In other words, as I mentioned, the kid can get a job probably $15 an hour at fast food or Target. Mom can too - or drive Uber.
I assume mom works - but I’m talking about extra.
The situation here is not affordable and I’m not sure why this is being discovered now and not months ago - but it is.
The right thing is the kid does not attend.
But if mom is insistent, than rather than strangle herself financially and the kid financially for life, what is she going to do to enhance their chances?
They need money - and money comes from work - and then of course if you can reduce expenses in the future (RA, live off campus) that can help too.
I’m not sure any film school in the country is worth taking on crippling debt.
Understand your position and you lived it but when you’re banging your head against the wall for weeks - sometimes you have to call and get a bit more direct - to have a chance.
That said, that you pointed her to a specific person - that’s a great idea too.
Unfortunately, these folks are likely over burdened with parents/students and their regular duties to be as responsive as we’d all like them to be.
Yup. I let OP know it might not work out. But she is motivated to try, and hopefully she feels better for having done so, regardless of the outcome. I hope that she will follow up by telephone if she chooses to email and doesn’t get a response.
I helped someone in financial distress (after some unforeseeable family issues – their family – , and after the college had maxed out their abilities). In this case, this student was managing to keep up top grades, while also getting up in the wee hours to open up the local Starbucks cafe, and then going back after classes to earn more pay - all on their own initiative.
After the first year, they reduced their cost and living expenses by sharing an off-campus apartment.
As far as Sallie Mae - what counts are the loan terms. I consulted that person in evalutating various lenders, offers, fixed vs. variable rates (based on my credit score), interest-only periods, early-payoff options, etc. - and in their case, Sallie Mae ended up the best offering. Once on paper, you don’t care what people are “saying” about the name on the monthly cheque you’re writing.
Fast forward - the person managed to graduate with a fine arts degree, was respected for their proven track record of working hard, and found suitable employment immediately. They dutifully had been paying the interest while in college, and have since paid off enough to remove me as a guarantor.
So - sometimes these things DO work out, but it takes a lot of academic prowess, ambition and sacrifice from the student - the stereotypical “working their way through college” vs. the hoped-for somewhat “care-free” traditional experience.
PS: And, yes, I realized and accepted that I might have gotten stuck with that loan - but in the scope of things, I was in the fortunate/privileged situation that it was an amount that I would have hated but could have afforded to lose, in exchange for depositing something into my karma bank. I’ve risked/“lost” (on paper) much worse in investments over the years.
I read somewhere that some companies like Target, Starbucks etc. help fund their workers college education. I don’t know full details like if they fund even for part-time workers, but this could be a solution if it works out for you.
I hope/pray that your son will be able to complete his studies.
That would be a good plan. Many schools have a payment plan where the $6k can be paid over the semester, so you are paying $2k, earning that much before the next payment is due, Rinse and repeat. I think that would teach him just how hard it is to earn $1k without being able to spend it.
If you do want a parent plus loan (that is a loan to YOU, not him) the school will help you apply for that. It is from the government. If you want him to have an additional student loans, then SoFi, Discover, Sallie Mae are options. Some states have loans (NJ). Some schools have loans (UVM).
But if he won’t consider any options (community college, gap year, cheaper school) then he has to work. He needs to know that HE is borrowing $17k per year in student loans, some at a higher interest rate (I don’t know what SoFi or the others are lending at, but it’s probably above 7%.
If you can get on a track where you/him are earning enough in one semester to pay for the next, that would be really good. But that’s a long 4 years of working and extra job for you and working and not spending for him.
My daughter was really bad at it when she was in undergrad, but does a better job of it now that she’s going for a masters. Her school is funded and she just has to pay rent ($400/mo), car insurance and repairs, and food. She has a second job (besides being a TA) to cover that. She can actually save some money too. Her student loan repayment kicks back in in Sept and that will be $250/mo. (she doesn’t have $70k in loans; your son’s payments on $70k at a higher interest rate will probably be $1000/mo)
He can also reach out to housing. At some schools there are housing programs to keep students on campus in less expensive dorms or through housing grants or group housing with shared cooking/kitchens, or they may know of reliable less expensive off campus options.
There is a process to waive the on campus requirement because of financial hardship.
“In addition, students with extreme financial or personal hardships may also request an exemption from the residency requirement.”
I saw on your other thread your ex intends to cosign a loan for your S.
If you don’t have a freeze on your credit already, you should get one. And you should also have updated passwords and security questions (something an ex wouldn’t know) on existing accounts.
This is giving me really bad vibes. Your son is not listening to reason/financial realities and is manipulating you with anger/pitting your ex against you, and your response is OK, I guess I just have to take out those loans, something I know is not in my or his best interest in the long term?
Nothing you have said indicates to me that he has skin in the game here. How much is he contributing to his college from his summer job? Will he realistically be able/willing to have a part-time job during school?
In the bigger picture, deferring a year while saving money for college would be a sign of maturity and willingness to actually put some effort into achieving what he wants (as opposed to the “just get an unrealistically large loan and let future me or mom or dad deal with the fallout”.
You don’t HAVE to do this, mom. Having to co-sign a loan for this makes it your decision, not his. If his father now wants to co-sign instead (would he really or is this just to force your hand?), what is the downside to that for you?
Another option is for him to delay until Jan and spend this fall earning the $6000 needed for spring semester. He can earn $1000/mo, plus extra in the holiday season. Then, when he does start school he can get a job and earn $2000, plus $4000 next summer, always trying to stay ahead of the next bill. He will really see how hard it is to earn this money, and it would be even harder to pay back a student loan of this amount plus interest.
If his father wants to cosign loan, nothing you can do about it The more we hear, the more i believe that your son wants what he wants, has no intention of earning the money, even part of it. No reason for you to ruin your relationship with your son. He will do what he wants.
But when what the kid wants is someone to take out a loan for him? And not doing that will make him mad? He can’t do what he wants without dragging someone else into the financial murk.
Right, but if the dad wants to co-sign the loans then the mom likely isn’t in any financial difficulties over this.
If she wants to avert her son’s anger, which she mentioned, maybe she contributes the 2k that was mentioned above and the dad co-signs the loans for the remainder.
I feel I need to explain my situation further than I thought since there seems to be a lot of judgement, which is to be expected. It is natural. I know it isn’t to be cruel.
I am a divorced mom and my ex is the true definition of a narcissist. My children have all had to go to therapy because of it. I even tried taking his visitation away. But that proved next to impossible. So when I say my kids have been thru it, they have been thru it!
Months ago when I was looking at the financials I thought his balance would be half of what it will be per semester after aid. Their financial portal was a bit confusing. And I thought his father would help me pay for that. Which has now changed. I thought maybe my parents could help. Nope. So that is why this is all hitting so late. It wasn’t until I was finally able to “speak” to an advisor that I realized the true amount. And then knowing I had to do it on my own…the situation all changed.
I explained everything to my son. And a lot of your advice too. All the debt he will be in, his risky career choice, everything. And he gets it, to a degree. But he is set on moving away, getting away from his dad, starting over. Not caring what debt it puts him in later. I mentally can’t fight this anymore.
I spoke to an advisor at the school and there is no more aid they can offer/provide. So we are back to square one. As a parent I feel I need to help my son find a loan. No matter how much I know it is a mistake.
I have done research and I still don’t quite understand where to get it from and what kind to get. But maybe there isn’t a “good” loan. Maybe they are all the same in the end.
Just a little lost and VERY stressed. But I will figure it how. Somehow.
You can take out a Parent Plus Loan…you know that, don’t you?
Otherwise, head down to your local bank and see what you qualify for…that you can either take out or,co-sign.
Fact it…he can’t get a loan on his own. He has no collateral. Banks expect that from borrowers. So either you co-sign…or you (or the other parent) take out the loan.