<p>Have you noticed that teens post questions about apps and all kinds of stuff and what to do questions ...that a parent in their home could handle....</p>
<p>Although there have been some very honest serious posts that got great parental responses and advice/counsel...and My heart has gone out to some of these kids and these issues...</p>
<p>when it comes to the mundane apps questions etc</p>
<p>Do you think
a) they didn't ask mom/dad
b) they didn't trust or like mom/dad's answer
c) they are bored and reask questions they know the answers to...and are stalling in fixing their problem...
d) they don't have a paent in the home to ask
e) obligatory other--please explain...</p>
<p>;o)</p>
<p>Here we are on a web site--and although I am a parent posting in the parents forum...not ever poster here giving "sage" advice may be a parent, nor may the advice be wise...
So why "chance it" - kwim...</p>
<p>I think some kids may not trust their parents’ answer, so they just want confirmation from other adults too. It’s more (b) in my opinion. Frankly, I think some parents just don’t care either.</p>
<p>I think for most the answer is d. No parent, a parent not knowledgeable, or a parent who doesn’t care - and many of these kids also don’t get meaningful support from their schools. </p>
<p>I thought this thread was going to be:</p>
<p>“Have you noticed a lot of teens post questions that are already answered on the colleges’ websites?” !</p>
<p>How about another category, which is just post the answer while on this site since the student is online and can’t be bothered at the moment with interrupting Mom or Dad from whatever they are doing.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’ve noticed student posters getting panned much more by other student posters when they do this.</p>
<p>I know that when I was applying to college last year, I knew far more about the process than my parents did. As such, the internet because a much more instructive resource than parents. </p>
<p>Then again, my parents also did not go to school in the US.</p>
<p>When I applied to college (4 years ago–how time flies), it was assumed by my parents that I would do all of the research–picking out schools, figuring out merit aid/FA, etc. My parents are smart, college-educated people, but my “way” of applying (fit, merit aid, cross-country applying, etc) was new to them–my mom picked her college because Frank Zappa was playing there, and my did picked the same college (his only application!) because of the good skiing–and it ultimately worked out very well for both of them. </p>
<p>My parents have never had much regard for CC or any other forum, but ironically, the college I’ll be graduating from this spring is one that my parents love, that they have to pay relatively little for, and that I would have never have found if not for CC and the wonderful, helpful parents here!</p>
<p>I think a lot of parents are either too busy to invest a lot of time in understanding the college application process or they figure the school has it covered. </p>
<p>Or they think it is as simple as when they went to school. My experience and those of the other college-educated adults I know is that it was a pretty darn simple process back in the day. Most people (but certainly not everyone) just ‘knew’ they were going to the State U and that’s what they did. Even if they were going somewhere else, they may have applied to one or two schools and they were done. Now a days, it seems like the competition is so stiff (even at the State U) that the whole process of applying and getting in has taken on epic proportions. </p>
<p>Think about the whole SAT/ACT thing. People use to take it once, didn’t take a prep course and that was it. AP courses were barely in existence back then.</p>
<p>My point is a lot of parents don’t see it as a huge deal. You apply to a couple of colleges and you pick one from the places you were accepted and that’s it. I know TONS of kids in our area (public and private) who just know they want to go to one of the state schools and they will get in. A lot of the parents I talk to just shrug and say ‘little Johnnie is handling it, I don’t get involved.’ I’m always surprised because I have felt the need to be involve and understand the process. But then again, I tend to be a little obsessive compulsive about these things :)</p>
<p>The kids (and parents) here on CC seem to be aiming a lot higher and thus, there is a need for a lot more information and there’s a lot more anxiety.</p>
<p>I literally didn’t even realize college selection was a family process for some people until I came here, it never occurred to me that it would be. NOBODY I know comes from families whose parents paid a bit of attention to the college process. Some of them are first gen college students, but not all of them are. I’m sure the reasons for their questions could range a-d, but not having a knowledgeable/interested parent to ask might be more common than one would guess looking at this forum. I guess I don’t know.</p>
<p>The students I’ve gotten to know here are more savvy than I ever was about colleges, and I think many of them are first generation, if not for college, for aiming as high as some of them are.</p>
<p>How many times have you told your kid something multiple times, and then have them come back to you and say, “Mr. Smith just told me to [insert that thing here]”? Happened to me all the time.</p>
<p>Teens particularly don’t trust anything their parents say. And as far as the college process is concerned, kids believe (often correctly) that their parents may be too invested in the whole process to give them a good, objective answer. So they come here, either to verify what their parents have said or to get advice from people with no dog in the fight.</p>
<p>I think it’s a very healthy thing to happen.</p>
<p>I figured that people come here because they can get a few people confirming the answer to their question and usually parents aren’t academically involved in their kids lives. The most interest my mom shows in my grades in when my grades begin to slip. She doesn’t really know much about the SAT/ACT/AP tests but she hands over her credit cards and lets me buy as many prep books/tests as I see fit. </p>
<p>The point is most parents went to school in a different time, my mother never took the SAT and my father dropped out of art college. They support me financially but I am solely responsible for finding colleges, doing test prep and figuring out how to pay for it. Sure my mom will drive me to visit colleges and take me to SAT prep she simply doesn’t have time for the amount of research it’s going to take for me to get accepted to college that I will enjoy.</p>
<p>I think I fall under the category of those that post questions that their parents could answer. And ya, I’ll be first in my family to go to college so I can’t really turn to my parents.</p>
<p>Many kids get into the college search process without going to their parents first to find out…</p>
<p>1) what the parents are willing to pay each year</p>
<p>2) what the family’s likely EFC will be </p>
<p>Actually, MANY parents think that the college process is just like it was when they went 30 years ago. They haven’t bothered to find out that…</p>
<p>1) the application process is much earlier</p>
<p>2) kids apply to many more schools nowadays</p>
<p>3) tution AND room and board cost A LOT more than when they went.</p>
<p>4) many schools DON"T offer merit money</p>
<p>5) kids with high GPA’s don’t often get merit moneyat merit schools UNLESS their child also has very high SAT/ACT’s also</p>
<p>6) Out of state tuition at publics can be almost as much as privates.</p>
<p>7) Ivies and similar don’t give merit money.</p>
<p>8) because college costs have far outpaced inflation, most kids cannot “work their way” thru college anymore.</p>
<p>9) “Need” is not determined by the family. FAFSA doesn’t care about your personal debt. Your EFC is likely much higher than you thought it would be.</p>
<p>10) Student loans are considered to be financial aid. Much of FA is student loans at many schools.</p>
<p>I think it’s also possible that students want to be independent. There’s a difference between asking your mother for help and asking people on the Internet for help - one feels like you’re doing a whole lot more by yourself.</p>
<p>I filled out all of my college applications by myself, and I didn’t ask my parents to do anything for me, because I thought that it was my responsibility to apply to schools and to get my work done. I asked my teachers and other adults around me for help. It’s possible that students who ask these sorts of questions are just doing this.</p>
<p>Most parents don’t know that much about college applications and the selection process. This is true even of college educated parents. Parents who are on CC have a rare amount of interest in and knowledge about the college app process. Most parents really don’t care as much about this as most of us do. This even is true of many parents whose kids head to some of the best college colleges in the country.</p>
<p>I ask questions because I’m on my own in this process. I pay app fees, pay for a ACTs, and filled out our Profile by myself
Sometimes, things don’t make sense to me the way they would to an adult with more experience and since my own parents are uninterested, I try here</p>
<p>All great points…
In our case my DH has no clue about all the changes, FAFSA, etc etc…
Our student and I are handling all the research etc…
Recently we had a disagreement about something…and
I recently told DH that we welcomed his participation AND he should do some research before giving his opinion as fact (which in this case was very wrong) because so much has changed in the last 30 yrs…</p>
<p>DH’s folks didn’t help him much–he was the first gen to go to school and so in some ways he doesn’t know what he could do to help now and also thinks our student should hanlde it all alone, not knowing what these kids are up against…</p>
<p>My folks didn’t help much in the research/money/app process (though thankfully my mom did take me on a road trip to tour) My mother didn’t go to college and my dad went to the community college in the neighboring town and lived at home.</p>
<p>Another possible reason is that maybe they want second, third, fourth, etc. opinions. This process is pretty big, and maybe they DO trust their parents and they DO talk to them, but they want affirmation, other thoughts, brainstorming, etc. It might not be as bleak as your suggestions a-e in the Original Post might suggest. Let’s hope so anyway. I would not want to think that many kids have to do this all alone. But obviously some do.</p>