Hello Everyone, We need help in narrowing down which middle and high schools in the New England or NY areas would be the best fit for my 2 DS before applying. We have visited a few schools in Massachusetts only so far but still don’t have a good sense of what the schools are really like. Schools visited so far are RL, Milton, BB&N, Deerfield, Groton but we would like to also consider to PA, PEA, Hotchkiss, Choate, Belmont Hill, Noble etc.
So would you please provide your feedback on schools based on the following factors?
Academic Rigor: Challenging and provides a lot of feedback to students on their work; teaches strong executive functioning skills (time management, organization)
STEM Focus: Both DS are math and science oriented, and enjoy doing hands-on or lab-based experiments. Also if there are schools that expose kids to Finance/Investing.
Strong Mentorship by Teachers and Guidance Counselors: Teachers and staff genuinely care about the students’ welfare in academics, sports and personality/character development
Inclusion/Diversity Teaching: (If taught) Taught organically based on teaching respect and tolerance (versus encouraging students to label themselves according to differences in race, religion, sex, family type etc.)
Sex Education Teaching: (If taught) Taught from a science perspective (versus some schools which seem to dive deep into feelings, various methods etc.)
Behavior: Isn’t tolerant of bullying or other bad behavior and teaches good manners and public speaking; heard that some of the prep schools give preferential treatment to the rich kids but don’t know how true this is.
It seems to me (I don’t really know the ISL schools) that you are only looking in a narrow band of schools – any one of which will provide an excellent education. I don’t think you can really cross any off your list, or move any to the #1 position using your list of questions without visiting. They are all excellent schools and there honestly isn’t a vast amount of difference between them. I’m really only familiar with Hotchkiss in your list of schools, so I’ve put my comments above in caps as they apply to Hotchkiss (at least in my opinion).
Thanks cinnamon1212. This is helpful to know about Hotchkiss. Just to follow-up on your response to my question#4 regarding how diversity/inclusion is taught at Hotchkiss…While I understand that the school is diverse, are students supposed to self-identify (based on race, religion, sex orientation etc.), separate out into groups etc.?? Some schools mandate or strongly encourage this type of groupism which would not be a good fit for us.
No, kids of all kinds are well integrated, there isn’t a separation into tribal groups. Take a look at the Instagram account @hkissdanceasks to see a snapshot of the school’s diversity and also integration.
I’m confused by your list of schools as there seems to be a mix of boarding and day schools and if you are intending to be a day student, the schools geographically don’t make sense. The schools also don’t include any schools that I would consider top choices for kids that need executive functioning challenges.
As far as sex education, it’s going to be a rare find in the BS world that does not also approach it from a social emotional angle.
You really need to do a lot more research ( including just reading these forums) before asking all those questions for that large list. Those schools are all very different. My kids applied to a handful of the ones you mentioned, we have friends at several others, my spouse wrote a recommendation for another and we had a family member at another. Those schools are all VERY different.
You really need to know what your kid wants and honestly how they stand in comparison to their peers. This is tough, it really is. Most parents think their kids are the best in the bunch and that’s often true. But when you take a bunch of kids applying to BS, wow, that bunch is pretty darn bright and sporty and all the rest. In fact, some of the kids are simply amazing. There are things to winnow the list, like my kid wants to go home after school ends. Yep, that narrows the list. My kid likes a hyper-competitive environment, that’s another list and my kid wants balance but with more emphasis on x or y.
All of the schools on your list are stellar. Don’t overestimate your kids’ ability to get in especially if you live in MA ( If you live outside of NE, then you’ll likely be fine). Many have low acceptance rates and parents think the other kids won’t be competitive. But they are. So with an acceptance rate of about 10% for example for Groton, that means 90 other kids are NOT accepted. Those are 90 kids with talent and smarts.
On the plus side, each school has a vibe and the schools know which kids ( and families) will fit. Talk to people who have kids at those schools and ask them what they like and don’t, why they considered the school and why they decided to go there. BTW, you can go to any college in America from any one of those schools so don’t let them sell you on the matriculation list. Your kid if they are wise will know which one is best for them. Listen. And decide together. And don’t let your kid fall for the school whose coach gives the best speech ( the kid might drop that sport) or the best facilities. You and your kid are looking for the best HIGH SCHOOl experience they can possibly have. One in which the school will make them the best possible person while they learn and grow. You’ll know after a couple of schools which ones are best for your kid(s). It also might not be the same for both kids.