My head is all over the place, so this is probably long and rambling. I don’t even know the right questions to ask.
D22 has a friend (will refer to her as F22) she met last year at school and they will be rooming together this year. She just so happens to live in the next town and their school is less than an hour away. She never had the best home life (details later) but does come home every weekend to work (and gives D22 a lift) so we told her she is welcome to stay here any time she wants. No need to call ahead and no need for D22 to be here. So far, she’s only stayed when D22 is here and it’s been about once or twice a month.
Last night her dad was rushed to the hospital in liver failure. He is a “raging alcoholic” according to F23. I know it’s bad because they immediately airlifted him to one of the big city hospitals. It looks like he probably won’t make it. F23s biological mother is unstable bipolar and lives in a housing project that isn’t safe. She has a horrible relationship with her stepmother and was only able to be in the house when her father was there as a buffer. There are half and step siblings, one of which (the youngest child) was removed from the home because it was unsafe.
F23 is now worried about where she will live if F23 passes away as she can’t really live with either bio mom or step mom. We told her she is welcome to live here full time.
I have some concerns about if she can really afford school. She has been paying for it all herself. The first year she received FA, but I just found out this year she didn’t fill out the forms as she was worried about something (seems to be connected to her stepmoms scam and dad claiming her on taxes but her claiming independent the previous year). Just wondering if with the change in her situation, she can now apply and what we can do to help her. Or, how we can best set her up to apply next year. I will also have to figure out what her medical insurance situation is. She just turned 20, so she is technically an adult. Apparently, no one has ever helped her with this stuff. We just found out she “winged” her taxes last year (but kudos to her for getting them done), so we’d really like to help her with the adulting part without being too invasive.
I have not but friends did so. See if kid can be signed up for Medicaid asap. Check if cellphone or car insurance are in her name. Is tuition for upcoming year paid?
She needs to find her birth certificate, social security card and passport if she has one
I have not but I have a friend who was taken in by her friend’s family as an older teen. It changed her life, she’s now a much-loved high school teacher.
Perhaps she would allow you to go with her to the financial aid office at her college…and seek their help. This sounds like quite the extenuating circumstance. You never know what the college might have to offer. In addition, she is absolutely able to file the FAFSA now…but the question is…how will she provide parent information or link to the IRS DRT when she files. These are questions to ask at the financial aid office. Perhaps they will have some guidance.
Does this student have any savings at all? Before this latest crisis, did she have a plan of some sort for paying for the term starting soon (have bills already been sent…and when are they due)?
Thank you for helping this student during this stressful time. I hope this all works out.
You are thoughtful to try to help. We have experience becoming the guardian of a relative’s 16 year when the parent was not able to ensure stability. The situation is different due to age and the fact that we had been an ongoing support in the teen’s life since birth.
In case it helps, here are some general thoughts:
-though the father’s medical situation is a crisis, sorting out what it makes sense for you to offer and what relevant fiscal, medical, legal, familial and educational variables impact that determination is a process. In this situation, likely a complex one. You don’t know how her father will be, nor what it means to intersect with the other unstable (perhaps not law abiding) adults in her life.
-it will help not to get ahead of both circumstances and your understanding of any legal and emotional (for F22) aspects of things. Offering to help sort things out over time in systematic ways allows for you to be more pro-active, make an informed decision about what to offer and also to model how to tackle pragmatic challenges by engaging F22 as a vital part of the process.
All the best. Taking a few steps back and slowing things down may help. Realize that your involvement could be perceived by other adults in her family as a threat, as well as a relief.
I would not be one her guardian because she probably could get more gouvernant assistance and FA if she is considered independent. Since she is 20, she also does not need a guardian. I would help her to navigate FA process and apply for government benefits, and offer her a place to stay when she needs it.
Yes, the guardianship was a requirement for having responsibility for a minor. Mentioned it only as a description of our circumstance of having someone else’s offspring join our household.
Another thought…and maybe a longshot but you never know. Do you know any organizations or something that might be able to offer this student a scholarship towards this fall term? This might buy some time to sort things out.
She has no relationship with mother? If not, I would assume that fathers death will relieve stepmom if fin responsibility to young adult step daughter. BUT, is there any inheritance coming to daughter?
Meanwhile, with father still alive, she is stuck without fin aid unless she can get a counselor at fin aid office to help her.
Of course you should open your home to this girl. Sounds as if she is a lovely young woman.
Medicaid is likely the best option if the college won’t give aid to cover health insurance, although check it is compliant with college requirements. D has found it easy to access in a couple of different states if she keeps her income (as a single person) under about $1500 per month.
But you need to not be a dependent to get Medicaid on your own. What did she do about last year’s tax return? She may be providing more than half of her own support, but perhaps not if she’s been living at home. That could complicate things.
And if she has untaxed income/savings or regular support from relatives that pushes her monthly income above $1500 then it is possible to fall into a problematic middle ground where taxed plus untaxed income is too high for Medicare but earned income is too low for Obamacare subsidies.
I like the idea of going with the young woman to talk to a financial aid officer, if possible. It’s possible she might qualify for a dependency override given the situation you described. If not, the aid officer can try to help the student in whatever manner they can. If the father does pass away, it actually makes a dependency override a bit more likely (since there doesn’t appear to be a relationship with the mother). It’s possible that there will be more clarity in a few days. Enlist the help of the financial aid office, because they will most likely want to help to the extent that they can.