So I’m going to the large state school in my state with about 40,000 people. I think it’s a good fit for me but the thing is my two “best friends” are also going. I went to a small high school and didn’t have much in common with a lot of the people there. My two best friends are very outgoing and always seem to take all the attention so when we’re in a group no one even pays attention or talks to me. All the boys like them and use me to get to know my friends and then toss me to the side. I like my friends well enough but I really wanted to make my own friends separate from them and become my own person who isn’t just a background character in other people’s lives. I’m worried that I’ll end up being stuck in the same circle of being the shy quiet girl who always tags along but is never really valued in group settings. Idk what to do because I’ve already committed to the school.
40,000 is a lot of people. It’s unlikely you’ll end up in the same social group unless you make a concerted effort to do so. If the school is a good match, go! You’ll make new friends.
Easy- form different social circles once you get to college. With 40,000 students, you are bound to find many kids you share interests with and can form new friendships with. Many kids find friends in their freshman dorm, in their clases, and even at orientation . Doesn’t mean you should never see your high school friends again, just don’t room with them as a freshman and try to make a point to branch out . Good luck!
Unless you are all in the same small major, or are roommates in the frosh dorm, it is unlikely that you need to be with the same high school people a lot while in college.
I think it’s fairly common for people on a huge campus to hang around their friends from high school as a sort of social “crutch.” That’s not necessarily a bad thing if those friendships are healthy and mutually beneficial. In your case it sounds like they aren’t particularly. As stated above, seek out organizations and activities to join in order to branch out. You can still see your old friends, but learn to push back and distance yourself a little if the interactions remain one-sided.
“40,000 is a lot of people.”
That was my immediate reaction also. With there being 40,000 students on campus, you are not going to run into anyone that you know unless you make an effort to do so.
Also, there is a very large chance that during your first year at any university you will date someone, break up, and then want to avoid them. There is a certainty that with 40,000 people on campus there will be someone that you do not like. Do not worry about it. You will not run into them either.
There will also be quite a few students like you on campus, and students that you can get along with just fine. There will be a lot more students who are “like you” than you were able to find in high school.
For the people that you do like, you can make plans to get together.
I do not see any problem here.
Choose a Living learning community - instant peers and friends and none them would be your friends from HS (whom you could still meet for lunch or whatever). 
Look through your college’s “residential life” webpages.
I just applied for a llc! Hoping I get in as it seems like the best way to meet new people
This could happen with a whole new set of friends. This is one of those things that is 75% you and 25% others.
@axloax, I went to a very small boys high school and then a large university of about 30,000 people. I hung out with another guy from my high school class for the first 1-2 weeks at the university. After that, I never saw him again for the rest of college. You will make a lot of different friends from a variety of places, unless you make the serious effort to stick with your current friends and they do the same. It’s not likely both will happen. You all will grow in different directions.
@axloax : congrats! Take-charge, quick move, very decisive - good sign for college.
What’s your LLC of choice about?
Fingers crossed on the LLC, let us know!
OP- I went to a college which had a handful of kids from my hometown (two different HS’s, plus kids I knew in the region from EC’s). On the first day of orientation, I was in line at the college bookstore picking up my books, and someone from my neighborhood (we weren’t close, but we were always cordial and our parents were friends) was standing in the line next to me. I waved and said Hi- he did the same, but had a peculiar look on his face. Then I overheard him introducing himself to someone in line with “Hi, I’m James” when he’d ALWAYS been known as “Little-Jimmy” because his dad owned a business in town and was James.
I got the message! We all wanted to reinvent ourselves; I smiled at him and yelled “Hey, James- how’s it going?” and he smiled back and that was it. We ran into each other maybe 10 times in four years, we were friendly, that was the extent of our involvement.
You can be anyone you want in college. You don’t have to be the quiet one. You don’t have to be the after-thought. You don’t have to hang out with the same crowd- or the same TYPE of crowd. Show up for an organizational meeting to run a coat drive for the homeless; show up at tryouts for standup comedy night; show up at the organic farming club; take the free salsa dance classes on Monday nights at the Student Union and go to “how to register people to vote” meetings on Tuesday nights.
You’ll figure it out. Good for you for taking the initiative on this!!!
It’s an exploratory llc for undecided majors or people who are unsure of what they’d like to do for a career
There is one thing not mentioned yet that you must absolutely refrain from doing. Don’t put either of these 2 girls down as a preferred roomate. Many colleges allow incoming frosh that have friends attending the same school to request each other as roomates. If you do this then the old dynamic will continue.
Agree about the roommates. And be prepared for a rough few weeks getting to know people. It will be easy to just fall into the old disfunctional relationships. Try to gut it out and put yourself out there for other new relationships. They will come in time. Lots of kids will be in the same boat.
2 guys I spent a lot of time with in HS went to my college of 25,000. One I saw 5-10 times over 4 years. We got along but mostly hung out in HS because we were more academically oriented than anyone else in our HS. When we got to college we both found better friend groups for ourselves than each other.
Another was one of my best friends growing up and we were in the same fraternity. We still didn’t really hang out all that much. We both made different friend groups and hung out with different people mostly. Obviously we saw each other a lot, he lived a few doors down from me for 4 years. We never had a falling out, just found different circles that fit our personalities and goals better.
We’re you admitted to other affordable colleges?