I’ll provide a somewhat limited perspective on Carleton College. Our current junior there has lived in substance-free housing but hasn’t felt a need to seek out that housing each year. Does not party and seems to never feel left out by following that route. Academics and outside activities keep them busy as it is. See the following limited links to substance-free housing there:
https://apps.carleton.edu/newstudents/contact/faq/?faq_id=110131
https://apps.carleton.edu/handbook/housing/?policy_id=1711100
https://apps.carleton.edu/carletonian/?story_id=1064020&issue_id=1064007
Carleton has – for 60+ years – taken an egalitarian approach to student life, much more so than other colleges and especially more so than the eastern-U.S. LACs we visited as perspectives… Back in the day, this was established doctrine, and it has carried forward to the present. You need to visit your target campuses to capture the feel of each and to find which environment best suits you. So, acceptance of differences seems not to be much of an issue there in Northfield (nice downtown, BTW)…
Rated #1 in undergraduate teaching for a number of years, you will be provided good contact with and engaging teaching by profs there. At the college-selectivity level you are considering, a great education can be had at any of them. Find out where you feel you best fit in. To do that, you need to land on the campuses for a visit – don’t skimp on that.