Today I went to an NSBE (national society of black engineers) meeting. Even though I wasn’t black, I heard amazing stories about how the officers in the group used this society to help mentor others, help each other academically and socially, networking, going to conferences which lead to internships and co-ops etc. I hadn’t plan on going initially, as I was commute to school and usually go home after class, but I was glad that I did stay, especially when the meeting was held around 8 at night.
Their stories made me realize how many fatal mistakes I have made. Any of you can click on my bio and read what I experienced my 4 years in college. To summarize, I was angry and sad throughout my whole college experience. I may have had depression, but I was never officially diagnosed with it. I am a senior petroleum engineering (P.E.) major graduating this May, but I don’t offer anything unique to the world. I don’t have any meaningful connections. I don’t have any major experiences, other than a summer research internship that I had last summer. But to this day, I still don’t know how in the world I was able to get that internship. When I heard the different officers share their stories of success, I realize that I don’t have anything valuable to offer. I am very behind in terms of my career development. There were people who were lower classification (I don’t know if they are a freshman, sophomore, or junior but definitely not a senior) than me that got internships, co-ops, and amazing opportunities at well-known respected companies. Going to the NSBE meeting was an eye-opener for me. I should have done more during my time in college, even though I hated my school, and I feel I wasted so many years to develop myself. Graduation is in 4 months. While others that I know are ready to get out, I am very fearful of what’s to come. I have absolutely no idea if I will have a job in the upcoming days ahead. I don’t know how things will pan out. So many uncertainties and unknowns. I don’t know if working in an industry related to P.E. is the right thing for me anymore. Maybe it’s because of all my bad experiences leading up to this that has led me to this conclusion.
What should I do now to make myself compete against those who have done a far better job than me in terms of getting involved in different societies and building connections that I was never able to do? I could blame it on my attitude, but I don’t want to make excuses anymore. I want to change. It’s been way too long since I felt like I had a purpose, and I am done with the anger and sadness that has plagued me since high school. I think it’s too late to get myself involved in any organization now that I am about to graduate. The only thing I can think of is trying to become good at one thing. For me, the best subject that I do well on has been math. I have been thinking since the new trends in development suggest that big data and A.I. will become more prevalent in the future, I would devote more time to learning those subjects, as they are interesting and somewhat related to any field that you go into, including P.E. Maybe that would lead to something bigger. But I don’t know right now. Everything’s up in the air. If you have any suggestions on what I could do, feel free to let me know.
First of all, you are what, 22 or so years old and just about to finish college in engineering? That is an accomplishment in and of itself, with or without all the frosting that you seem to feel you have fallen short on. Congratulations.
The number one thing to do is keep your eye on the ball of graduating. Now is not the time to quit because you feel less adequate in comparison to others who maybe made different choices than you did. Finish the darned degree as it will keep opportunities open more than you can possibly know at this still young point in your life.
Second, stop comparing yourself to others and/or wallowing in regrets. Focus on being the best you that you can be from this day forward. One way you can work on your own career prospects from here on out is to take advantage of every single program or activity they offer, work on making the best resume and cover letters you can, explore all the career information they have to offer to figure out what you now want to do with your degree. Be that person who squeezes everything they can out of the career services available to you.
Lastly, you can join some associations or societies related to your engineering field and/or mathematics. You can join as a student even now, and continue in these organizations as a professional after you graduate. People do it all the time, there is nothing to stop you.
You are young and you will continue to have opportunities to learn and grow, and to make connections if you keep yourself open to them.
@NorthernMom61 is spot on. Pay a visit to the career center at your college. Get plugged into the alumni network. You have to find the opportunties. They won’t necessarily find you.
I was close to being in your shoes a year or so ago (as a CS major) – except I couldn’t even score a single internship in my four years of college despite all of my efforts. Granted, I lucked into a two year long part time research position unrelated to my eventual career…but I saw all these people who had multiple internships, were founding startups, and basically seemed to have everything planned and lined up. I felt like the lost little girl who had no idea what she was getting into, and felt like a complete failure. Yet I still kept up a charade of confidence, because it really felt like everyone else knew what they were doing.
Then I wound up getting a job offer the December before I graduated. Admittedly a lot of it was luck, because it ultimately came about due to being at the right place at the right time to get someone’s contact information…but I never thought that I’d be getting an offer before graduating, let alone a good 6 months before graduating.
The thing to realize is that, while some of your classmates may have things all figured out and lined up right now, the vast majority are just as clueless as you are.
The people who are clueless and scared aren’t going to talk at these events admitting how scared they are because they don’t feel like they measure up. The people who don’t feel like they have it figured out aren’t going to talk about how they have no idea what they’ll do with their life after college. You know who will talk? The people who have had better luck than most other people and who feel like they have it figured out! Keep that in mind when going to these kinds of events – Joe Schmoe and Suzy Q Average aren’t the ones talking.
On that note, focus on you. Focus on finishing your degree; that will already put you way ahead of where you could’ve been otherwise. Start applying around and interviewing as you approach graduation. Talk to people, network, and follow up on any leads. You’ve already made it this far. You can do this!
Hindsight is 20/20 vision, but there are no do-overs in life. Look toward the future. College isn’t the most important thing in the world, nor is high school, or grad school. It doesn’t matter if you were part of the XYZ Club or not. If you’re a competent engineer, you’ll do fine.
Two of my nephews struggled to find engineering internships, they each only did one, they got them at the eleventh hour. They graduated and found jobs. Just keep doing the best you can.
After enduring the school years in college its now time to face the real world which is the life after college. This, will determine if the hardships and effort will be payed, if you will hired in a job.