Here’s some bullet points of my essay. It’s still not finished and I’ve never been so nervous in my life right now because my first deadline is freaking jan 1.
- Family essay
- The essay starts with how my mom and I would make paper dolls when I was little. Takes place in my apartment in taiwan.
- a quote from my mom "why buy cheap plastic toys when you can design you own?"
- from making dolls, I developed a passion for art.
- The story evolves as I started practicing art on my own and hated being "self taught" and want to take art classes. But my mom refused, believing that i already know how to create art.
- Blah blah blah i grew up realizing that my mom kept my creativity alive and gave me challenges to conquer.
- some examples about how I later branch out with my passion and started experiencing new stuff.
(don’t have a conclusion yet)
One of my friend told me that I’m telling too much about myself and that I’m supposed to be talking about one specific thing?
And yes I’m aware that I might look like I’m procrastinating since it’s already been half way through december and I’m still here sweating my butt off. But I do have back up drafts, they are average, but i just want my essay to be perfect.
I think it sounds pretty good. Your essay is supposed to be about you (that is the point, actually!). Read the essay tips pinned at the top of this forum and think about the goal of the essay. I’d say you are on a good track. In general, weight it more to your HS years, make the early part brief if you can.
@intparent Oh thank you so much for pointing that out, I’ve just noticed that I DID focus on my early years more than I did on my high school years. Thank you!!!
I think that your base sounds really good - it’s a unique way of talking about your passion for art that college admissions probably hasn’t seen before. I’d definitely caution you against being too “anti-school” in how you go about your mom’s refusal to admit you into art classes. If you’re fantastic on your own, why would colleges need to admit you? Obviously, that’s not what you’re trying to say, but avoid falling into that trap that could come up as a red flag to counselors.
You also don’t need to “prove” your worth through your essay. Some of the best essays come across more like stories. If you’re having writer’s block, maybe try to write a draft in the third person and see if that jogs anything.
Best of luck!
@nitronicala great idea because i just noticed that my essay is a bit anti school.
I’m thinking of adding some experiences and such? I didn’t take any art lessons but I did go to some summer camps, would that count? (because I always get tips saying that summer camps are useless)
Or maybe I can say something like I’m excited to go to college and get professional guidances with art?
@littlecorvidae The common app essay doesn’t need to be a place to talk about what you’ve necessarily accomplished (unless it connects to your prompt, of course!). You crafting paper dolls in your apartment in Taiwan with your mother’s wisdom drifting in your ears is FAR more interesting than a summer camp could ever be. Lean into it! Put yourself back there and remember the sights, the smells, how everything felt. Your essay doesn’t even necessarily have to have a quick blurb about college at the end - it’s called a personal statement for a reason. Tell your story. 
Hmm. Maybe a slight pivot to realizing that some guidance from art school now that your creativity has had a chance to blossom seems like a good next step? Or something like that.
Don’t put in summer experiences just to mention them unless they contribute to the arc of the story you are trying to tell about your creativity and art. Summer programs aren’t bad in themselves - what you learned at them (especially about yourself and your interests) is the important part.