I actually took the time to sign up for a CC account, compelled to reply to your message.
I would really encourage you to keep an open mind. My son is a first year student at UVA who has recently completed fraternity recruitment. He never drank in high school–pretty serious student, kind of nerdy.
My husband and I lived in DC for awhile, but both went to Michigan for undergrad and were in the midwest for professional school as well. We did NOT want our son to attend UVA. I had a lot of concerns with my impressions of UVA and UVA grads having lived in NOVA, doing a medical residency in the DC area. My concerns? lack of diversity, elitism, prevalence of Greek life, Southern culture. Mostly Southern culture and amusement with the thought of getting dressed up for football games, class, etc.
We spent THREE days in Charlottesville for DOL. (After a thrilling side trip to NYC). My son had interest in UVA and I really wanted to make sure he knew what he was in for, so to speak.
What did I find at UVA? Really smart, well spoken kids and much more diversity than I had imagined. I googled infomation about underrepresented minority retention and graduation rates and was very impressed. UVA was NOT what I thought going into the DOL experience. I approached the HILLEL and LGBTQ tables, asking about their experiences on campus–they had great things to say (although admitting Charlottesville is no Ann Arbor). I imagined those students might be somewhat marginalized on campus. If they were happy, that spoke to me.
My son has had a great experience to date. He has made a ton a very nice friends and found a balanced/nerdier fraternity he is pledging, because everyone was so nice, they are diverse, with high GPAs and not rabid drinkers.
When I ask my son is he happy to be at college, or happy at UVA, he reports both. He says he likes UVA because the kids are super smart, engaged, nice and welcoming. He loves the beauty of the campus and the weather
this was a tough year with loss of Hannah Graham and the RS article, AND my son has had a great experience.
There are a lot of great ways to do college, and I would really encourage you to enjoy DOL. My son was there for about 36 hours and said, how are we going to tell dad this is where I want to go to college?
good luck!