grade terrible and incoherent essay? (haven't wrote an essay in a while)

<p>We do not take the time to determine right from wrong. Reflecting on the difference between right and wrong is hard work. It is much easier to follow the crowd, going along with what is popular rather than risking the disapproval of others by voicing an objection of any kind.</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it always best to determine one’s own views of right and wrong, or can we benefit from the crowd?</p>

<pre><code> It is always best that one makes decisions without outside influences. History has proven time and time again that men who chose to deviate from the crowd find ultimate freedom. The enduring determination of Chris Mccandles, Greg Mortenson, and Khan Dhi proves that it is critical that one determines one’s own views of right and wrong in order to achieve true happiness.

Take for instance the novel, Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortenson himself and David Olive Relin, which features the protagonist, Greg Mortonson’s struggle to find a true home. Mortonson soon finds his true home after a failure of reaching the zenith of the ever so elusive mountain of K2. He found a place where he realized he truly belonged despite all of his affiliates’ opinion that America is home. He found Korphe, a small village that kept the simplicities of life. As a result of keeping his views and not letting his affiliates influence him, Mortenson discovered that Korphe was his true home, a place where he found love, success, and happiness.
In a similar situation, the adventures of Chris Mccandles from 1990-1992, which is featured in the novel Into The Wild by Jon Krakler, shows how one man chose to leave society behind and truly be free by living as Mccandles always said, “Into The Wild. Mccandles chose to live away from society, leaving his car, giving away all his money to Oxfam, and hitchhiking his way to the Alaskan Frontier where the trace of society was scarce. After two years of hitchhiking Mccandles finally reached the Alaskan frontier, where he survived foraging berries and lived a secluded life without influence from the outside world. And as a result of Mccandles’ seclusion from society he was able to realize that true happiness comes from the interaction one has with other people and the enjoyment of what the world has to offer.
In another account the memoir of Khan Dhi, a Chinese warrior of the 1800s proved to his fellow soldiers that it is not necessary to kill in order to coerce obedience to the village people. Khan Dhi chose to deviate from the norm of putting fear into the villagers’ eyes by killing. By offering the villagers something in return for their obedience Dhi proved that violene isn’t necessary. Hence, Dhi’s decision to digress from the crowd proved resourceful when his actions saved hundreds of lives.
After a careful analysis of the lives of Greg Mortenson, Chris Mccandles, and Khan Dhi, it is indeed true that one can gain a plethora of benefits if one choses to not be influenced by external forces. It would be hard contracdicting the benefits one gains from deviating from the norm because these stories, adventures, and memoirs of Mortenson, Mccandles, and Dhi are real life experiences interpreted through novels.
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<p>wow three cups of tea LOL i read that. pretty good book.
sry if that was irrelevant; i was just in a similar situation.</p>

<p>most cc’ers and i will probably give 8-9’s on this essay but in the real exam you are most likely to score 10-11. i found this essay boring not so much b/c of its grammar as b/c of its “formula”.</p>

<p>once again thank you Sakata. Yeah, i feel like i didn’t write so well, 25 mins is really not enough time. But what kind of layout do you suggest for the essay? And yeah, its an awesome book lol.</p>