Good question! Thanks for brining it up! We could start a thread on this topic that covers every Co-Ed boarding school IMHO. I will share what I know as a parent after have spoken with other parents, as well as their daughters, and female faculty members at various prep schools.
The provocative title was from an article published in early January of 2019. Actually, the main focus/purpose of the article was to bring attention to a big lawsuit brought against the school by a former female instructor and swim coach. Thank you for posting the link. Somewhere in the CC archives there may even be a link to the complaint (as I read it). This was more about grievances against a male coach and the way in which the administration at the time responded to the situation. I donât think the article was as much about gender issues as it was about the law suit. But, I do believe gender issues exist at ALL SCHOOLS. Letâs be real.
Do I think there are several traditional co-ed boarding schools where boys are perceived as having more status and also seem to be the bigger Harkness Hogs? Yes. There are some impolite, immature, TEENS at any high school - it just seems more glaring at elite boarding schools by the way in which they do it. I am disappointed that boys are not called out more often for âmansplainingâ, interrupting conversations, objectifying women, or seeming to get away with a lot of jerky behavior.
My kiddo reports that boys sit on one side of the table and girls on the other. It also seems like the boys sports have greater attendance (except for girls volleyball) than the girls sports. There seems like there is more hype about boys sports, also.
Honestly - if you have a daughter - tell her to not lose her voice around the table, on the playing field, at the dining table, or anywhere else on campus. Make your voice stronger. Be prepared to be with some boys who have already been to JBS and seem to have an even greater hubris than other boys their age about campus life. Be prepared to also be with boys from other cultures/countries where girls do not have the same respect as our girls have here. This is something we had personal knowledge about with 2 boys in physics speaking over and about Kiddo in their language. Gotcha! Kiddo had studied that language since Kindergarten and let them know it.
IMHO there needs to be greater dialogue regarding behavioral expectations and respect in class, in dorms and throughout campus. Itâs amazing how âsmartâ kids can be so stupid - but hey - they are teens.
Sometimes, I feel their behaviors reflect their entitled parents and/or lack of parenting. There seems to be less communication between girls and boys with so much texting, scrolling, social media, snap-chatting, etc. Do they even talk to each other in person? There are subtle digs at girls from boys - but I do not think it is unique to DA. I think there is sexism, disrespect and arrogance that is rampant at all boarding schools.
This goes on at all schools and itâs not just because a school used to be all- boys. I am not going to give them that excuse. Itâs too late for it. Last summer, a SPS woman another book was written about a sexual assault at SPS 30 years ago. What is relevant is this: The school representative- new HOS? (Kathy) still takes the approach of âWe are listening and learningâ. I wish she would have been more decisive or assertive in her response. I suggest watching this if you are a new parent of any boarding school - especially @ 19:00 - 26:00 mark in the video. The author of the book speaks about entitlement and how some students believe rules donât apply to them. This has not changed much IMHO from when she was a student.
This video provides a good platform upon which to have an authentic and honest conversation with your daughters about many issues at boarding school.
