<p>OP,
You're doing it all wrong. You would be a much better fit at Greed College. Check out the BA in Hedge Funds, BA in Investment Banking, and BA in Private Equity. I hear they even offer a minor in Getting Rich Quick. This school is very popular with companies that care more about making sure their employees get rich, than with making profits. Don't ask me give examples of those firms though, as I conveniently can't remember what any of them are called.</p>