can anyone help with the differences and pros at each one (st paul’s, middlesex and groton)
All three have fantastic teachers. MX strikes me as having a healthier, more wholesome culture… but fewer people will have heard of it beyond New England or boarding school circles. The other two are better known, in case prestige and status are more important.
@preps2018 it all depends on what your preferences are. Comparisons are subjective, and since no one will have a first-hand experience with all three schools, all you’ll get is opinions that may or may not be based on fact. Speaking of facts, you may want to create a spreadsheet and compare the three schools on criteria that matter to you. I obviously don’t know what is important to you, but some things to consider are number of students, campus size and layout, location, % boarding students, students on FA and size of FA, whether a school offers the classes, ECs, answers sports you want, study-abroad and off-campus programs, rules, dress code, etc. If you have some specific questions you may get more specific answers. Good luck deciding!
I wrote this on another thread a couple of years ago, and can’t find it now, but I’ll briefly explain how my daughter organized her decision-making.
- choose 20 “attributes” which are important to you (the student). Food, proximity to a town, teachers etc.
- identify 5 of those “attributes” to be the most important
- make a spreadsheet with “attributes” down the left, and your three schools across the top.
- assign a score of 1-10 (10 being highest) for each school, each attribute.
- weigh the most important attributes more, by doubling their score
- add 'em up!
For example, my D was comparing Cate, Milton & Spence (a day school). She chose food as an attribute, and rated Milton 3, Spence 6 and Cate 8. Although food wasn’t one of her 5 “important” attributes, if it had been she would have doubled each of those scores before tallying everything. Although in her mind she viewed the three schools equally and was having a tough time deciding, Cate really came out on top once she did this exercise. I think that listing & prioritizing what is important to you is incredibly valid, and seeing it all in black and white on a page can be very helpful.
Another thing that she found useful was to talk to Junior/11th grade students about the 5 “important” attributes. Juniors were the most realistic & frankly critical - the glow of freshman year had worn off and the nostalgia of senior year hadn’t yet kicked in. If you ask each one the same questions, you can compare their responses.
HOWEVER. while my daughter was doing all of this methodical decision-making, her best friend chose between Deerfield, Hotchkiss & Choate by flipping a coin. 
Congratulations on some wonderful options OP!
Groton is 86% boarding & St. Paul’s School are 100% boarding so almost all students remain on campus during weekends (also because SPS has Saturday classes).
I have read, but do not have first hand knowledge, that Middlesex (71% boarding)empties out on weekends.
Groton is a majority boarding school, but not 100%.
Middlesex doesn’t empty out on weekends.
I have a really good friend at Middlesex, and he said that on the weekends it is just ass full as during the week. They have activities like dances and movies for students to do just like any other school.
Good to know. I had read that many go to Boston. Also, one CC poster (DawnAvenue) wrote on an Episcopal HS thread about that concern. However, as I wrote I have no first hand knowledge.
I have a really good friend at Middlesex, and he said that on the weekends it is just ass full as during the week. They have activities like dances and movies for students to do just like any other school.
Groton and Middlesex have a funny relationship. MX has Groton Day, when every sport competes there in October, but for us, that’s just the day long weekend starts. MX seems to be more sporty than Groton, and we like to tease them for having a path through their Circle. 
really it’s more sporty at mx?
My son likes to laugh that Middlesex thinks they are Groton’s rival. They should come by for St. Mark’s day and see what it’s like!
Also, Groton has Saturday classes as well. I know he won’t be missing those next year as he heads off for college.
If you haven’t already, suggest you read the Student Handbook of each school. Their cultures are very different.
In addition to what’s already been mentioned, the physical layout and surroundings of the schools are very different. MX and Groton are relatively similar but very different from SPS. My kid crossed Groton off of his list because it had too many columns (which is totally ridiculous, I know…but he didn’t even want to get out of the car when we were there.)
So where did he choose?
Does that mean REALLY full? Like “wicked full?” I like it. 
@Momto4kids I was about to say…MX is not Groton’s rival!! You should see St Mark’s when it is the real Groton Days!!! And I’m sure the reverse is true at Groton…! I agree that the cultures of the two schools are very different. DS actually really liked Groton’s integration of chapel with a chaplain into the school days. The vibe of the two schools were not at all the same when we visited.
I believe that the rivalry is between MX and St. George’s.
We went to MX open house and felt very out of place. Most of the people looked like they just parked their boat to come to OH. You know, slacks, shirts, sweater on the shoulders upper class,…We felt like we are in some kind of a movie about Hamptons (is it the place?) I was wearing jeans and I spilled coffee all over myself LOL. Not saying that the school was bad, more like we felt we don’t live up to the standard and it was just not the place for us.
@yuor28 , I recall a friend telling us when we were looking and asked about a specific school “Oh, we didn’t consider that one. We’re not really an XYZ school family.” I was baffled by the response. After several visits, I totally got it! This is one of the reasons I usually tell parents to be tuned in as well. If things go awry, it really helps if you feel like the community that you are working with is “yours” as well.