<p>Looking to join a sorority? You’ll need time and money to spare. And don’t be late for meetings and events (there’s a fine for that).</p>
<p>Stupid me-- I thought this was a post about how expensive the Phi Beta Kappa initiation was, or what a kid sacrifices in social life to graduate summa cum laude.</p>
<p>Fascinating.</p>
<p>If these kids take anthropology you wonder if they see themselves in the potlatches. </p>
<p>I thought it might be interesting as there have been some discussion on southern schools and joining a sorority. </p>
<p>As some of the comments pointed out, this article was incredibly one sided and gave the impression that all sorority members pay $1,000+/ semester. It would have been helpful to profile at least one sorority which doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. </p>
<p>I agree, the examples given were on the extreme high end, in terms of cost and time commitment. And what a catty opening paragraph!</p>
<p>For my daughter’s initial semester, I paid $526. That included her initiation, badge (pin), house fees, social events. It is one of the sororities featured in the article, but at a school that is much smaller. She’s excused from things all the time because of sports and school and so are the others in her house. Many of them are athletes, cheerleaders, involved in student government; the president of her house is also the president of an honors fraternity and several clubs. For them, balance is important and they want to be involved in other school activities.</p>
<p>Other daughter I paid a lot more for (although her badge was $40 - no diamonds). It is more expensive the first year because she has to pay a house maintenance fee and we are paying for the dorm, but next year when she lives in the house the house fee and the rent will actually be less than the dorm fee. Meals are cheaper than the dorm too. So first year more expensive, after that a little cheaper. She also has commitments in her academic department because she has a scholarship, and those come first. Hasn’t been a problem.</p>
<p>When my daughter first joined, I was surprised at the costs of initiation and dues. BUT, they included everything including all the exchanges, sisterhood events, a few meals a week, etc… We are in California, and the BIG-LITTLE gifts were not extravagant, and the girls shared dresses for the various occasions. My daughter shortened a lot of the dresses she wore to formals in high school and I always saw different girls wearing them in various pictures she would post. One thing that the article doesn’t mention, is that it is SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper to “live in” the house than it is to live in a dorm or on-campus apartment. Even including the dues, etc… This year it is costing my son about $8000 for room, board, and dues for his fraternity. Last year his (incredibly tiny) triple in the dorms was almost $13,000. The difference for my daughter, 4 years ago, at a different school, was comparable. Yes, I agree that there is a big time commitment, but no different than sports, service clubs and activities were in high school. And I feel like learning to manage your time is an important skill. </p>
<p>I was just reading this article! Interesting to read the letters from readers as well…a universal loathing of these institutions (and I have to say, I concur)… One sample letter:</p>
<p>"This system is preparing these young women for a life frozen in the 1950s: the Junior League, the Country Club, the Garden Club, afternoon bridge games over whiskey sours and regular trips to Neiman Marcus, with hubby off at the office and the children cared for by the nanny. There are those nice little pills for when life becomes too obviously empty or the hubby runs off with his secretary. Otherwise, there is the excitement of new pocketbooks and reupholstering the sofa! </p>
<p>What in the world are these girls going to do in 2016 or 2017 when they “graduate” with four years of having stuffed tissue paper into chicken wire?"</p>
<p>The article is silly</p>
<p>My youngest, who has tattoos and rarely wears a dress, is in a sorrority at a southern school. She loves it, plays bass in an alternative rock band, and will never be in a garden club, unless she discovers a passion for growing roses as her father has. (He is in the local garden club. I am not)</p>
<p>Stereotyping of any variety is boring, boorish, and completely misses the point of how truly different this next generation is. </p>
<p>I hear you, @poetgirl and I tried to keep an open mind…but after I watched the slideshow of the “crafts” and events they did…and this seemed to be at all of the sororities they visited…well, there is literally no way i’d give my D a dime for one of these places.</p>
<p>(though I will say that your kid sounds like she’s landed in a great organization…and nothing like a regular sorority…"- </p>
<p>I graduated from a southern state flagship in 1978. My sorority sisters from that time are national and local politicians, judges, lawyers, doctors, PhD engineers, big time developers/real estate agents, famous actors, semi-famous writers, and a few sahm moms with nannys and country club memberships. There was an on-going discussion in my day about marrying before your fiance had his MD, JD, whatever. It was primarily our mother’s generation that put husbands through school and got replaced with younger models. Not my peers.</p>
<p>not to say I don’t have plenty of sorority misgivings</p>
<p>It’s regular. It’s the same and known. But, she’s who she is. She went thru in a give it a try way. Turned out to really like it, which surprised me. Tbh. But this generation surprises me in a good way pretty regularly. :)</p>
<p>My sorority was really regular for our sorority row in 1974-78. Frequently I hung out with the artsy crowd next door. They all went to NYC after graduation, not into careers.</p>
<p>“This system is preparing these young women for a life frozen in the 1950s: the Junior League, the Country Club, the Garden Club, afternoon bridge games over whiskey sours and regular trips to Neiman Marcus, with hubby off at the office and the children cared for by the nanny. There are those nice little pills for when life becomes too obviously empty or the hubby runs off with his secretary. Otherwise, there is the excitement of new pocketbooks and reupholstering the sofa!”</p>
<p>Oh please. My sorority sisters went to top business, medical and law schools. Many of them are well-compensated and highly successful professionals. Some own their own businesses. One owns a TV production company that produces TV shows you’ve all heard of. Several of them are journalists for major newspapers. One is the head of a major public relations firm. One is a PhD in public health. One is a published author. And yes, some are SAHM’s too - should they be ashamed of that choice? </p>
<p>“What in the world are these girls going to do in 2016 or 2017 when they “graduate” with four years of having stuffed tissue paper into chicken wire?”</p>
<p>I “pomped” (stuffed tissue paper into chicken wire for homecoming floats). It was a fun way to meet guys (until such time as I went off the market, so to speak). It was no more a waste of time than attending football games, going to dances, or hanging around the house watching TV or playing cards with my girlfriends. It’s called fun and it’s important to have. Pomping, or doing similar things, does not preclude one from also having serious interests or taking leadership roles in other extracurriculars.</p>
<p>The woman who is president of my daughter’s sorority chapter is also president of the mechanical engineering fraternity and an officer in the robotics club. I really doubt she’ll be pouring tea at the junior league when she graduates next year. </p>
<p>Last year there were 6 women who graduated from this house. One is now at Harvard law, one was commissioned into the army (after attending on ROTC scholarship), 2 went on to grad schools in engineering, and if I remember correctly, the other two had jobs. No time for teas and socials and making floats.</p>
<p>I thought the article was ridiculous and, not surprisingly, teeming with vitriolic comments. Of course the prevailing assumption was that the most dominant Greek life is at southern schools–when in fact five of the top 10 are in NY and PA and one of the southern ones is Vanderbilt (according to Princeton Review). </p>
<p>“Sisters spend a significant amount of time and money on one another. It’s a loving relationship, to be sure. Once Bigs choose one or more new members to mentor (Littles), they take them out regularly. They secretly decorate their Littles’ rooms, and bake and craft gifts to shower on them. Essential tools are a glue gun and Puffy Paint to adorn anything imaginable — boxes for sorority pins, tumblers, door hangers, T-shirts — with the sorority’s letters or mascot. Mod Podge mavens make decoupages with Lilly Pulitzer and Vera Bradley patterns, trimmed with official colors like straw, salmon pink, vieux green and Carolina blue.”</p>
<p>Again, oh please. This isn’t mandatory in the least and you don’t have to be artsy-craftsy unless you choose to be. Though you know something? It’s sometimes … just … well, plain fun to do something special for people you like.
My D’s LAC has Bigs and Littles - assigned at the campus level since her school doesn’t have sororities. My D takes her Little out for ice cream and such. Is that any different, and if so, how?</p>
<p>I’m still not sure why it’s “bad” to own / have things that are emblazoned with an organization that you are part of. I still have glasses, mugs, tumblers with my sorority’s name on them along with my other glasses and mugs. They’re obviously in working condition (=they hold liquid) so there’s no need to throw them out. Is that bad somehow? Was that “superficial” of me to buy them? How is that fundamentally any different from if I had bought glasses, mugs, tumblers with the college name on them?</p>
<p>I think what I really dislike about articles like this one is that it diminishes the kids. It says these kids are shallow or “only” interested in these things, which is simply not the case. My oldest joined and just got busy and ended up in “the artsy house down the street.” I had lots of greek friends, though I lived in the “artsy house down the street.” youngest, who is the biggest individual you will ever meet, truly, not even slightly a conformist, loves these girls and loves these things they do and is having a blast. In the meantime, she is also studying very hard and doing other things, like working and playing in a band and dating.</p>
<p>I think it says more about what the author wanted to “see” than it says about what is really going on. JMO</p>
<p>@PG: Or with a designer logo, or the name of a fancy resort where you vacationed, or…</p>
<p>People use all kinds of signifiers to express their membership in groups. I just don’t get why sororities are worthy of so much more scorn. </p>