As I have said many many times here: The plural of anecdote is not data. You will never know why a student was accepted/rejected and the college will never tell you. But I doubt the reason is because the friend sent a letter. Now if the parent, not the friend, was the big donor in this story, he would have more of a reason to be upset, although not necessarily a valid reason. While large donors/legacy can be hooks at some colleges, at very few are they a Golden Ticket.
Anyway, back to the OP:
I would do nothing unless Grandpa was sure that he did. Why open up a can of worms if the call never happened? Even if the friend did call, I would still do nothing. I doubt that the call would have had any impact one way or the other. I’m with @CADREAMIN who said,
I’d let it go - I agree with others that there’s no harm done, it could actually end up being a slight positive, who knows.
Years ago, my father did something similar when one of my sons applied to his alma mater. In this case, the influential alum asked to meet my son. It turned out to be a fantastic experience for my son - he spent a few hours with the man. My son’s college counselor had already predicted that my son was very likely to get in to the school, so I don’t think whatever the influential alum did (or didn’t do) really had any impact. But my father was happy to feel like he had helped, the alum and my son had a great time getting to know each other, it was all good.
Thanks all for your comments and words of comfort. I should probably say this person is not a minor celebrity. He is an extremely well known politician from years past. Grandpa has been friends with him most of his life. A do think there is the chance the call could hurt her but also someone in their nineties might have forgotten to make the call at all. Not worth worrying about. She has the stats on paper for the Ivies but you never know. I think it is best to do nothing and say nothing to D1 (or grandpa). Though I’m not sharing any other college information with grandpa ever again.
It is possible for the grandpa’s friends know about your d well enough, learning from your grandpa. Still, I don’t see how it can hurt. If it could hurt, then it can also help. I would say it is more likely helping than hurting, although the chances would be slim either way.
I still wouldn’t worry and won’t be upset to the grandpa. He is in his 90s and helping his grand daughter’s future could be his greatest joy. I would let him still hear other college information and thank for his intention, after waiting until the results are coming if you must.
Exactly @garland. My point @skieurope was not that he was denied because of the letter but rather that the ‘money’ didn’t buy him the admission. I also pointed out that I know nothing of the kid’s qualifications so maybe he was never close to admission.
The other point I was making was the gall that my cousin expected money would get him admitted. I guess I didn’t express myself well
Agree on letting it go, agree on not telling the applicant, and agree on limiting the information you deliver to the grandparent in the future. (YOU can thank him nicely and suggest applicant would rather have her application stand on its own so you don’t plan to tell her.)
While there’s no doubt in my mind that connections CAN help (super big loyal donor, etc. etc might well merit a second look), I think the vast number of people (way) overestimate their potential influence.
Once, a long time ago, a family member of mine who was affiliated with a school was asked to write a recommendation for another family member he barely knew. He was a little flummoxed by the request, but graciously wrote the best letter he could under the circumstances, trying to be both truthful and to do no harm.
Kid didn’t get in, but although I wasn’t a fly on the wall in the admissions office, I’m pretty sure the letter was greeted with no more than a knowing eyeroll as the AO moved on to the rest of the app. I’m certain it didn’t help. Whether or not it hurt probably depends on whether it took the place of one that could have been stronger and more personal, and whether the AO perceived the inclusion as showing an expectation of special consideration. (Kid had some other excellent options, so it wasn’t the quality of the application overall.)
In this case, the application stands on its own. The phone call may not even register. (Probably not the first one this 90yo has made… I’ll bet they’re used to him.)
The old guy could be a total rock star with the university, and maybe it’ll be very favorable! I don’t think it’ll do any damage. I come from a large family, and this sounds like something one of my relatives would do, lol.
I once worked in an admissions office for a top-20 university.
Angry parents and other relatives would call to complain about their kid not getting admitted. They would say “Their GPA is such-and-such and test scores are such-and-such.” BUT they would be completely wrong about the stats. They always thought the numbers were higher than they actually were. Weird.
Influential alumni types wouldn’t usually call admissions directly. They would reach out to Development (fundraising) or Institutional Relations, etc. Those departments would check in with admissions about the particular applicant. At that point, admissions would make some sort of mark, to be sure that if the applicant were to be denied, there would at least have been a good, thoughtful consideration, say, an additional reading of the application. It’s a CYA thing, really.
Then usually admissions would call back to the department that enquired, and say “Sorry, his GPA looked great but his curriculum and test scores were weak, and we already denied several applicants from the same high school who were much stronger.” Most of the time, it would end there. Very, very rarely, some more pressure would be applied.
Or, admissions might say yes, we are admitting the student, and the guy from Development will call the wealthy alum and let him think he was influential, when usually he wasn’t.
My dad wanted to have one of his friends who used to be on the school’s board make a call for D2 to a top school. My kid had never met the man. And… D2 actually didn’t want to apply to the school anyway (and didn’t). She didn’t like it when she visited. My dad was quite unhappy. We did stop talking about college admissions until she had her decision made. My parents hadn’t heard of the school she settled on, but (ironically) this friend of his who he’s wanted to have make the call said to him after hearing where she would be attending, “She got into ?!?! Wow, that is a great school. Good for her!” Then my dad thought was great as well. Sigh.
The people who work in admissions are human beings and it is possible to talk to them or email them, something like “My 90 year old grandfather asked his friend so and so to contact admissions for me and I had nothing to do with it and would have asked him not to do this if I had been asked.” I think a call like that can make a candidate look desperate and also not able to stand on his or her own merits.
Am I the only one who finds the idea that smart, accomplished, sophisticated people suddenly turn into lame-brained and/or naive objects of amusement at age 90 kind of offensive?
I’m sure that this person knows how to put in a good word for his old friend’s grand daughter in a way that simply assures her application gets a thorough look.
@Consolation Thank you! In the strangest twist of fate the gentleman that made the call passed away the evening I posted this thread. He was written up in The New York Times. Really strange. Apparently he did make the call sometime in October. I have had some complicated feelings about this but now I just think of it as a really kind gesture. The chips will fall where they fall. All intentions were good. I actually did tell my D and she is not bothered by it all. I think she feels she probably has short time left with grandpa and this is a positive message of his love for her.
It is pretty obvious who he was, and he was not some fool with delusions of grandeur as some condescending posters would have it. Maybe you have to be old enough…
