelievably talented – had the lead at her H.S. in quite a few productions and performed as a soloist at many community events. She did the audition circuit last season and didn’t get into any of the programs she applied to. So she sat out a year, took some classes at a local cc and trained to reaudition this season. And sadly, she is again without a single acceptance as of yet this year. </p>
<p>These are the girls we feel so awkward talking to about this process, and we appreciate your suggestions!</p>
<p>Wow. MTguyMom - what on earth did their list look like?</p>
<p>My D has raw talent and charm and smarts and all that stuff like everyone else but she decided to quit pretending she was going to do something else kinda late in the game and her vocals were NOT competitive. (Yet. wink.) She got great coaching, figured out what she needed to do and worked her butt off to improve and she did improve but we know that as far as vocals, she’s definitely in the “yes it’s there, but it’s not all there yet” category, and that getting into the lottery/dream schools would be a real long shot for her.</p>
<p>As it ends up she did not get into any of the lottery/dream schools - though we only tried for a handful of those anyway, though I think doing 25 of them wouldn’t have yielded any better results and would have broke us and taken away from applying to more likely schools.</p>
<p>She had two state schools with auditions but not terribly competitive, and several non auditioned BA programs at schools that were private but known to be relatively generous with aid, and now we have acceptances at two schools we know we could afford and one that we can with a stretch. There are about 4 or 5 schools that had we gone there, would probably be on that list, too. No, we are not going to be in that bunch whose list has all the names because realistically, we knew that we couldn’t afford to try for all of those (distance mattered as well) and seeing how “there” already so many of the girl’s voices are, we just knew that it was more important to go where we thought she would fit.</p>
<p>What matters is that she will, one, love her school and get an education, and two, get trained and mentored and supported her last year in her search for contacts, and I believe she will get that where she ends up. She’ll just have to be the person who puts her school on the map. ;-)</p>
<p>My heart just breaks for your friends who did not get acceptances. OH that would be hard. Did they not have any good safeties on their lists?</p>
<p>As far as talking to them - I have found that the universally appropriate way to talk to anybody about anything painful is to just LISTEN to them and acknowledge their feelings with empathy. If you feel you have some advice of any value to offer you might ask if they would like you to help them figure out what to do next but don’t be a big pushy rescuer - just let them know you are available to help figure out what to do next if they want, and that they aren’t the only amazingly talented kid who shockingly ended up with nothing. That doesn’t help them but it’s of some comfort to know they aren’t the only person in the world who apparently did it all WRONG while everyone else happily sails off to Special U. On the contrary - it’s a lottery. Their numbers just didn’t come up and it sucks, and it’s an obstacle, but one that can be overcome and in the long run they’ll certainly learn something from it. Those sound like platitudes but they sound that way because they do happen to be true. (just don’t be glib and all cheery when you say it; personally, glib and cheery makes me want to hit someone when I’m down. Gentle and soothing but pragmatic is what I need; try to help me find the hidden opportunity but can the Mary Sunshine crap. haha. Though you sound sensitive enough to realize this already.)</p>
<p>It is so sad to hear the stories of kids who have no acceptances at this point. I wish more people understood what a strange process this is. So much if it is type and fit. You can have all the talent in the world but if are simply not what the school is looking for then it doesn’t matter. </p>
<p>My D is a quirky type. We knew that going into the process and it’s why she auditioned for the number of schools that she did. Thank goodness some of them were looking for her type because she got a lot of rejections along the way. She received a very wonderful email from the head of one of the programs she applied to who told her that the faculty loved her and thought she was wonderfully talented, but she just didn’t fit into the class they were building. Seeing the class that school did build, I totally get it. But at the time it was harder to really see that.</p>
<p>It doesn’t do much for the kids in this audition cycle, but for anyone coming up - no matter how good you are, no matter how much training you have had, no matter how successful you have been up until now - PLEASE find a couple of non-audition safety schools that offer a program that you would love to attend and apply to them! If you can find one that is rolling admissions and apply in the fall so you have that safety going into auditions season, all the better. </p>
<p>The are non-audition BFA programs, and programs where you start out in the BA and then audition in freshman or sophomore year. There are BAs that look very similar to BFAs. There are so many options out there beyond what is talked about on CC. Start exploring them now. And find programs that are right for YOU. You may not take the path that other might choose, but if it gets you to your destination then what does it really matter.</p>
<p>That’s probably one of the best things a coach can do - is help build a list with a good balance. That can be done without a coach too, if someone is lucky enough to have run across someplace like this site to tell them to do it, and then with some research. But the more I reflect on the process the more I think that getting the right school list is so amazingly essential to a successful end result.</p>
<p>It would be completely possible for someone to be the most talented person ever and just somehow not manage to be the fit they wanted at every single school they went to. It’s entirely possible and apparently does happen. Just a perfect storm of back luck.
~I really liked that purse and dress analogy someone posted a while ago - if you are the most amazing blue dress ever, but they have purple shoes and a purple hat and they have to have a purple dress, then you aren’t getting in. It could happen that not a one of your auditioned schools could use a blue dress so those safeties (that you would be happy at) are essential.</p>
<p>If you think it’s tough getting into a school where YOU are paying them to take them, wait until they are auditioning for paying roles. It is incredibly difficult. Where all these dancing men come from, I don’t know, but the line is around the block even for company roles. My son’ is in his second year of auditioning and is considered relatively successful, but lives hand to mouth. It’s not an easy life and you are already thinking about the next audition even as you complete the current one.</p>
<p>There may be yet another aspect of the gender imbalance that I just heard of yesterday and hadn’t considered before.</p>
<p>As we all know, some schools weigh academics very heavily in admissions decisions. In the case of Northwestern, for example, the head of the Communications Department said the that for the theatre department they first look at the top 100 most academically qualified applicants and then start reviewing their resumes.</p>
<p>But here’s the thing. Since Northwestern admits 50 guys and 50 girls (I think), someone was speculating yesterday that not only would the girls be subject to harder scrutiny of their theatrical resumes, but they might also first be subject to higher academic standards to land in the top 50!</p>
<p>I have no way of knowing if this is true, but if so it’s yet another reason that females have to want this really badly to clear all of the hurdles that will stand in their way at times.</p>
<p>Yea as far as academics my D could not get her foot in the door to audition for some of the top programs because of the pre screening which I kinda like. It is the programs that let you audition and then you get in and then you get rejected for your grades that hurts.</p>