Grade my ACT writing practice and any tips to improve English score

Hey I just took my first ACT prep test today and I just graded my multiple choice.
E:23
M:32
R:29
S:33
I am a sophomore and am taking the ACT with writing next week.
Can someone grade my writing and give me tips to improve.
I would also like some tips on the English section to improve as it is holding me back.
I did not run out of time in any of the sections, so timing is not a problem.

Writing Prompt:
At some high schools, teachers have
considered allowing each student to choose
the books he or she will read for English
class rather than requiring all students in
class to read the same books. Some teachers
support such a policy because they think
students will greatly improve their reading
skills if they read books they find
interesting. Other teachers do not support
such a policy because they think that
students will learn more by participating in
class discussion with others who have read
the same books. In your opinion, should
each individual student be allowed to choose
the books he or she reads for English class?

In your essay, take a position on this
question. You may write about either one of
the two points of view given, or you may
present a different point of view on this
question. Use specific reasons and examples
to support your position.

My essay is in the link below so you can judge my handwriting.
http://www.mediafire.com/view/4yu27n1dsbowdiq/Writing_Page_1.JPG
http://www.mediafire.com/view/ge11a1n81gc0z68/Writing_Page_2.JPG

Thank You
Andre K.

Please, I would like some advice as the ACT is in a few days.

Bump