help, my P-ton CC ED family! :)

<p>I need an "un-cliched" way to say: "make a significant impact upon humanity." (I'm talking about my goals as a medical researcher). Thanks!!!</p>

<p>I shall fix humanity.</p>

<p>Oh, that's TONS better!</p>

<p>I would try to stay humble, even if you are referencing your future. Say that you want to "HELP do <em>whatever your goal is</em>"</p>

<p>yes, but the problem IS the goal part, aka "help humanity", "improve the quality of people's lives" and other over-used phrases. I need something more original...</p>

<p>I aspire to be that little footnote in every budding medical student's textbook 50 years from now. :D (maybe you could change the footnote part.)</p>

<p>I think your problem is that your goal is "cliche" in that it is a popular one for intelligent, ambitious students to have, no matter what the profession they plan to go into. It is a popular for a reason: making the world a better place is probably the ultimate ambition. So, I would not be worried about it being too "overused" if that is what you truly believe, because whether overused or not, it is an admirable goal. </p>

<p>Sorry for a lack of specific suggestions; I came to this conclusion after trying hard to think of non-cliche ways to say what you want to say, and finding that it was basically impossible. However, I agree with whoamg about the humility part.</p>

<p>well, I'll give you creative, amacing...</p>

<p>that makes sense, btlesgirl, maybe I'm just stressing too much about every single phrase. I'm a perfectionist, if you can't tell. :)</p>

<p>You and me, both! :)</p>

<p>oooh oooh me too!! (or three?)</p>

<p>Aha! So you know how frustrating it is when you cannot find the perfect phrase!</p>

<p>So, earlier in the final paragraph, I say:
"Through a career in genetic or medical research, I hope to ameliorate people’s lives in a more concrete way. " But then that horrible last sentence about my ultimate goal: "making a significant contribution " to what??? science? research? medicine? Boredom?? Horrible essays??? </p>

<p>I KNOW! </p>

<p>The rejection pool!!!</p>

<p>boredom sounds good. :)</p>

<p>you guys are the most helpful group ever!
what about this phrase to un-cliche: "doomed to failure"
(it's really in one of my essays; this is not an attempt to predict anything about Dec. 15 :) :))</p>

<p>any more ideas?</p>

<p>Also, this: "in the grand scheme of things"</p>

<p>To me, the "Through a career in genetic or medical research, I hope to ameliorate people’s lives in a more concrete way. " sentence sounds just a little too bombastic, in a forced sort of way.
I'm not saying it's bad, just that if your whole essay is like that, I would try to use more words that really convey how I feel. You don't have to use big words to impress the adcoms, they know that you know big words. Big words sometimes take the humanity out of essays. The essays are for giving a better picture of yourself, not for using fancy language.</p>

<p>My 2 cents worth...</p>

<p>i support Ernie's comments fully!! I suggest you heed to his advice</p>