<p>SteveMA</p>
<p>You are right about the name game. I feel(wrongly) like Kenyon is this great school for writers (which is his thing) but honestly is it 250K better? I do think the teacher comments fed this concern, and insecurity on my part that I wasn’t sending this very smart kid to the best school. We are going to visit again this week. Any other comments or thoughts would be welcomed!</p>
<p>My D last year struggled with a similar choice: A top-tier private at full pay (which we could afford), and a much lower-ranked (but very nice) school with a large scholarship. She liked the second school very much, especially because it offered her an academic program that she couldn’t get at any of her other options, but her biggest concern that the student body wasn’t a good fit for her and that she’d regret not having gone to a more prestigious UG. </p>
<p>She wasn’t able to re-visit the “top” school (due to time and money). She knew it would be “great” but didn’t feel a huge personal pull to go there, and the academic program wasn’t exactly what she was looking for. At the “lower” school, she was concerned about being too above the norm intellectually, but she also had a great Honors College opportunity and the major program was a perfect fit. </p>
<p>Ultimately she chose the “lower” school because she did not want to pass up the unique education she could get there. A year later, I would say that the program and the Honors College have more than made up for any deficits in the school atmosphere. In the long run, she is realizing that her own work, the professors she has access to, and her small group of selected peers are the core of her college experience. She has gotten over her worries that she should have gone to a “better” school, and she is very glad to be saving all of that money.</p>
<p>I have an older D that went to a prestigious and costly U. She was thrilled and happy overall. She knew kids there whom she admired, and ones who just partied and didn’t seem to care. In the long run, for her, too, the most important aspects of college were her program, some very specific profs, and her small group of real friends. For both of my kids, location was very important, too. Neither one would have been happy in a small, isolated school (although we know many kids who have). This piece of self-knowledge saved them both a lot of unhappiness.</p>
<p>My daughter is a high school senior and we also went through the process this year.</p>
<p>I think that the parents owe it to themselves to not mess up their financial situation too badly. So if it is a financial burden to pay for the more expensive college, or if it involves significant loans, the parents should not allow their child to attend. </p>
<p>I now realize it is incumbent upon parents to tell their children at the beginning of the process how what is the most they will be spending for college and the circumstances under which they will not be accepting the best financial package.</p>
<p>Another thing I learned from this process is how important it is for parents and children to designate safe schools that are likely to yield significant grants. The bottom line is that the children should know as early as possible that they may not be going to the “best” college and that they must consider not only the “best fit” but also the “best financial fit”.</p>
<p>I believe it is important to have this conversation as early as possible.</p>
<p>I think this situation is a perfect microcosm of what is going on financially in affording higher education currently. Many, many parents are–after months of winnowing down options–down to this either/or decision whether to sacrifice their own lifestyle to let their child attend a $50K school that will not give any aid or have their kid attend a ‘good value’ school. I’ll bet you that 80% (or more) of the parents in this dilemma this season are choosing the less-expensive option.</p>
<p>You watch–if this goes on for a couple more years, you’ll see endowments for merit money start to open up for non-low income students at these high-octane colleges. That’ll justify the net cost because no way will they ever lower tuition.</p>
<p>“In the long run, for her, too, the most important aspects of college were her program, some very specific profs, and her small group of real friends.”</p>
<p>Yes, this is exactly right, EmmyBet. </p>
<p>I like this thread. Down to earth and without conceit.</p>
<p>A neighbor’s D was a smart kid in h.s…not NMF but a good student. She was not a partier. She was a theater kid who loved horses,did six weeks in Korea as an exchange student, sang beautifully (was recorded for a childrens CD and got paid for it) and wanted to major in Art History. She’s very much an individual and wanted something different than all the other state schools here (NC). She chose UNC-A and loved it from the start. She’s now finishing up her soph. year, a member of the equestrian club and hoping to do a semester abroad during junior year. She does not regret choosing UNCA. Asheville is such a cool town. </p>
<p>Another neighbor’s D was in the IB program. She told one of her teachers that she wanted to go to Appalachian State University (which was affordable for her family) and he told her she was too smart for ASU and that she should try for Wake Forest or Elon.
That comment made their whole college search miserable. </p>
<p>She ended up at Winthrop University (a small state u. in SC) with a full tuition scholarship for being an IB diploma grad. She had a great experience there…staff member on student newspaper,officer in a sorority, got to know her profs, spent a semester in Germany. She applied to grad school and was accepted to Miami (Ohio),Emerson,Tufts and another school out west that I can’t recall. Ended up earning her MA from Miami with a full tuition grant all four years.</p>
<p>It has been a crazy search. I am such a down to earth parent, and my son is as humble as they come, owns 5 pairs of pants, one pair of shoes and asks for nothing more as he feels it is excess. We have done public school all the way, although he is in a rigorous charter school now. </p>
<p>We fell into a gap of not much aid because his dad, my ex makes a lot, alot alot. And I don’t, in fact missed several years of work with serious illness. But he got no money.</p>
<p>I like this thread too. Part of me needed the affirming that I was not selling him short with the Asheville thing. I think my gut says try asheville first, but deep inside I am afraid he will not be able to go bigger (get into kenyon again) if he decides it is not rigorous enough and we will have blown the opportunity…</p>
<p>So much wonderful advice and just what I needed. I am talking with the folks there again, and am hopeful.</p>
<p>What are you blowing if he doesn’t really like Kenyon? Can you afford another visit when he stays with kids to make sure? Will your ex pony up for a ticket?</p>
<p>What if’s are not good in college things. The review mirror is always there, so be as sure as you can.</p>
<p>(Of course we cannot always be sure.)</p>
<p>I don’t think he’d be selling himself short (what a silly concept) if he went to a state liberal arts college. It might be just the thing.</p>
<p>If you look at the college board website, Kenyon shows a transfer acceptance rate of 24%.</p>
<p>If your son does well at UNC-Asheville and has already been accepted at Kenyon, I would say his chances for transfer acceptance are good.</p>
<p>But - I still have the sense that the only reason you are considering Kenyon at all is because of its reputation.</p>
<p>IF your son should not like UNC-Asheville – he should consider other schools which will be a better fit. Which may or may not include Kenyon.</p>
<p>Asheville.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Ha Ha! Same here. :D</p>
<p>Ha, actually it is MGF maternal grandfather…the social worker in me using that shorthand. </p>
<p>thanks to all for making me see what I should have known. I do think we are trying to make a hexagonal peg fit in an octogonal hole…it’s exquisite, but not a perfect fit. Lots of good food for thought. </p>
<p>I don’t know that I can swing sending him back for an overnight at Kenyon to completely put it to rest, but will pursue it…</p>
<p>Knowing that your FA package is a result of a noncustodial parent that has not offered to pay this full-pay result for Kenyon, run to UNC-A with no regrets. Trying to pick up another job with no extra support from dad is not worth it. Besides, if DS really hates UNC-A transferring to Kenyon doesn’t sound impossible. In fact, DS may find a new passion in college that makes the writing program at Kenyon look less attractive.</p>
<p>My FIL is a retired English/writing professor. He speaks highly of Kenyon but surprisingly, even more highly of UNC-A. He keeps trying to have us look at it for our S.</p>
<p>I LOVE UNC-Asheville.</p>
<p>Don’t listen to those teachers. This is one of those amazing schools that people don’t know about, but where a kid has such an opportunity.</p>
<p>If I were looking at colleges, today, I would actually put it in the top five on my list. Especially if he loves to write. This is what people here refer to as a “hidden gem.” </p>
<p>I love that place.</p>
<p>I didn’t read all the posts but I think I have the gist. My D’s favorite teacher said something VERY dismissive of her final 2 college choices. Apparently neither was a big enough ‘name’ for this teacher. D got into a couple tippy top schools but frankly, we could not possibly have afforded them. Anyway, the comment made my daughter mad and feel bad, but she shook it off and went to her choice anyway, lesser prestige and all. She loves it.</p>
<p>We looked and UNC asheville as well and it was a close contender, though in the end she eliminated it from her (too long) list. I think it is a fabulous school & that your son could find his tribe there, and really have the opportunity to shine and get to know profs, etc.</p>
<p>We’ve been to Kenyon too, and it is gorgeous but my D told me even if it offered a full scholarship she would not be happy in that isolated setting for 4 years. So if your son didn’t feel the pull, I definitely would not over-stretch to send him there!</p>
<p>Personally–visited Guilford too and I think UNC-A is better choice. But only your son can ultimately decide where he wants to be. I’d say UNC-A and embrace the coolness of Asheville and the money for grad school/study abroad, etc!</p>
<p>I have certain benchmarks for a true liberal arts college. Some are very idiosyncratic and speak to my own family. One thing I felt a liberal arts college should have is a classics department. In NYS this was hard to find in our publics. My S was going to school as a Music major, but Classics were a love.</p>
<p>But more than that, I feel that Classics are the basis of our system of knowledge and should not be dropped out.</p>
<p>UNC-A has a lovely Classics Department.</p>
<p>In the end, my son ditched the Music and was a Classics Major so it was good that he attended a school that offered this major.</p>
<p>Now he’s ditched Classics and is about to matriculate in a grad program in Art History.</p>
<p>I know. He’s all over the place in the Arts.</p>
<p>His favorite violin teacher went to North Carolina School of the Arts and made it all the way to Manhattan with her violin studio. Don’t worry. You guys get around.</p>
<p>Lovely comments to wake up to this morning. Thank you so much. </p>
<p>Mythmom, we went to look at St. Johns last week as well, and that was amazing in the vein you are talking about for sure.</p>
<p>Somehow, in my mind, I have gotten to where UNC=A feels right on a gut level, it was a first love after all. Now, to get him there, and get him feeling proud. I have contacted the honors college again, and they are happy to have him for another visit.</p>