So I do have the savings to cover the $6k a semester but it won’t leave me much.
So do you all suggest I pay that and then he get a job and me a second to replenish it?
Does the school offer a payment plan (monthly, quarterly)?
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How much did he save over the summer and during high school? Believe me, it is easier to earn/save $900/mo as a hs student when you have no bills to speak of vs. trying to make that payment as an adult when you have plenty of other bills.
If he thinks $900/mo is no big deal I’d tell him great - put college off for a year and show me $10,800 in 12 mos.
There are plenty of families that can’t afford to send their students away to college. Some try to anyway and the kid/family is saddled with debt from the first year and can’t complete the degree at the expensive option and has to pick something they can finish locally.
You and he are not alone. Colleges even plan for this ‘summer melt’ as families realize how unsustainable the cost is. You are lucky to have figured this out now.
Is it possible to work with the FA office to push his scholarships forward? By that I mean is it possible to only enroll this fall and plan for him to work both spring and summer semester to earn money for next fall and spring - would they let him keep his scholarships if he took spring semester off?
That would also let you leverage tax credits since you’d only have one semester of costs per tax year the first two years.
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It does offer a payment plan.
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If you co-sign a loan for him, will you be able to make the payments if he isn’t able to once he graduates? My concern is that the film industry is mostly a gig economy, with a lot of long hours and low pay, and many, many people don’t get steady work. And often located in high cost of living areas. Are you in a position to make the loan payments after he graduates, if he is unable to?
If you do want a loan, though, in addition to the resources listed above, you can see if College Avenue Loans has rates that work for you. Maybe have him work the 10 hours a week during school and as much of his breaks as he can, and then loans for the rest so that you don’t have to take a second job.
Forgive me. I had not seen that this was for a degree in film, from which he is unlikely to be able to find a job to pay back the loans. If this were for one of the top film making schools in the country, then MAYBE it would be worth taking out 75k in loans plus interest.
But if he did not work a ton this summer, and save every penny for college, then no. Community college, or local 4 yr public while living at home.
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As difficult as this will be for your son, I encourage you to talk with him about requesting a deferral for his admission. Then he - and you - should visit the school to discuss how it might work for him at a later date. Is there any more aid available to him this year? If you are going to back out due to finances, it’s possible that they might find more money - be honest & tell them you need $12,000/year - you never know, they might be able to swing it. If he defers for a year, will he keep his scholarships? If he goes to community college for a couple years, will he be eligible for scholarships should he want to matriculate as an upperclassman? If so, what classes should he take that would count toward his degree at that school (you’ll need to talk with an academic counselor about that, most likely).
I worked at a school with many students from lower income backgrounds. I saw too many forced to leave without their degrees because they were piling on too much debt. The school could still work out, but it might involve taking a less-straight path. And don’t be afraid to tell the financial aid office that you need $12,000/year if you decide that he will have to postpone going to the school without it. You never know if you might get it - but you have to ask.
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What do I even say that would get them to even care to listen/consider helping to keep him enrolled?
I am sorry it has come to this crunch now. We do the best we can. But I would say that you are the parent here and I would (wo)man up and lay out the situation for your son. His anger may be horrible, but I’m not sure it is worse than how he (and you) will feel when he’s unemployed or underemployed after graduation and yet has these huge loans hanging over both of you.
I know you said he’s had a rough time, but if he REALLY wants to get out of town he kind of has to make that happen, not you. By that I mean, saving every penny he earns etc.
As the adult in the room, you have to make the tough decisions. I am sorry! I know it is hard.
If you have other kids it is even more important that you don’t max out loans.
Finally, is it possible for your son to give some thought to being a film major while also acquiring some more marketable skills? Eg accounting, marketing etc.
Sarah, has your son approached his HS guidance counselor to ask if there are any local organizations which offer “last dollar” scholarships? I used to sit on the board of an organization which provided these. They are typically NOT a lot of money- a few thousand dollars to bridge the gap between financial aid and the family’s resources-- but they are out there. And it is worth a phone call to the college financial aid office (as Kelsmom suggests- she is an expert in financial aid) to explain that your son absolutely will not be able to enroll due to a gap of 12K per year which you cannot fund.
Do NOT deplete your savings! There are dozens of ways to fund a college education- there is only one way to fund a family emergency and that’s your emergency fund!!!
Nobody wants to upset or disappoint their kid. But your son is surely aware of your financial limitations! If the money isn’t there it isn’t there. Getting a fulltime job for this coming year-- especially at a company which offers college assistance as an employee benefit- is the way to go if he is unwilling to consider community college.
If he is interested in film school he is surely aware of how newly graduated film students support themselves while they pursue their craft. They work as waiters AND walk dogs AND tutor 3rd graders AND take weekend shifts as a receptionist at an assisted living facility. This is the life for several years while they build up a portfolio, get recognition, find an agent, etc. He gets to start early… right now!!! Film will still be there in a year when he’s in a better financial position…
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First, you have to have the discussion with your son about it being too expensive at this time. Once he understands, and once he realizes that it’s not going to happen for this year without more money, help him write an email to the financial aid office. If you want to PM me the school name, I can try to find the best contact person. The email should say something along the lines of:
After very careful consideration and discussion with my mother, we have determined that I don’t have the necessary resources to attend x school this fall. I am crushed, because it’s my dream to attend. Unfortunately, I would need an additional $12,000/year for it to work.
If there is any additional funding that I could qualify for from the school to meet this shortfall, I would be incredibly grateful. If not, I will need to discuss the possibility of deferring admission. In that case, please let me know how to request the deferral.
Thank you so much for your assistance with this. I really appreciate your help.
If the answer is no money, you can then explore how an admissions deferral would work. You can go from there.
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I will try this. He is enrolled at University of Wisconsin Milwaukee. I have been contacting finances@uwm.edu but getting replies from that email is very hard and takes weeks.
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An issue is that film doesn’t pay well at all -as you know there’s a strike going on bc some of the practices the industry has been getting away with are astounding- such as expecting CA new hires to be homeless, living in their car being what they consider normal, due to how low the wage is. Paying back a loan isn’t possible in these conditions.
You need to set parameters before anything else can happen, making the parameters clear, ie., that you don’t have the money.
- he’s likely eligible for work study. He should try and investigate right now whether there are still desk attendant positions at the library, in dorms or buildings. (Those allow students to study while working, unlike the more typical cafeteria job he’ll have to take otherwise). If he has any IT skills he can also inquire with IT services. Have him report to you every day about it till he has a solidbplan or a job offer (others are already doing that). He should plan to work about 8-10 hours a week.
- same thing wrt to off campus iobs. He’ll have to hunt for the highest paying, unskilled jobs - $15-20 an hour, ideally. Others are already applying so he needs to do that ASAP. If he waits till classes start he’ll only have what’s left.
Since it’s only 1 hour away he can go and find it in person, then report to you.
15hours is the absolute maximum TOTAL (on campus+off) he can work without jeopardizing his grades.
Calculate then tell him how much will be his responsibility to pay every month, such as $200. - his choice of college may be academically deserved but puts a heavy burden on the family. As a result, you expect him to share access to the Online Grade system so you know in real time how he’s doing academically, as a reassurance all the sacrfices are worth it.
Now, certainly your son knows you don’t have tons of money.
If you have $6,000 in savings, you MUST save half for your family and yourself in case anything happens. You cannot jeopardize your entire family for him.
However you can take the installment payment plan and commit to paying $2,000 out of savings, usually that’s in 3 or 4 installements. The first downpayment would likely be $1,200-1,500, of which you have 500-700. Does he have savings from his job to cover some of the rest?
- is there a way for you to work more hours or take another job to save toward next semester?
Are there places where he could work a lot of hours through Fall break, Thanksgiving, and full time through Winter Break?
Your goal must be to limit borrowing as much as possible. If you contribute $3,000 from current savings, he contributes $1,000 from his current savings and job earnings, ypu have to borrow $2,000 which is a bit easier.
Parent PLUS are likely the easiest to get approved for but have a high interest fee.
Then for next semester he’ll have to contribute more and you’ll have the savings from the 2nd job.
Even like that, it is quite possible one year is all he can do at that other college unless he positions himself favorably, through his work and activities on campus, his leadership in his dorm… for a RA position.
ETA… Or… whar Kelsmom said above.
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Ooooh. It’s hard to get additional aid at a public school. But it is worth a try. I will PM my suggestion.
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Thank you so much!!!
To me this is very, very scary.
One thing to keep in mind: It is possible to get part way through university and find that you cannot borrow enough money to complete the bachelor’s degree. I have met one person who ran into this, and have heard of a small number of additional cases. I would not start unless you were very confident that you would be able to qualify for enough loans to complete the degree.
Also, if a student is getting a degree in film, I would assume that the parent is going to need to pay off any education loans.
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Let us know what happens. It’s really hard to tell our kids that things aren’t going to work out. But in the end, we sometimes have to disappoint them in the short run to help them in the long term.
Although I would not place bets on it working out, I have my fingers crossed on the increased aid ask. You never know if you don’t try.
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Don’t email - call - make an appointment - even if virtual. You cannot convey a story on email.
What are his stats - GPA (UW and weighted) and test score.
What is his tuition cost?
Might he consider other options if there are cheaper, even if not close to home?
In the end, you are jumping into a lake with a weighted vest.
You are not wanting to tackle the problem today - so that your son doesn’t get crushed.
But this is one of many upcoming times this will happen.
So it seems to me your options are:
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Take the loan - and you will crush yourself and himself, potentially for many years or life financially. Ask the school for career outcomes - you will see.
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Take the loan if needed but work hard to mitigate the impact. That means he works, you work or you both work - and if you have a job now, that means you work when you aren’t working. You could potentially lower costs in future years by getting an RA or moving off campus. On the flipside, tuition will go up each year and rent might too.
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Take a gap year or semester (why i keep asking for stats) and find a lower cost option.
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Start at a CC and live home
This isn’t a today issue and you’re making it as such. Today is just the beginning of many upcoming chapters of the same scenario and that’s the part I think being overlooked.
This is why so many of us discuss finances on the CC - it’s a real issue - but many don’t like to tackle it and I know of no parents that actually want to say “no” to their kids even though they have to.
But the job market and gig market is great - are you open to tackling the cost that way?
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What job market and gig market? The one where they are living and Madison, or the job market after the graduates?
I worked with students via email and via phone. I had no problem with either method, but I found that students/parents not comfortable with this kind of ask were more likely to properly express themselves by starting with an email ask. Once that has been sent, they can follow up by telephone. The OP did not seem comfortable reaching out, which was why I suggested the email - and I PM’d her the name of a higher level manager to contact. She absolutely should feel free to call, though, either initially or as a follow up (especially if she doesn’t get a response).
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