<p>I’m also one of the students whose parents knew very little about applying to college other than taking some sort of test and calling the local college’s 1-800 number to ask for an application (I’m a first generation college student). I spent many years on CC looking for information, but didn’t post because most of my questions were answered either here or on a college’s website. If it wasn’t for CC, I would not be at the college I am now, paying less than I would be if I was commuting to my local state school. It took a lot of convincing for my parents to take me to college fairs and even to let me fill out FAFSA. Eventually, it came to a point where they just handed me a credit card and told me to use it for college stuff.</p>
<p>Yes, a lot of parents can answer their kids’ questions, especially if they post on CC, but a lot cannot. My parents need written directions on how to send an e-mail and don’t like/understand electronic payments. Sometimes, it’s just easier for the student to do things themselves.</p>
<p>I am a first generation to go to college, so my parents knew absolutely nothing about it.They still have no idea what is going on. I filled out everything including the parents sections on my financial aid. </p>
<p>Some parents just dont know what is going on. Not because there ignorant, but because my parents speak very little english so they trust me to take care of eveything. I relied on my counselors and this website to help me get through everything for college…</p>
<p>Recently we had a disagreement about something…and
I recently told DH that we welcomed his participation AND he should do some research before giving his opinion as fact (which in this case was very wrong) because so much has changed in the last 30 yrs…</p>
<p>LOL…we have two in college, and my DH still has no idea of the college process. When he recently overheard me talking to my sister about how much Vandy was per year, he was absolutely speechless. He had NO IDEA privates cost that much these days.</p>
<p>I think sometimes an outside opinion carries more weight, especially if you can get an opinion from MULTIPLE people instead of one or two (mom and dad.) It can be hard to suss how knowledgeable your parents really are on a subject, especially when you’ve lived with them your entire life up to that point. They’re too close.</p>
<p>Also, people hanging out at a specialty site (like one specifically about colleges) are more likely to have researched the topic (colleges) in depth than the average Joe.</p>
<p>I just had to convince my mother that Early Decision is a bad idea if you want the most possible financial aid.</p>
<p>LOL indeed. I was one of the parents who applied to (both) State U’s and went to the one I wanted. For DS, the HS provided a lot of useful information starting freshman year, but it was really here that I learned all the nuances and realities, which was a great help back when DS was applying. He was content to let me do the research (I do love research) and then he would review the schools themselves. He (and DH) never went near the FA forms!</p>
<p>And talking of DH - he has always believed that his own life experience is the best source for any kind of issue, not matter how many decades ago it took place. If I hear one more time, “when I was in college…”. Now that DS is a senior, all of the life experience relates to how the job search was done at that one college way back in the day. I could certainly see that a student given that kind of advice might turn elsewhere for, shall we say, a fresh outlook.</p>
<p>Due to CC (plus my own librarian research tendencies on college websites), I’ve become the de facto college consultant among my friends. My parents are highly educated *outside the US<a href=“even%20grad%20school”>/i</a>, so they have zero firsthand experience, and they really don’t/didn’t care about anything except prestige. They care very much about my academic achievements, but little about ECs and even less about being “involved” in my school, whatever level it is (elem/middle/high/college).</p>
<p>I don’t ask my parents questions about college things. Neither of them have ever been - my dad didn’t even finish HS. They would have no better idea than I do.</p>
<p>In this era of internet and technology, it is often easier to just post the question on the internet then try and find a time when they can ask their parents. With hectic job, and school schedules, it does take some planning, especially if you want a quick answer. The lack of quality family time is of concern to some social scientists. </p>
<p>I made it a point to schedule time with my S on a regular basis, so that we can discuss questions he has. On the other hand I have heard other students mention that it is just faster to post a question and get the answer the next day then do their own research or have a parent do it for them. May not be true for everyone but true for some.</p>
<p>My theory is that there are 3 type of kids here on CC:</p>
<p>1) first generation and their parents know nothing about college
2) their parents aren’t interested/involved. These parents went to college 30 years ago and their kid does all the grunt work himself/herself
3) it’s a kid whose on CC and other forums and doesn’t want to get up and talk to their parent (my son would fit in that 3rd category, but he’s not into college forums.)</p>
<p>*And talking of DH - he has always believed that his own life experience is the best source for any kind of issue, not matter how many decades ago it took place. If I hear one more time, “when I was in college…”. *</p>
<p>I think it’s a male thing…my 89 year old dad still thinks bread is a nickel a loaf. Well, he’s still looking for some; he knows it’s out there somewhere.</p>
<p>I think it is the parents’ responsibility to initiate this conversation – and it’s a difficult thing to do, given how reluctant many of us are to discuss household financies with our children. Nevertheless, it’s our job to inform them.</p>
<p>Perhaps some students post questions here because they can get answers without having to deal with the emotional context that they would have to cope with if they asked their own parents. With one’s own parents, there’s always a lot of backstory.</p>
<p>Very likely true. But, when the parents HAVEN’T initiated the conversation, the child should. Otherwise, you have kids just wildly making lists of colleges that are not affordable. </p>
<p>I can’t tell you how many times on CC, after seeing pricey lists of schools (many which don’t meet need, if there is need), we’ve asked kids to find out what their parents’ EFC is and can they pay it. It’s very sad to have the kids come back and say that their EFC is high, and their parents can’t/won’t pay much. It’s sad to “break their dream bubbles,” but it has to be done now while they’ll still have time to apply to affordable schools.</p>
<p>I think sometimes kids ask questions on this site because they hope to get current info and advice. They may know that their parents don’t have the advice to give, or will give bad advice based on assumptions from when they went to college or from what they’ve heard from co-workers, etc. College info can change from year to year. The nice scholarship a co-worker’s child got with an ACT 28, may now require an ACT 30 or may no longer exist. The break-in-tuition given to alumni’s kids may no longer exist. The stats needed for acceptance may have gone up. </p>
<p>No one needed a hook to get accepted to Harvard 30+ years ago, like they do today. My H was accepted with just a 4.0 from a so-so school and a very good (but not top) SAT. That change is not known to many parents.</p>
<p>See, I’m a parent whose kids haven’t posted here. </p>
<p>The reality in our household was that I had to totally educate myself on the college application process (financial aid and everything) so that I could guide my kids through the process. I was pretty clueless as I was given NO options when I attended college. Community college and I had no clue that student loans were even available. There was absolutely no discussion of what I ultimately wanted to do or anything…just go to the CC and figure out what was most appealing from what they offered.</p>
<p>However, I know at least one kid I was doing some college research for because his dad refused to fill out the FAFSA. (Dad wanted to reduce the kids options and force him into the military.)</p>
<p>So it’s definitely not safe to assume that a kid has parents at home that could answer the questions.</p>