Help me figure out how to deal with this

Applying to College
1

<p>So, im an international student and i graduated high school almost 4 years ago. Because of extremely over-protective and conservative parents, i was FORCED to go to a near college and pick a major of THEIR choice although i was accepted in some very good school abroad. Needless to say, i spent 3 years suffering from severe depression getting the worst grades possible studying something i had no interest in. I even developed suicidal thoughts that made seek counseling (the therapist offered it for free since my parents dont believe in counseling). Long story short, i managed to convince them that i have no intention of pursuing that path so i dropped out of that college.</p>

<pre><code> Here comes the problem. Now that im applying to US schools for undergraduate studies, i dont know if i should mention this dark period of my life because im afraid they will ask for my grades (which sucked). And i doubt any school will accept me based on those grades, especially since im applying for FinAid for most of them.
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<p>Im applying as a first year student not as a transfer. I have no intention of transferring any credits. I just want to forget about everything and start over. Should i avoid mentioning this small college experience? </p>

<p>I have fairly good high school grades, two perfect SAT subject tests and I feel like i will do very well on SAT. I also took a gap year where i landed some pretty good internships and was extremely involved (if not professionally) in the social work domain (community service and such) and civil rights movement plus some other things that i can add to my EC list.</p>

<p>Whatcha think CC ?</p>

2

<p>You are a transfer student. You have to include official copies of your academic record from your previous university. You can’t hide those old bad grades, sorry.</p>

<p>If you haven’t yet read through everything at [EducationUSA</a> | Study Abroad, Student Visa, University Fairs, College Applications and Study in the U.S. / America](<a href=“http://www.educationusa.state.gov/]EducationUSA”>http://www.educationusa.state.gov/) you should do so. Then, you should make an appointment with the counselors at the advising center closest to where you live. They will be able to help you with the application process.</p>

<p>You probably should identify colleges/universities where you won’t need any financial aid. It will be easier for you to be admitted to those places. If you demonstrate that you are capable of earning very good grades, you may be able to transfer to a different college/university in the future.</p>

<p>During this process, you should stay in touch with your therapist. Make certain that you are in the best mental health possible before you start studying at your next institution.</p>

<p>Wishing you all the best.</p>

3

<p>So even if im not interested in transfering any credits i have to apply as a transfer student ? No admission page i checked said that I was REQUIRED to apply as a transfer.
I think i would have a better chance getting accepted if I dont state i attended any college and just say that I worked random jobs.
I got pretty familiar with application process over the past few months, but this Transfer/First year thing never bugged me enough since i never thought about transferring old credits (especially since they have nothing to do with the new degree im applying for).
Can you please confirm that ?</p>

4

<p>Read them again, you have no choice, you’re a transfer. Even if you lied, which could lead to having any degree taken away, how would you explain the last 3 years? Getting aid is extremely competitive, you need an impressive record through school and any gap year/s.</p>

5

<p>If you read the admissions sites carefully, you will see that colleges define transfer students as anyone who has “matriculated at another institution”–not whether that student wants to transfer his credits. </p>

<p>You cannot just choose to ignore your past university record. If any other student, professor, or departmental advisor finds out you misrepresented yourself, the new college can rescind your acceptence, toss you out of school, or withdraw your degree anytime after you graduate from that college. So- say you gained acceptance after lying about not having attended any college, attended , and graduated. Would you want to worry for the rest of your life that the college would cancel your degree?</p>

<p>Could you be sure your fellow students or colleagues would not inform on you? Much better to just be honest and forthright from the beginning.</p>

<p>Cross posted with above ^^^.</p>

6

<p>First of all, if you forget about the college thing, I really believe that i have as much as chance as most people here to get FinAid(and ive been lurking for quiet some time). I can also say that some aspects of my application “folder” are very impressive and unique. Im only retaking my Sat because i wasn’t satisfied with my CR section. I scored 800 in both Math2 and french(without listening).
Second, some of the colleges i chose made it clear that they do not accept international transfer applicants. Others do but cannot offer any aid. And almost all of these select very very few transfer students.
Why is this such a big deal ? shouldn’t students decide whether they want to transfer their credits or not ? It just makes sense to me.</p>

<p>Edit: Just read Fauve’s reply. Should i discuss this with admission officers ? Do you guys think that this “interrupted college experience” would completely disqualify me even if every other aspect of my application is great ?</p>

7

<p>I think your three college years of “of grades that suck” will hurt your application despite your high school record and SATs. That said, some colleges will probablu be willing to give you a chance to transfer and start over, if you communicate your renewed commitment to academics and willingness to succeed.</p>

<p>You just want to be honest, and realize you will have to settle for a lower-ranked college. If you succeed in undergrad transfer years, you can strive for a great grad school.</p>

8

<p>Sigh… I was hoping my tests and Ec’s would overshadow those college grades.
And believe me,I have no problem with low-rank colleges except that I rely on Finaid, and almost none of those offer any.
Now everything seems impossible, and i had high hopes damn it.</p>

9

<p>You can take out loans, do well, and try for grants and FA for grad school.</p>

10

<p>Good luck getting a student loan at my country. US private loans for internationals are a whole different story.
Maybe some college will take a chance believing in me, or not. I deserve a chance.</p>

11

<p>You have three years worth of credits already!
Why not return to the first school for one last year, do well, and spend your energy on applying to graduate school?</p>

12

<p>Because its a 5 years college. My bad grades were due to the fact that i didnt want to be there in the first place. So i really dont believe staying for 2 more years will do me any good.
My parents didnt allow me to leave the country because they found out I was gay, that’s why they enrolled me in the Local college so I can “straighten up” under their supervision. When they finally figured out that it was only making me worse (the college) they’re now considering letting me leave to the US, for the sole condition that i get engaged before leaving to any girl of their choice. My plan is to get my degree in the US, and start supporting myself so ill never need their help.
So as you can see, its a very complicated situation. I dont plan on mentioning this aspect of my life in my essays because I dont want to seem like Im begging for anything. I just want a chance to start over like everyone else. Isnt this what the US is all about ?
American students on this forum should be very grateful, they tend to take their freedom for granted and forget how many opportunities are given to them, as opposed to a poor student from a 3rd world country. I may not make it to my dream college, but i hope this will give some people some perspective.</p>

<p>EDIT: some typos.</p>

13

<p>Also, I proved On my SAT1 and SAT2 that Im in fact as qualified if not more than the majority of American students applying for college. I just feel so helpless about something that i couldn’t do anything about. Should I live a lie and pretend that i didnt learn anything in the last 3 years ? Im afraid i cant.</p>

14

<p>I really sympathize with your position, and I hope it works out well for you. But you have to understand it from the point of view of U.S. college admission officials. First, like others have said, you have to tell them about your current college. This isn’t so much an issue of whether credits apply, as it that college admission officials want to understand who you are as a person, which means understanding what you’ve been doing for the past three years of your life. Like someone else noted, even if you did omit your college experience, admission officials are still going to wonder what you’ve been doing for the past 3 years of your life, something you can’t explain without mentioning the college. Now this is my take on the situation, and granted i’m mainly familiar with highly selective colleges in the U.S. so it may not be completely accurate, but I think if you fully explain your situation, than the college admissions officials will at least be sympathetic. I can’t say if that will translate into financial aid or acceptances, but there is a big difference between someone who slacked off for the past 3 years and got bad grades in college, and someone like you who was in a rather extreme and difficult positon, that resulted in the bad grades, and if you explain all that openly and honestly, they will at least understand where you’re coming from. For more specific advice I’d reccommend trying to find some sort of counselor, whether online or where you live, that could advise on things like certain schools not accepting international transfers, your chances for financial aid, any special scholarship opportunities, etc. </p>

<p>Best of luck</p>

15

<p>Thanks aedmic I really appreciate your help. Getting proper advise in my country is out of the question since disclosing this kind of personal information is punishable by law. So internet is my only option. Needless to say, over the past month i got pretty familiar with colleges in the US and I narrowed my choices to a couple of LAC’s with a “supposedly” holistic admission process.
In my case, FinAid is pretty important although i expect to contribute. Which narrows my college choice to only private and “somewhat rich” colleges that can afford Finaid to internationals.
And i really wouldnt want exploit my “situation” to gain sympathy from admission officers, im sure they hear stories like mine all the time. I was hoping my Tests and EC’s do the talking but what can you do…</p>

<p>Thanks for taking the time to reply. I really do appreciate it.</p>

16

<p>The unfortunate thing is fauve does not have a clue what he’s talking about.</p>

<p>You simply can not ignore 3 years of college, it’s just the rules US colleges play by. Your best bet is to finish at home and to look to the US for grad school. </p>

<p>Your situation is unfortunate, but the truth is you can not explain away what you spent the past 3 years doing and come away with the rare aid available to intnl students.</p>

<p>Now if you can afford a hefty part, there are second and third tier schools that might thrown in a few thousand in ‘merit’ aid.</p>

17

<p>Yeah that’s one thing I forgot to mention, as you figured out, you’ll definitely want to try and apply to places that evaluate applications holistically and can better accomadate a situation like yours. Whereas I know some of the larger schools just use a formula to determine whether you’re accepted or not.</p>

<p>Also I wouldn’t call it exploiting your situation, because, as I see it, your situation (of unsympathetic parents forcing you to go to that college) is what caused your poor record in college, therefore it makes sense to talk about it. Whereas if you had done great in college, but still brought up your situation, than I could see it more as exploitation. </p>

<p>Also, here’s a section from this article ([MIT</a> Admissions | Info For Schools & Counselors: Writing Evaluations](<a href=“http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/schools/writing_evaluations/index.shtml]MIT”>http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/schools/writing_evaluations/index.shtml)) that somewhat relates to you:</p>

<p>[hypothetical guidance counselor reccomendation]
*Jane is an outstanding young woman whose academic record may not fully reflect her ability. Her parents were divorced during her junior year, and, for several years before that, her home situation had been in turmoil with a great deal of fighting between her parents. Her father has an alcohol problem and Jane certainly endured a great deal of emotional distress. The fact that she has been able to do as well as she has done given the circumstances says a lot for her. Now that the home situation has stabilized, her performance has improved. I believe her senior year grades are a much better reflection of her ability.</p>

<p>[analysis by MIT admissions officials]
Critique: You may wonder whether or not the above information is appropriate in a letter of evaluation. It is! We appreciate anything that gives us insight and perspective into a student’s performance and environment. Comments about problems that a student has experienced will help us understand the context in which they have accomplished whatever they have achieved. The extent to which they have dealt with these problems is useful to know as well.*</p>

<p>as you can see the college admission officials at this highly selective school (MIT) highly valued knowing about a students personal struggles, and especially, how that affects their performance acedamically. Not to mention, how overcoming adversity like that could shapes who you are and what you value. It sounds like you have a lot of ambition and determintation, more than most kids who are going to be applying to undegraduate colleges. So bringing up those qualities in one of your essays, and how they’ve developed as a result of what you’ve been through, could certainly help. </p>

<p>I’ve been reading a book on college application essays, and the highest ranked essay in the book (ranked by college admissions officials) was an essay to harvard by a student who was growing up both gay and asian, and he spent his essay just talking about his experience of being gay, and how that’s shaped him as a person, and the adverstity he’s had to overcome. Granted the guy was also also very intelligent and mature, and the essay was extremely well written, but it still goes to show that talking about personal subjects like that, and how they’ve affected you, can really work well. Again, I’ve been only looking into highly selective colleges (ivies, top liberal arts colleges) so that’s where all my knowledge, but I think all this would still apply to some degree to anyplace that uses a holistic grading scale. </p>

<p>Lastly, for more specific information I’d recommend just emailing a couple schools like Yale ([Contact</a> Us | Yale College Admissions](<a href=“http://admissions.yale.edu/contact-us]Contact”>Connect With Yale Admissions | Yale College Undergraduate Admissions)) and the like, even if you’re not planning on applying there, fully describing your situation, and seeing what they have to say. That way you can get advice from admissions officials, and the worst thing that will happen is they’ll just ignore your email. On the other hand, if you email enough schools like that you’re likely to get some concrete, more knowledgeable advice.</p>

18

<p>I appreciate your reply Redroses. I wish i can finish the last 2 years, i just cant :frowning:
Apparently my best bet is to embrace my situation and try to explain why I do want to start over.</p>

<p>Thanks for following this thread Redroses. Any other suggestion or advice will be most helpful and appreciated.</p>

<p>Edit: Reading Aedic’s reply.
Also, im very overwhelmed by how much people are willing to help and give judgment-free advice. Thanks everyone :)</p>

19

<p>First step is to understand no US college is going to let you start over. It’s that simple. Many would like to do this, none can.</p>

<p>I think you need to assess what your family can afford and look at schools you can pay for. There are many that will admit you if you Dan pay.</p>

20

<p>What do you mean exactly by “Many would like to do this, none can”.
It is also my understanding that many people choose to work random jobs after high school (in some cases it took them years) only to start college few years later. How is my case different ? I would say my experience is much more valuable. And to be honest, would you worry about your money on someone with experience ?
I also found that many Top schools encourages students to take some time off after Highschool.</p>