Grade my APUSH DBQ Essay?

Test Preparation AP History & Social Sciences
1

Prompt: To what extent did manifest destiny and territorial expansion unite or divide the United States from 1830 to 1860?</p>

The territorial expansion of the United States under the belief of Manifest Destiny during the 1830s to 1860s played a major role in uniting the country. Expansion assisted in unification under economical, social, and political order. Economic order in which the economy would be stable, socially in which the issue of slavery would be compromised and political in which the country would have allies after its expansion to the west.
United States expansion to Oregon in the 1840s under Manifest destiny united the country in many ways. The Political effect of expansion would unify the people when they are at war with other foreign nations (Doc A) because war is a time of unity where the people unite against the common enemy; throughout history one can see that the U.S. Mexican War had united the states to fight against Mexico in order to gain more land and resources. Gaining these supplies after beating the Mexicans would unite the Country because it would benefit the people since they will have more land having and an abundance of supplies.
United States expansion to Texas also contributed to unification in the United States (Doc F) because it would allow for an increase in economical regulation. If Texas were allied with the United States the U.S. would be able to do business with it because of Texas’ ports and products. This would unify the country because if the country were prospering economically then the nation would become united. During the passing of the Tariff of abominations the South suffered harsh and brutal effects raising their taxes by 20 percent, which caused a strengthening of sectionalism that divided the country while the effect of the North contrasted greatly. Expansion to California also brought a unification by fluctuating the United States economy (Doc E) because the expansion allowed in obtaining the Bay of San Francisco a bay that would help regulate commence in the Pacific. Having this Bay would unite the United States because the people would be happy to have a good economy in which there are no economic problems. The Social benefit of expansion to Texas would unit the country because it would keep the slave population equal (Doc C) benefitting the both the South in having slave states and the North in having free states. Slaves would be housed, clothed, and fed in exchange for their services on the fields and plantations.
Expansion to the west would benefit other nations such as Mexico (Doc H) because it would allow Mexico to learn the structure and way of life from the United States. Mexico would know what a good government is and follow the same path of the United States in becoming a great nation. Learning this unifies the United States with others in Mexico under the same religion, government, and way of life because it inspires others to come together and become a United States citizen.</p>

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I would give this a 5 or 6 since you need more outside information. I think this would have been easier to write if you took the other side, then you could write about the civil war etc</p>

3

my teacher said we couldnt use the civil war yet cause we didnt get up to it yet lol</p>

4

On the test you should use everything you know but because you couldn’t use that info I’d probably give you a 7 then sorry!</p>

5

Erm, probably a five. :confused: Sorry, but you have lots of time till the test!</p>

You really need a stronger introduction and conclusion, and never really answered to what extent- use key words! Some of your sentences are fragments, with a bit of confusing structure- and I wouldn’t just say “under economical, social, and political order”, but give specific examples. You could use some more information (but you can’t, understood). </p>

Most of all, I would organize your essay better. Use a matrix to split up your paragraphs into more related topics. For example, spit your whole essay into two parts, manifest destiny and territorial expansion. Figure out whether they unite or divide the country, and then come up with at least three chronological examples for each that all fit under one “umbrella” topic that you can use in your intro. </p>

<li>Intro: Manifest destiny and territorial expansion united the country because x, y, z umbrella topics. </li>
<li>X umbrella topic</li>
<li>Y umbrella topic</li>
<li>Z umbrella topic (cumulative at least six examples, three for both m. destiny and expansion, try to make it chronological)</li>
<li>Conclusion, the implications of this unity and why its important</li>
</ul>

That’s how I learned, hope it helps!</p>

6

I second ^^^. I was taught this way too </p>

Sent from my Desire HD using CC App</p>

7

is there such a formula for APUSH?</p>

8

OK, I would probably give this a five.</p>

I apologize for being blunt in my explanation, but I will in order to really get my point across.</p>

Your thesis is essentially wrong. The correct thesis that graders would be looking for is some variation of the following:</p>

“Manifest destiny and territorial expansion did more to divide the United States than unite the seemingly volatile country during the antebellum period.”</p>

In terms of specifics, you could talk about James K. Polk, slave power, the Mexican American War and how Whigs who eventually became Free Soilers opposed the war, the Ostend Manifesto, the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo, the Wilmont Proviso, Lewis Cass and popular sovereignty, and a host of other terms.</p>

In order to get a nine, you would need to mention a nuanced example, and the example that graders would clearly be looking for in this essay is that of 54-40 and fight, and how northerners in that case mildly supported some form of expansion, albiet into Canada. This example clearly goes against the prevailing trend of northerners and free soilers opposing manifest destiny and expansion, which they saw as adding to slave power and threatening their very existence.</p>

Lastly, in terms of the thesis, it’s pretty easy to tell that manifest destiny divided the country rather than uniting it considering that we fought one of the bloodiest civil wars in history beginning in 1861.</p>

Again, I apologize for being blunt, but if you seriously want to do well on you AP US exam, you have to do a lot, a lot better than this. You can’t completely miss the thesis and somehow expect to do well on FRQs and/or DBQs. If you have any other questions regarding AP US or any other APs of concern, don’t hesitate to message me. I’m always available to help.</p>

9

<p>I have the same essay to do and I’ve read over the documents probably a million times and it confused me even more… could you possibly help me or give me tips on writing on this specific topic. Also the question said from the year 1830 to 1860 so I can’t use the civil war seeing as it began in 1861.</p>

10

<p>The original poster posted this 3 years ago and has not been active in 2 years; you are unlikely to get a response. At this point, an answer to this prompt constitutes homework help, which is not allowed. Closing thread.</p>