I think WashU is an awesome school that I’ll probably love. I’ve already fallen in love with the campus through pictures and I’ve already been accepted. I’d be overjoyed to go there, but my family has some concerns. Especially when I want them to pay upwards of 65K a year for a school they haven’t really heard of. They were kind of hoping for the prestige of a more widely known school, like an ivy. However, I’ve been blessed with WashU.
Also in case it comes up, paying that much money isn’t impossible for my family, but it is a little painful. My family has already said they’d help me pay almost completely for school.
What I want is advice on how I convince my family that WashU is well worth it. I want to get my family as excited as I am. Also, if it matters I intend to major in Political Science.
I need to know this too so I think I’ll just lurk here for a while.
FlapEardKnave: I’m a parent so maybe I can help you with your parents. I suspect your parents are like me. That is, they would do just about anything legal and in their power to help their child be successful. However, it is a fact that as smart and as relatively wise as you are at 18, your parents know that your perspective on the world can’t be fully formed yet. So they will be weighing your thought process carefully for indications that the decision is being made for the “right” reasons. They are already looking ahead to spring and summer breaks, to summer jobs and internships, to graduate school. In other words, they are looking at the whole picture. I suspect that you’ve earned their respect, and that for the most part you’ve done the right things in your life, otherwise you wouldn’t have been admitted to WashU, which brings me to my advice. Simply explain your plan to your parents. Why is it that WashU is the right school? Is it an academic program? Is it a progression you can make from an academic department to a good future in research or industry? Is it simply because you feel good about being there? That’s an important factor too. Being comfortable at a place means you are more likely to thrive, which in the end is what your parents really want you to do. I predict that in the final analysis your parents will look at you for a long moment, with love and gratitude in their hearts that they have raised such a wonderful child, and then they will give their blessing, and you will begin your exciting journey at WashU. But know that there will always be concern inside of them, even as you begin, and even as you get through 1, 2 even 3 semesters. And you can do your part in repaying your parents by following through on the plan that you described to them. Best of luck to you.
I will speak to this from two perspectives, as a parent of a son who graduated and a daughter who has just been accepted, and as someone who works in academia.
WashU is highly respected as an academic institution. When my son was first accepted, I had many conversations with professors from a diverse set of fields not only at my university, but also friends teaching at our local HYPSM school. All of them were extremely positive about the reputation of WashU within academia, and they said that they looked very favorably on students from there who were applying to graduate programs at their school. While most everyone knows WashU’s strength within the medical community, my son was not interested in pre-med, so I made sure to check out other fields in both the sciences and humanities.
My son was able to get highly competetive summer research positions at a HYPSM school, which speaks to the respect that WashU has among people who need to know, even if not every “man in the street” has heard of it. When he applied to graduate school, he was accepted at several top programs in his field (which I will keep anonymous for privacy reasons). Forming connections with professors is important for garnering strong letters of recommendation for grad school, and at WashU, my son found the professors to be very accessible and open to mentoring students in research. Every one of his friends whom I have met has been successful at either finding a good job or being accepted into a strong graduate program.
WashU has the reputation of being a collaborative environment, and my son confirmed that this is true. He said the people (even the pre-meds) were not cut-throat or over-bearing, despite how smart they were. He is shy, but the school did so much, particularly freshman year, to create community among the students, and he made strong friendships. Of all the schools I am familiar with, WashU’s administration seems to really go out of its way to try to make its students happy.
@flapeardknave Hello - congrats on your acceptance to Wash U! My D is at Wash U and she says it is the BEST. It FITS her and she is really happy there. Wash U has a very collaborative environment and she thrives in that kind of place. She doesn’t even want to come home for breaks.
We had a physics professor advise us that FIT is the most important thing in selecting the college. He said “happy students are successful students”. It’s so true. It’s like buying a home or a pair of jeans that you like. I will tell you as a mom - the best thing you’ll ever hear from your child is “I’m so happy and I love it here”. It instantly makes you happy. I even stopped crying after she left for her freshman year because she was so happy.
I know of another person that is at another top 20 US News ranking university because of the prestige and he literally hates it there. He doesn’t like the cut throat culture and doesn’t fit in and unfortunately he is thinking about transferring. Its so important to pick the school that you like. If you love it that is even better!
Also, there are thousands of colleges just in the US and you cannot possibly know them all. I don’t. For example, have you heard of Harvey Mudd? I haven’t and I was told they are the MIT on the west coast. The Ivys’ aren’t the best schools. The best schools are what fits you. There are a vast number of really good colleges out there. The Ivy’s aren’t the only ones. You have Stanford, MIT, Wash U, ND, Vanderbilt, Harvey Mudd, Northwestern, JHU, and tons of LACS, etc. Obviously the Ivy’s are NOT better than these schools. That’s really silly! They are all great but they are all very different. I mean they differ in size, culture (i.e. collaborative vs. cut throat), location, etc. The key is finding what FITS you. Good luck!!
I will chime in as another parent who had one child who attended, graduated from and loved Wash U, and another who has chosen to go somewhere else. Remind your parents you are hopefully talking about the next 4 years of your life, so being somewhere where you feel happy and comfortable is much more important than prestige and a well known name. My oldest who attended Wash U had two good friends while attending that came in as transfers, one from Yale and one from MIT. Both enjoyed attending Wash U much more than those other two more “name worthy” schools. Not that MIT and Yale are not incredible schools, they were just not the best matches for those two students.
The fact that you love Wash U shows that you would probably be happier there than more recognizable schools. Do you have time to visit the campus with your parents before your decision? If you and your parents have time to visit and talk to the very accommodating faculty and staff, that could easily convince them that Wash U is the place for you (and worth all the extra tuition.) Wash U does everything in their power to make the undergraduate experience as enjoyable as possible for their students (they definitely do not mind spending money!) And it would surely be better for you (and your parents) to start at Wash U and stay the 4 years, than to attend somewhere else and then have to transfer after 1 or 2 years at someplace where you are not as happy.
And as for future prospects after graduation, Wash U prepares their students for graduate school or professional careers as well as any other top tier school. As green678 stated, top graduate programs all know that Wash U produces high caliber students with the same academic rigor as Ivy League schools. Would a employer or graduate program prefer someone who unpleasantly grinded their way through Johns Hopkins or Yale, or someone who enjoyed a challenging but fulfilling and enjoyable 4 years at Wash U?
As for our second child, he visited Wash U and though he thinks it is a great school, he has decided to go somewhere else which he feels is a better fit for him. We think that is great too. Different people prefer different things.
I think you could give them concrete reasons for why WashU is a good fit for you and why it would be a good university. You might name some relevant stats. They may not have heard of the school, but there are plenty of excellent US universities that give a comparable education to the Ivies. For one, you could start with the fact that political science at WashU is an excellent department, you might name the 90% 4 year graduation rate, excellent research opportunities, program in Washington DC, etc. You will obviously know your parents and yourself better than I would, so you can sort of tailor this list to your family. Good luck and congrats on being accepted!
Another point, which may or may not be helpful depending on your family cultural values: it’s your college. It’s ultimately your decision as an adult what to do with your life. Financial support is important, but going to Wash U is never going to be the kind of self-destructive behavior that parents should be steering kids from. If money is going to be similar regardless of which of your top schools you choose, it should be up to you!
I respectfully disagree with you, @thebunny. This is not a simple outright gift of $250k. It is agreement to pay for a college education, and the question of where best to invest is a material one. Colleges are not fungible and students have unique wants and needs. “Fit” is complex.
Even setting aside our own need to be fiscally responsible, don’t we parents owe our kids a lesson here? Don’t we owe them a sharing of some of our life experience in how to make an objective analysis in reaching a rationally supportable conclusion? Even Bill Gates would be acting irresponsibly as a parent if he just wrote the check without teaching his kid how to analyze and evaluate the available options. My daughter at Wash U could tell you anything you want to know about organic chemistry. A couple of years ago when she was being recruited to play her sport at William and Mary, the coach asked her what she liked about the school and she replied “the historic buildings”. It’s called being 16, and 17 isn’t much better. I urge you to go back up and re-read Kaukauna’s sage view on this.
The OP is doing exactly the right thing in asking for suggestions to support his/her pitch. I think somewhere in the course of thinking a bit more about this s/he has realized that more analysis beyond “I think WashU is an awesome school that I’ll probably love. I’ve already fallen in love with the campus through pictures” would be in order here in talking with Mom and Dad. Case in point: My first daughter approached me about an expensive school and about halfway through, I said “OK” and she said, “But Dad, don’t you want to see the spreadsheets I prepared?” and I said, "Honey, I’ve done the spreadsheets myself. You had me at “My goal is…”.
I want to thank everyone for the awesome advice.
A certain point that @green678 said really helped me formulate my reasons to feel confident in choosing Wash U; it is the fact that Wash U is known regionally and within academia. My personal experience is obviously limited, but what I’ve found is that most people in my high school have never heard of Wash U, but those who have know it’s a great school. What I found particularly useful to think about was the argument that it doesn’t matter if every “man in the street” knows the school. The school stands on its own.
Another very important point you guys helped me pin down was fit. @newjersey17’s physics teacher said it best, “happy students are successful students.”
I’ve spoken with my parents, and we concretely think that Wash U is the best choice for me. I’m happy and I can’t wait until next year.
Our blended families are weighing WashU, ND, UIUC, and Mizzou… NO easy task…With Mizzou making us rethink the high price of the others… WashU and ND will come down to what we can afford, our daughter understanding what each school is offering and educational bonuses… Even though I believe both schools may have some degree of collaboration. You are still competing with everyone around you for opportunity. No easy task… We have listed pro’s and cons and weighed her ability to run D3… All the others it’s clubs…Being able to list what you hope to accomplish at each school is important. ND D1 athletics -alumni network—Catholicism… distance from home…
costs for our family range from 44,000 on high end to 13,000-- huge difference when daughter mentions medical school interest…
With no easy answers.
@wiseacre you’re so right–there aren’t any easy answers. I am going to guess that you are Illinois residents. If so, I understand. Don’t get me wrong, I bleed the orange and blue of my dear alma mater in C-U but the cost to attend our flagship state school is a difficult pill to swallow. Meanwhile, the folks at Mizzou have certainly leveraged that and pulled lots of prospective UI students away with their residency opportunity and merit money. In my view, Mizzou has done a remarkable job of maintaining the state university’s accessibility for a wide range of Missouri students while also enticing kids from out of state who have been accepted to highly selective schools. I think there is tremendous value offered by Mizzou, especially given that your daughter (like mine) is considering Med School and an additional 4 years of expense. Several of my daughter’s high achiever former HS classmates have been very happy in Columbia and have solid prospects of medical school in their future.
And then, as you say, ND and WUSTL offer some networking, academic and other bonuses that are difficult to put an economic value on.
I wish I could offer more concrete advice for you but maybe there is some small comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in either dealing with this dilemma or considering Mizzou as a viable option.